Family wont accept me

[Michael.M]

Salam alaikum

I did convert to islam a year ago, and has since tried to become the best muslim i could, i have gotten my cross tattoos removed, stopped drinking, stopped eating pig. And pray ( salah ) as much as possible for me to remember. I try to use the arabic or ehat you say sentences, as example salam alaikum, as much as possible.

I have now found an muslim girl which her and i have agreed we want each other, we havent kissed or any like that which are looked at as haram. But her parents is against it, they dont want me as their son in law, because they say as a former christian and european i can and will always have en tendency to go back to christianity. Which i dont i only answer to allah and islam. Her and i have agreed to keep see each other and get an imam to marry us.

But what should i do, i love her she makes me a better human and muslim in some way, and have helped me to stop doing sins.

 

[*charisma*]

Walaikum asalaam

Salam alaikum

I did convert to islam a year ago, and has since tried to become the best muslim i could, i have gotten my cross tattoos removed, stopped drinking, stopped eating pig. And pray ( salah ) as much as possible for me to remember. I try to use the arabic or ehat you say sentences, as example salam alaikum, as much as possible.

I have now found an muslim girl which her and i have agreed we want each other, we havent kissed or any like that which are looked at as haram. But her parents is against it, they dont want me as their son in law, because they say as a former christian and european i can and will always have en tendency to go back to christianity. Which i dont i only answer to allah and islam. Her and i have agreed to keep see each other and get an imam to marry us.

But what should i do, i love her she makes me a better human and muslim in some way, and have helped me to stop doing sins.

I am sorry you are going through this, but if her parents are not accepting of you then it's wrong of you to keep seeing their daughter at their disapproval. Instead, you should go talk to her parents yourself. You can reassure them that you are strong in your faith and really love their daughter and would like to marry her. You don't want to create a bad relationship between them and their daughter, even if they are not being understanding at the moment. If you had a daughter in a similar situation, you'd lose a lot of respect for the guy she likes if he does the same thing. So instead of fighting against them, try to work with them and have them know more about you. Their problem could be more than just that you're a revert. It could simply that they just don't know more about you so they don't trust you and do not want their daughter to make a mistake, and that's understandable. But you can change their minds if you are persistent, kind, and honest. And the first thing you have to do is respect their wishes at the moment and not talk to their daughter without their approval. It's against Islam. You never want to start a relationship with a bad foundation of sins. Secondly both of you should pray istikhara. If things go well, then inshallah you are meant to be..and if it's too difficult, then maybe you should just move on. Do you know what the istikhara prayer is? If not, I will give you information about it inshallah.

 

[greenhill]

I absolutely agree with @charisma. And welcome to the forum.

Win them over. Ask them questions about the deen. Simple ones so it is not like you're challenging their knowledge (kind of thing), putting them on the spot.

My way of tackling her parents was to be with the dad when I go. The girl will have little of me when I'm at her home. If he has an interest, try 'be' in with it. It has worked wonders.

They especially worry you'll infuence her to western ways. The stories of the propets should give an example ... How was a man before he became a prophet, was it Moses? He helped shepperd for a family. But to marry the daughter, he had to work for many years before getting full blessing from the father. He proved his worth and earned the daughter's hand in marriage. You can ponder on it :shade:

Wishing you a great stay


eace:

 

[fromelsewhere]

Salaams,

I'm just curious, where are you from? What's your background (generally speaking)?

Also, in your previous post, you stated that you had converted to Islam 4 years ago, but in your current post, you state that you converted one year ago. So did you convert 1 or 4 years ago?

 

[azc]

Both of You can go to any imam to get the nikah performed