This is a conversation between a son and father on fathers day.Warning it is not funny.
Happy Father's Day
Son - Here is your Father's Day gift, Dad. I hope that you like it.
Dad - Of course I'll like it, Son. It's from you.
Son - It isn't much.
Dad - A tie! Wow! I'll be. That's nice, Son. It's a fine looking tie.Dad mutters - How Do they do it? Every year? I have a drawer with forty innit tiesnone of them match
that I own. Or shirt. It's like a conspiracy. They have to be doing this on purpose.
Son - What?
Dad - Oh, nothing. I love it, Son. Thank you.
Son - Well, I didn't know what to get you.
Dad - Um, Son, you can just ask me, next time.
Son - Oh. I didn't think that would be right.
Dad - Well, If I were the hinting kind, I'd hint for a new grill.
Son - And I would like a million dollars.
Dad - Funny.
Son - I can bring you some meat. How's that?
Dad - Well, Son, that would be great! Can you bring over your grill, too? Oh and could you just leave it here for awhile?
Son - Sure, Dad.
Dad - Thanks.
Son - You will have to get gas for it. It's empty.
Dad - Nevermind, Son. They say that it's the thought that counts.
Son - That's right.
Dad - I'll tell you what. Bring your edger over.
Son - It's broken.
Dad - Darn.
Dad - Say, what happened to my edger? Didn't you borrow that last Father's day?
Son - Yeah. I broke it.
Dad - Darn.
Son - I'll go get you a six-pack of beer.
Dad - You should have done that first. You could have saved all the money that you spent on that nice tie.
Son - You don't like the tie, do you, Dad?
Dad - Of course I do.
Son - I'll be right back.
Dad - Hurry back.
Son - Here's the beer.
Dad - Now, that's nice. Thanks.
Son - About the tie, I am sorry.
Dad - That's ok.
Son - No, really, I am.
Dad - Well, if it will make you feel better, I'll tell you something. My cleaning lady said that all of the ties that she found in my drawer would make a nice rug or comforter, if I wasn't going to wear them. She offered me twenty bucks for the whole drawer full. I told her that I couldn't part with them. They are special.
Son - Aw, Dad.
Dad - Yep.
Son - That's really sweet, Dad.
Dad - I know. She keeps asking me, though. She says she really likes the pink ones.
Son - That's nice.
Dad - In a few more years, they may be worth forty to her.
Son - You think so?
Dad - Yeah. I think she wants some more purple ones.
Son - Oh.
Dad - She told me that she had never seen a purple, pink and orange striped tie before.
Son - Really?
Dad - Yeah. It made me feel really special.
Son - That's nice.
Dad - She also said that she could make some fine curtains out of the red and brown striped ties. I think she has red carpet in her house.
Son - That is great.
Dad - In fact, next year, why don't you call her up and ask her to go with you to pick out my tie?
Son - Are you drunk, Dad?
Dad - No. I just think you both have similar taste in colors.
Son - What's that supposed to mean?
Dad - Nothing, Son. Nevermind.
Son - You aren't getting senile, are you?
Dad - No. Raising you just made me a bit crazy.
Son - Oh. So, it's my fault?
Dad - Are you going to stay all day?
Son - I had planned on it. Why?
Dad - Good. You can help me paint the house. I'll get the paint and ladders out.
Son - Um, I forgot. I told my wife I'd be home soon.
Dad - She can come over and help.
Son - No, I think she has something planned for us.
Dad - Funny, you didn't mention that before.
Son - I forgot.
Dad - Are you getting senile? You know, they say that it sets in earlier, now days.
Son - No, Dad. I'm fine.
Dad - I hope so.
Dad - Oh, by the way, have you had a vision check done lately?
Son - No, Dad. Why?
Dad - Oh, nothing, really...just that your Aunt Joy has color blindness. It might run in some families. I am not sure. Just checking.
Son - Dad, my eyes are fine.
Dad - That's very good, Son.
Son - Well, I'll be going now. Take care.
Dad - You are going to leave the rest of the beer here, aren't you?
Son - Sure, Dad. I'll just take one with me.
Dad - Now, you know that isn't smart, with drunk driving laws being so tight. You better not do that.
Son - You are right, as usual. I'll just leave it all here.
Dad - That would be wise.
Son - Well, I'll be seeing you again, soon.
Dad - When are you planning on coming back for a visit?
Son - I'm not sure.
Dad mutters - Probably about the time I finish painting the house.
Son - What?
Dad - Oh, nothing.
Son - Are you sure that you are ok?
Dad - Yeah.
Son - Before I leave, I wanted to ask you something. Can I borrow your boat?
Dad - Don't you remember? You sank it last summer. We never did find it.
Son - I thought that you would have bought a new one, by now.
Dad mutters - I knew better.
Son - What?
Dad - Nothing.
Son - How about the fishing poles?
Dad - Nope. You lost those, too.
Son - Oh, yeah. Oh, well.
Dad - After I get through painting the house, I need to paint the fence. I'll save that for a time when you can come.
Son - No, You better go ahead. It may be some time before I visit you again.
Dad mutters - That figures.
Son - What?
Dad - Nothing.
Son - I thought I heard you say something?
Dad - Son, have you had your hearing checked, lately?
Son - No, Dad. Why?
Dad - Your cousin is deaf in one ear. You never know.
Son - Dad, my hearing is fine.
Dad - If you say so, Son.
Son - Dad, before I go, I wanted to ask you, can I borrow your ladder?
Dad - No, Son. I have to paint the house, remember? I can't reach that high.
Son - Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Dad - Are you drunk?
Son - No, Dad.
Dad - Son, next time you come, bring two six-packs. That way, you can stay longer.
Son - Sure, Dad. Happy Father's Day.
Dad - Thanks, Son.
Son - Bye, Dad.
Dad - Bye, Son.
Dad mutters - I thought he'd never leave. At least he didn't take anything with him, this time.
</U>
Happy Father's Day
Son - Here is your Father's Day gift, Dad. I hope that you like it.
Dad - Of course I'll like it, Son. It's from you.
Son - It isn't much.
Dad - A tie! Wow! I'll be. That's nice, Son. It's a fine looking tie.Dad mutters - How Do they do it? Every year? I have a drawer with forty innit tiesnone of them match
that I own. Or shirt. It's like a conspiracy. They have to be doing this on purpose.
Son - What?
Dad - Oh, nothing. I love it, Son. Thank you.
Son - Well, I didn't know what to get you.
Dad - Um, Son, you can just ask me, next time.
Son - Oh. I didn't think that would be right.
Dad - Well, If I were the hinting kind, I'd hint for a new grill.
Son - And I would like a million dollars.
Dad - Funny.
Son - I can bring you some meat. How's that?
Dad - Well, Son, that would be great! Can you bring over your grill, too? Oh and could you just leave it here for awhile?
Son - Sure, Dad.
Dad - Thanks.
Son - You will have to get gas for it. It's empty.
Dad - Nevermind, Son. They say that it's the thought that counts.
Son - That's right.
Dad - I'll tell you what. Bring your edger over.
Son - It's broken.
Dad - Darn.
Dad - Say, what happened to my edger? Didn't you borrow that last Father's day?
Son - Yeah. I broke it.
Dad - Darn.
Son - I'll go get you a six-pack of beer.
Dad - You should have done that first. You could have saved all the money that you spent on that nice tie.
Son - You don't like the tie, do you, Dad?
Dad - Of course I do.
Son - I'll be right back.
Dad - Hurry back.
Son - Here's the beer.
Dad - Now, that's nice. Thanks.
Son - About the tie, I am sorry.
Dad - That's ok.
Son - No, really, I am.
Dad - Well, if it will make you feel better, I'll tell you something. My cleaning lady said that all of the ties that she found in my drawer would make a nice rug or comforter, if I wasn't going to wear them. She offered me twenty bucks for the whole drawer full. I told her that I couldn't part with them. They are special.
Son - Aw, Dad.
Dad - Yep.
Son - That's really sweet, Dad.
Dad - I know. She keeps asking me, though. She says she really likes the pink ones.
Son - That's nice.
Dad - In a few more years, they may be worth forty to her.
Son - You think so?
Dad - Yeah. I think she wants some more purple ones.
Son - Oh.
Dad - She told me that she had never seen a purple, pink and orange striped tie before.
Son - Really?
Dad - Yeah. It made me feel really special.
Son - That's nice.
Dad - She also said that she could make some fine curtains out of the red and brown striped ties. I think she has red carpet in her house.
Son - That is great.
Dad - In fact, next year, why don't you call her up and ask her to go with you to pick out my tie?
Son - Are you drunk, Dad?
Dad - No. I just think you both have similar taste in colors.
Son - What's that supposed to mean?
Dad - Nothing, Son. Nevermind.
Son - You aren't getting senile, are you?
Dad - No. Raising you just made me a bit crazy.
Son - Oh. So, it's my fault?
Dad - Are you going to stay all day?
Son - I had planned on it. Why?
Dad - Good. You can help me paint the house. I'll get the paint and ladders out.
Son - Um, I forgot. I told my wife I'd be home soon.
Dad - She can come over and help.
Son - No, I think she has something planned for us.
Dad - Funny, you didn't mention that before.
Son - I forgot.
Dad - Are you getting senile? You know, they say that it sets in earlier, now days.
Son - No, Dad. I'm fine.
Dad - I hope so.
Dad - Oh, by the way, have you had a vision check done lately?
Son - No, Dad. Why?
Dad - Oh, nothing, really...just that your Aunt Joy has color blindness. It might run in some families. I am not sure. Just checking.
Son - Dad, my eyes are fine.
Dad - That's very good, Son.
Son - Well, I'll be going now. Take care.
Dad - You are going to leave the rest of the beer here, aren't you?
Son - Sure, Dad. I'll just take one with me.
Dad - Now, you know that isn't smart, with drunk driving laws being so tight. You better not do that.
Son - You are right, as usual. I'll just leave it all here.
Dad - That would be wise.
Son - Well, I'll be seeing you again, soon.
Dad - When are you planning on coming back for a visit?
Son - I'm not sure.
Dad mutters - Probably about the time I finish painting the house.
Son - What?
Dad - Oh, nothing.
Son - Are you sure that you are ok?
Dad - Yeah.
Son - Before I leave, I wanted to ask you something. Can I borrow your boat?
Dad - Don't you remember? You sank it last summer. We never did find it.
Son - I thought that you would have bought a new one, by now.
Dad mutters - I knew better.
Son - What?
Dad - Nothing.
Son - How about the fishing poles?
Dad - Nope. You lost those, too.
Son - Oh, yeah. Oh, well.
Dad - After I get through painting the house, I need to paint the fence. I'll save that for a time when you can come.
Son - No, You better go ahead. It may be some time before I visit you again.
Dad mutters - That figures.
Son - What?
Dad - Nothing.
Son - I thought I heard you say something?
Dad - Son, have you had your hearing checked, lately?
Son - No, Dad. Why?
Dad - Your cousin is deaf in one ear. You never know.
Son - Dad, my hearing is fine.
Dad - If you say so, Son.
Son - Dad, before I go, I wanted to ask you, can I borrow your ladder?
Dad - No, Son. I have to paint the house, remember? I can't reach that high.
Son - Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Dad - Are you drunk?
Son - No, Dad.
Dad - Son, next time you come, bring two six-packs. That way, you can stay longer.
Son - Sure, Dad. Happy Father's Day.
Dad - Thanks, Son.
Son - Bye, Dad.
Dad - Bye, Son.
Dad mutters - I thought he'd never leave. At least he didn't take anything with him, this time.
</U>
