Feeling dead and lost faith

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aislamiya

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I dont know whats been happening to me recently.
in fact the last couple of months
i just feel like no matter how much i try i no longer will be connected to Allah like i was before
Allah just never gives me the good things i want. i feel like no matter how much i pray or fast or abstain from sin, Allah still makes everything hard on me.
im on my early 20s and so far most of my life has been kind of miserable. i will start university in some days but im too late anyway
and i see all the people who sin have all the things that i could use in life.
i am short which makes me very sad. i have some asthetic problems which make me feel sad (a big nose that i broke in an accident
i feel hopeless and i hesitate to even pray. but i do pray but without a feeling.i even fast and try to be a good muslim and practice, but whenever i practice, i dont feel a thing. sometimes even when i read quran i dont feel a thing. even when i listen to the quran i dont feel a thing. i feel dead inside. sometimes i pray that i want to die i feel like i cant love anyone anymore. i just dont feel like an alive person. i feel like i am only physically movin but so do zombies.
im tired of feeling like this. i dont believe in concepts of hope anymore. i was broken long time ago and that trust in Allah, i just cant fix.
 
Salam. I understand what you say. I think everyone goes through this situation in their lives once in their lifetime. It's very good that you don't quit your rituals. This is only a test. Allah loves you and He's testing your patience. If you are praying for something and Allah doesn't give you, that doesn't mean He ignores you... Maybe whatever you are requesting isn't favorable for you. Or either You are not asking sincerely. But don't forget Allah knows the best and He will do the best for you.

check on this video: https://youtu.be/V1pOypz6TqA
 
rozyred said:
Salam. I understand what you say. I think everyone goes through this situation in their lives once in their lifetime. It's very good that you don't quit your rituals. This is only a test. Allah loves you and He's testing your patience. If you are praying for something and Allah doesn't give you, that doesn't mean He ignores you... Maybe whatever you are requesting isn't favorable for you. Or either You are not asking sincerely. But don't forget Allah knows the best and He will do the best for you.

check on this video: https://youtu.be/V1pOypz6TqA
Click to expand...


ok i will check this video. its very sad to feel dead at all times. its kind of hard to predict that the future will be good now
i want a good girl in life, but all the girls that look good somehow "arent meant to be with me " that saddens me further.
there was a beautiful girl who loved me so much in life, and i lost her and now i feel big regret. how could i let such a young lady go
why did i listen to the musliim "brother" who said she is not for me.
the wounds are deep
nothing is helping me ever since. i feel like the future is.. black

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and ok.. lets say i got over that
but whats wrong with asking Allah for a 17 year old girl - some years yonger than me
shes not a sinner. she is younger. she is beautiful. why cant she be with me ? why should all good girls go to those who deserve them? why should i be alone
? do u know how much being alone hurts? especially to me im a young person with a lot of desire.
not only sexual. but desire to be surrounded by people. and by a female companion. see up to my 20s i have taken care of my self to not fall into zinah
but was it worth it?
i see these zinah people, they get the most georgeous girls. even some very good girls to be honest! like those who took care of themselves and protected theimselves. so if these people are getting one another. why not me? why?
dont i desreve it?
its one of those things that just make me abonodon religion ( not saying like becomin agnostic or atheist) but just abondon practicing.
it drives me to a place of darkness and confusion. and it hasnt been stopping for years now. ?
i feel bad, nothing is fixiing this
 
Maybe you're heart isn't in the right place

Remember these people may have girls but those girls may give them std's ;p and even worse hellfire
Here you've been given the greatest blessing islam. Begin to appreciate it and be grateful.


Come the akhira the arguments are gonna be reversed in a manner

Focus on yourself build iman and character ponder and reflect upon islam
 
Brother Wallahi I understand you 100%.I have been going through exactly what you are going.Firstly Congratulations for staying pure,I know its not easy
Now you see these beautiful girls with zinnah people,I have seen them too,but you havent seen their behaviour as wives.They would have made your life miserable,or as Zeal here said,hellfire.Many of those girls inside are the complete opposite of their outside look.So dont envy those zinnah people,be grateful you arent married with someone you would like for a few years only

Dont stop practising.What if Allah has choosen for you an amazing girl,but the conditions arent right for you to meet? That would be shameful wouldnt it? Turning your back from the One who created a girl that will love and care about you till death.That would be shameful,so dont shame yourself

Think clearly what you want in a girl,except from beauty,then write it down.Make a few questions that will show you if a girl has these traits or not and when you see a muslim girl you like,find her wali,meet the girl and ask these questions to see if she is the one.Make duaas meanwhile and work on yourself,then the right girl will come in shaa Allah

And please stop this 17 year old thing,a 17 year old hardly knows anything about real life
Wish you all the best
Salam Alaikum :)
 
thanks so much for the nice words. but recently i been so dead inside, so suicidal that im not even trying to go after anyone anymore.
i feel like im already late with everything in life, and i have done so many mistakes. its too late. i guess ill never be all right
 
its not that im doing any big sin. i left pornography long ago. i abstain from masutbation. you see , i odnt even do these sins anymore. since we are talking about desires. not only have i never had a gf, zinah, i dont even do things on my own anymore cause i fear Allah from transgression. but if im this good, why is my state so bad? im losing my mind , wallahi its not easy!! i am litterally close to losing my mind
i even quit music- something that i used to love a lot
yet i am MISERABLE. I am more dead than the dead, you have no clue how i am inside. i feel like death is better than life nowadays. its been like this for months. i never find peace. no patience anymore
 
Brother I got severe depression and still having it.My life is upside down.I dont know if Allah has even abandoned me or not.Trust me I have a clue how you are inside.Those people with sins may be getting their reward here,in the dunya,and then they will have nothing in akhirah,so dont envy them.You know sometimes I think,maybe this is our blessing.,this terrible condition we are in now.Maybe Allah is removing our sins because of this,and is shaping our personality,making us ready for the future.The price to enter Jannah isnt low.Everyone has its own way of paying,maybe this is ours

I know sometimes you want to die,I wish I stopped existing too.But we have no choice but Jannah or Jannaham.We can give up after all we did and follow the shaytan,or hold tight to the rope of Allah,hoping one day we will be out of this pit

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5pyZkY93B2A

:allahuakbar1:
 
Assalamu Alaikum

You still have faith. But you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You stopped sinning, and that's great..but what else are you doing in your life?? Instead of dwelling on everything going wrong and the things you have no control over, why not take control of the things you can change and you can do. If you can't make yourself happy, try making someone else happy who cannot do it for themselves. Think outside of yourself. Don't allow yourself to sit in depression to this extent. Depression comes from a variety of things, but it always stems from the thoughts of "what if.." and "why me?." You need to remove these thoughts from your head because they won't do you any good. As for feeling suicidal, your soul does not belong to you, it belongs to Allah. Your family also has rights to you, and what benefit will it bring you to commit suicide anyway?? We are not kuffar to believe that pain stops if we kill ourselves. The punishments of the grave are no joke. I don't understand why these days it's so easy for people to speak about wanting to commit suicide. I'm sure there are a lot of things in your life you can do. So what if you're short?? You're not the only short person in this world. Get over that insecurity. Being a good Muslim is not doing the bare minimum. How much of the Quran have you memorized? How do you treat your parents? Are they happy with you? Do you make du'a for them? There are so many things you can do to improve your life. If you're having trouble finding someone to marry, the only thing I can say is that you're probably not even ready to mentally handle marriage.
 
why am i not ready for marriage according to you?
the only reason its cause i am not financially able to. all the others are things that i would fix. but the sadness is that i never have luck in landing into a good girl that i like.
 
Salam aleikum brother, Everything is not in our hands but in Allahs, I have been there and almost felt like you a while, i almost left islam istaghfurallah. But dont dwell on the thing you do not have control over, you probably feel like everyone is judging you because they feel comfortable, but do not look on the thing you so not have instead focus on what you have, and be grateful. I have a Ruqya i want you to hear it, it really helped me but listen to it for 7 days. It might be long but just surrender to allah whilst you are listening to it and i hope it helps u inshallah. https://www.youtube.com/embed/vflMn02j2sY
 
*charisma* said:
Assalamu Alaikum

You still have faith. But you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You stopped sinning, and that's great..but what else are you doing in your life?? Instead of dwelling on everything going wrong and the things you have no control over, why not take control of the things you can change and you can do. If you can't make yourself happy, try making someone else happy who cannot do it for themselves. Think outside of yourself. Don't allow yourself to sit in depression to this extent. Depression comes from a variety of things, but it always stems from the thoughts of "what if.." and "why me?." You need to remove these thoughts from your head because they won't do you any good. As for feeling suicidal, your soul does not belong to you, it belongs to Allah. Your family also has rights to you, and what benefit will it bring you to commit suicide anyway?? We are not kuffar to believe that pain stops if we kill ourselves. The punishments of the grave are no joke. I don't understand why these days it's so easy for people to speak about wanting to commit suicide. I'm sure there are a lot of things in your life you can do. So what if you're short?? You're not the only short person in this world. Get over that insecurity. Being a good Muslim is not doing the bare minimum. How much of the Quran have you memorized? How do you treat your parents? Are they happy with you? Do you make du'a for them? There are so many things you can do to improve your life. If you're having trouble finding someone to marry, the only thing I can say is that you're probably not even ready to mentally handle marriage.
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and you are saying that being short isnt a big deal?
as far as i know, all women want tall guys. ibut its build in the ladies to want taller man. and that kills me.
so many things kill me slowly. you might think they arent much big deals but its better that you dont know. being on the twenties and neever tasting a womans touch is not easy,when my friends have done those and long forgoten about their first experiences. i struggle with my desires everyday. i struggle with the fact that i shouldnt have even existed. i am late on life with everytihng

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Muhammedbin said:
Salam aleikum brother, Everything is not in our hands but in Allahs, I have been there and almost felt like you a while, i almost left islam istaghfurallah. But dont dwell on the thing you do not have control over, you probably feel like everyone is judging you because they feel comfortable, but do not look on the thing you so not have instead focus on what you have, and be grateful. I have a Ruqya i want you to hear it, it really helped me but listen to it for 7 days. It might be long but just surrender to allah whilst you are listening to it and i hope it helps u inshallah. https://www.youtube.com/embed/vflMn02j2sY
Click to expand...

thanks a lot for the reply bro. i havent listened to music for the last month. im listening to quran at times and i hope that this helps. i suffer from waswas aswell.

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*charisma* said:
Assalamu Alaikum

You still have faith. But you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You stopped sinning, and that's great..but what else are you doing in your life?? Instead of dwelling on everything going wrong and the things you have no control over, why not take control of the things you can change and you can do. If you can't make yourself happy, try making someone else happy who cannot do it for themselves. Think outside of yourself. Don't allow yourself to sit in depression to this extent. Depression comes from a variety of things, but it always stems from the thoughts of "what if.." and "why me?." You need to remove these thoughts from your head because they won't do you any good. As for feeling suicidal, your soul does not belong to you, it belongs to Allah. Your family also has rights to you, and what benefit will it bring you to commit suicide anyway?? We are not kuffar to believe that pain stops if we kill ourselves. The punishments of the grave are no joke. I don't understand why these days it's so easy for people to speak about wanting to commit suicide. I'm sure there are a lot of things in your life you can do. So what if you're short?? You're not the only short person in this world. Get over that insecurity. Being a good Muslim is not doing the bare minimum. How much of the Quran have you memorized? How do you treat your parents? Are they happy with you? Do you make du'a for them? There are so many things you can do to improve your life. If you're having trouble finding someone to marry, the only thing I can say is that you're probably not even ready to mentally handle marriage.
Click to expand...

meanwhile the zinah people are tall and get the preetiest of ladies. i have a friend who was into zinah, and still is. he even cheated on his girl.while his girl is a gem! shes the typical home kind of a girl. a wife material kind of girl.
why dont these kinds of women come to me? why do i have to wait forever? will i end up alone?
all my life i been dealing with women who werent worth it so i never truly tried. i need answers, so i may find peace
 
Is this really what the questions about my brother? Zinah? Women? You must understand that women like confident men and if islam does not give you confidence i do not know what will. Islam teaches you that your are not in control over everything and that allah is, so physiologically that should give you calamity and confidence. If you are a true muslim.

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Im not tying to go hard on you bro since you are doing that job on yourself pretty good, all im saying bro, have patience and believe in allah blindly, everything will go well after that inshallah, that there worked for me.
 
Muhammedbin said:
Is this really what the questions about my brother? Zinah? Women? You must understand that women like confident men and if islam does not give you confidence i do not know what will. Islam teaches you that your are not in control over everything and that allah is, so physiologically that should give you calamity and confidence. If you are a true muslim.

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Im not tying to go hard on you bro since you are doing that job on yourself pretty good, all im saying bro, have patience and believe in allah blindly, everything will go well after that inshallah, that there worked for me.
Click to expand...

wallahi brother. its so hard to be patient. the desires are killing me and i fell way too alone. its not that i am un confident around women. i am confident around everybody wallah. but i dont want to go the bad ways. i want to find a good girl in life so i can show her my confidence. but a good girl i never meet!
i never ever ever get lucky to meet the women my friends meet. two of my best friends have already met the women of their lives and they are gems. me?
as always stuck behind. no money. no wife. nothing. And wallahi i intend no zinah. if i wanted i could have done it.
but i want a wife to complete half of my deen, to not feel alone. to find peace while looking at her. to fullfill my desires with her. to share a ramadan with her.
brother things arent as easy as you think
 
Bad people attracts other bad people so if you see zinnah people with beautiful girls remember that how beautiful she might seem, there is a reason why she is with a zinnah man, Im young i live in Sweden and i see those temptations alot, but that is all satans work, trust me i know how hard it is, but Allah bless people who are patient remember that.
 
Muhammedbin said:
Bad people attracts other bad people so if you see zinnah people with beautiful girls remember that how beautiful she might seem, there is a reason why she is with a zinnah man, Im young i live in Sweden and i see those temptations alot, but that is all satans work, trust me i know how hard it is, but Allah bless people who are patient remember that.
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only one friend is a zinah person. the other is not. dont missunderstand that. i just feel like ill never meet the woman i need in life. i always only meet those i dont like.

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Muhammedbin said:
Bad people attracts other bad people so if you see zinnah people with beautiful girls remember that how beautiful she might seem, there is a reason why she is with a zinnah man, Im young i live in Sweden and i see those temptations alot, but that is all satans work, trust me i know how hard it is, but Allah bless people who are patient remember that.
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dont want to spend my whole life with a " spouse " and then look around and might fall into zinah. cause i am not attracted to the woman i marry. i want a beautiful girl who is also religious. THATS what i cant find. its not that i am unconfident around women. dude i hade my chances but i left them fisibililah!
 
Im not judging you bro, I have the same desires you have and wallahi I also mako duas for that, I started really to practicing islam for about 4 months ago, I still see pictures of my friends having beautiful wives, and may allah bless them with more in life. But I believe in Allah blindly, Never say you feel alone and that might be the case but allah is always with you, no matter how big of a problem you have. Allah loves those who are patient and what is more important to you Allahs love or a women? Be patient brother for Allahs sake.

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Im not judging you bro, I have the same desires you have and wallahi I also mako duas for that, I started really to practicing islam for about 4 months ago, I still see pictures of my friends having beautiful wives, and may allah bless them with more in life. But I believe in Allah blindly, Never say you feel alone and that might be the case but allah is always with you, no matter how big of a problem you have. Allah loves those who are patient and what is more important to you Allahs love or a women? Be patient brother for Allahs sake.
 
Muhammedbin said:
Im not judging you bro, I have the same desires you have and wallahi I also mako duas for that, I started really to practicing islam for about 4 months ago, I still see pictures of my friends having beautiful wives, and may allah bless them with more in life. But I believe in Allah blindly, Never say you feel alone and that might be the case but allah is always with you, no matter how big of a problem you have. Allah loves those who are patient and what is more important to you Allahs love or a women? Be patient brother for Allahs sake.


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Im not judging you bro, I have the same desires you have and wallahi I also mako duas for that, I started really to practicing islam for about 4 months ago, I still see pictures of my friends having beautiful wives, and may allah bless them with more in life. But I believe in Allah blindly, Never say you feel alone and that might be the case but allah is always with you, no matter how big of a problem you have. Allah loves those who are patient and what is more important to you Allahs love or a women? Be patient brother for Allahs sake.
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dude.. i get that Allah is with me. But wasnt Allah with Adam when he created EVE?dont misentepret what i am saying. thanks for the words but you have to understand what im saying i always pray that my friends are in peace too but , being alone IS CAUSING ME TOO MUCH FITNAH IN SOUL. its not as easy as it was some years ago. i dont know.. im mature now or whats wroong. i just cant stand being alone anymore.i came to thepoint that i even feel dead and numb due to loneliness
 
Its your testosterone levels getting higher, and you have a weakness now, that shaytan takes advantage of. " I get that Allah is with me" your wrote it as if it is something basic, Im not really judging you, listen to the ruqya i sent you I hope it helps. You are looking for answers in this forum but really allah is the one with all answers so aproach to find those answers in the right way may allah be with you brother.
 
Muhammedbin said:
Its your testosterone levels getting higher, and you have a weakness now, that shaytan takes advantage of. " I get that Allah is with me" your wrote it as if it is something basic, Im not really judging you, listen to the ruqya i sent you I hope it helps. You are looking for answers in this forum but really allah is the one with all answers so aproach to find those answers in the right way may allah be with you brother.
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thanks for the words bro. may Allah reward you.
 

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