`Fatal Illusion' (story in progress...maybe)

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Faatin

Faatin

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So basically I was feeling a little bored today, and I thought to myself, why don't I write a new story? I was a bit on and off about the whole thing, since I haven't written in over 6 months, and also the fact that I never wrote a fictional story based on a Muslim character. My stories had always been on fan fiction regarding some TV show, I stopped writing those though heh. So this is my first attempt at writing a fictional story about a young Muslimah and her journey to becoming a better Muslim. I only wrote the first paragraph just to see if I get any feedback on continuing it or what not...cuz I don't want to be writing if no ones reading lol.


Fatal Illusion​
~Chapter 1 `Desire’

She sat on the bridge letting her feet dangle in the cool silvery water; from the light of the glistening moon, she could see the many vibrant colored fish swimming ever so peacefully. She sighed looking up towards the beautiful night sky; a thousand stars were shining down on her. She closed her eyes, feeling the soft breeze blow through her hair and touch her face. She tried to clear her mind; she tried to escape those thoughts and desires that kept eating at her brain. Suddenly, her eyes snapped open breaking her away from that peaceful place she had almost gotten to. The ringing of her cell phone buzzed through her ears, and she knew exactly who it was. She looked at the time panicking; she hadn’t realized it had gone by that fast. Her mother had been expecting her home an hour ago, grabbing her things she ran home knowing she was in for a long night of “you need to be more responsible” lectures.
 
Seems alright so far sis but i think u should post more like cuz u can't really get much of an impreshun from just 1 paragraph except writing style which seems okay nice and descriptiv nuthin wrong with it but can't get much more than that. So please post more sis

plus u dont need readers and comments to write cuz it should b for u too and some ppl read and enjoy without commenting so dont feel discoreged by lack of comments like keep writing for u but looks like a good start yeh
 
Yeah I think I will continue it. I only started it last night though bc I didn't have much studies. So I guess I'll work on this on the side when I don't have a lot of work for uni.
Human_Being said:
Seems alright so far sis but i think u should post more like cuz u can't really get much of an impreshun from just 1 paragraph except writing style which seems okay nice and descriptiv nuthin wrong with it but can't get much more than that. So please post more sis

plus u dont need readers and comments to write cuz it should b for u too and some ppl read and enjoy without commenting so dont feel discoreged by lack of comments like keep writing for u but looks like a good start yeh
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Why don't we give you ideas on how to write the plot and you put it together with your ability to make it sound like a good story? If our ideas stink (I know mine will) then just continue without our (my) input :D
 
I think that sounds like an interesting plan =)
Ghazalah said:
Why don't we give you ideas on how to write the plot and you put it together with your ability to make it sound like a good story? If our ideas stink (I know mine will) then just continue without our (my) input :D
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said:
in for a long night of “you need to be more responsible” lectures.
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As salaam mualaikum.

Sounds like me and my ex-wife. lol.

Pleased to meet you, sister Faatin. Nice to know another wordsmith. My professional work involves writing content for websites. atm I am contracted, on a long-term basis, to write about movies starring cats and dogs, haunted castles and tips for dates (the boy-girl type not the type growing on trees). Keep on going, sister Faatin. First write for the fun of it. Then after you have finished, think about monetizing your story. Too many people, myself included, write for money and money alone. btw your story has inspired me to put on paper something which has been simmering on the back burner of my mind for years. I may post it here. Insha Allah.
 
w/salaams. I was in the "moment" when writing this, and right now I'm not so eager haha but I might continue it. I think right now I'm just being too lazy..and yeah! You should definitely write your story and post it=)
ThisOldMan said:
As salaam mualaikum.

Sounds like me and my ex-wife. lol.

Pleased to meet you, sister Faatin. Nice to know another wordsmith. My professional work involves writing content for websites. atm I am contracted, on a long-term basis, to write about movies starring cats and dogs, haunted castles and tips for dates (the boy-girl type not the type growing on trees). Keep on going, sister Faatin. First write for the fun of it. Then after you have finished, think about monetizing your story. Too many people, myself included, write for money and money alone. btw your story has inspired me to put on paper something which has been simmering on the back burner of my mind for years. I may post it here. Insha Allah.
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said:
w/salaams. I was in the "moment" when writing this, and right now I'm not so eager haha but I might continue it. I think right now I'm just being too lazy..and yeah! You should definitely write your story and post it=)
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As salaam mualaikum.

If the moderator or moderators, as the case might be, deem my submission fit for this forum, you will find it under the thread "It was a dark and stormy night". Insha Allah.
 

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