[lostboy2389]

I am posting this again because first time there were some problems creating the Thread :
So hello guys I am a arab guy who lives in the western world. I am finding it really unfair how Allah treats me, although I love Allah more than anything. My life is a mess. When I wasnt even born yet the bad news started. The doctors told my mother that my head is very big. My Mother and Father divorced when I was 1 year old. Well life was easy back then somehow but after I grew a bit (5 years old) my Mother and my Stepfather always hit me and my Stepfather treated my unfair although he wasnt all the time bad but most of the time. When I first visited scool all my class members hated me, one guy said to me : "As soon as you go away I am gonna threw a party and invite all class members". Around 7 years old we moved to elsewhere and since then EVERY WEEK something bad happend where I got involved in, in the Family. Well we moved once again, once again at my new Scool people started to hate me, I still not understand what I did wrong I had no friends at all and I wasnt even permitted to go out I had to go to School and come back home. All this left inside me something dark and from time to time it started to grow. Imagine having no one to speak to at all and sitting all the day at home and get hit by anyone . I was always asking myself what I did so that Allah allows all this to happen to me. When I was 12 Years old I again changed School, and they hated me once again, so much that I started to hit my classmates, so the scoolleader decided to fire me from Scool and so people started to think I am crazy so for a half year I had to go into a psychiatric hospital, then I again had to signup for another scool that is one level more bad and I had to repeat the whole year, people started to hate my again, I got involved in fights and got hit many times by my classmates they made fun of me, how I look, and they made fun of me that my mother wouldnt permit to go out with anyone. I was only 13 Years old, and once again I got fired again from scool, and got involved with the police (long story). My father didnt really care about me he wasnt interested. When I got home from Scool there where fighrs and arguments all the time I couldnt really concentrate on Scool and so my marks went down. Now I am 17 and about to suicide, I am trying to please allah but I cant, there was a Girl which loved me but I told her that I cant be with her cuz I would gain the anger of Allah and yeah. So I split up with her for the sake of Allah, anyway my Life didnt got any better, everything is going bad. I look so ugly, I have a really big head and big noise which doesnt fit to the rest of my body, girls tell me they would rather choose someone who is fat and ugly than choosing me. I basically have no hobbys at all whatever I touch breaks and whatever I do fails. I feel like Allah has cursed me for something or I dont know, I got continous waswasa on me a raqi once told me that I am possesed by a Jinn so basically the Shaytan is acompanying me all the time and leading me to utter bad things and to.act bad I m completly done with my life I m waiting to ger 18 so I can go somewhere far away and kill my self, I got no one to tell my problems I have no friends I just sit at home and live in excessive fear

 

[AhmadDawahXD]

Akhi I just wanna in'schaa'allah answer this for the sake of Allah
Before I start I live in germany so my english is not that great
But that won't disturb us in'schaa'allah
So akhi I just wanted to say that Allah (s.w.a) tested all of our Prophets all Prophets were tested like no mankind now.
Everything is so easy now, it is actually nothing compared to the prophets.
But Allah didn't test them because he hated them,no in fact he tested them because of love from the All-Mighty (s.w.a).
A test where you can prove that you are able to stand loyal towards your Lord.
Akhi do what Allah (s.w.a) has ordered you to do.
You will be happy.
As long as you have faith in him he will guide you and protect you In'schaa'allah

 

[AhmadDawahXD]

And one more Point... excessive fear is one of the points where you can get possessed.
So have faith in Allah (s.w.a) .
How could he be not fair ?!
He know what's best for you !
Think about akhi and educate yourself in'schaa'allah to Happy Person and in'schaa'allah to an Happy Akhira

 

[azc]

If you don't respect 'yourself' none will respect you. Inferiority complex is ingrained in your heart, delete it. This world is full of colours. You've your own qualities as others have, polish and bring them forth. Concentrate on your study, make your career bright. Be strong to face all the challenges of life.

 

[greenhill]

Welcome to the forum.

First thing I would like to point out is that Allah Is Most Fair…. only we do not understand this because we cannot see how our lives will pan out so we must have trust in Allah.

I try to put it (in my own words) in order for me to make sense of the different challenges Allah has set out for each and everyone of us in this manner...

..There are several participants in a challenge and each has different strengths and weaknesses facing not the same challenges. Each will have a specially designed 'obstacles' to face in the challenge and the rewards for each challenge is different and is rewarded according to strength and weaknesses. So, for a person facing and easy challenge, he will get minimal rewards in comparison to the ones facing harder challenges.

So, for those really struggling with faith but keeps to the path however bad it would appear, cannot be the same as for those who have it easy. The reward in maintaining the faith would get higher rewards than for those who have it easy.

So, the harder the challenge, the greater the rewards, we just have to bear it with patience.

But on your other point, it is really hard to give advise as it is not easy to get the 'whole' picture of your predicament. Popularity is something very fickle, but the most important thing is to be able to live with clear conscience.. My own guideline when I was going through the growing pains and stuff (and not to lose myself in trying to gain acceptance) was 'think well, say well, do well'. Whether people like it or not, I could live with myself with most actions I took.

Slowly, over time, I became comfortable with who I am...

Wishing you a great stay.


eace:

 

[lostboy2389]

Welcome to the forum.

First thing I would like to point out is that Allah Is Most Fair…. only we do not understand this because we cannot see how our lives will pan out so we must have trust in Allah.

I try to put it (in my own words) in order for me to make sense of the different challenges Allah has set out for each and everyone of us in this manner...

..There are several participants in a challenge and each has different strengths and weaknesses facing not the same challenges. Each will have a specially designed 'obstacles' to face in the challenge and the rewards for each challenge is different and is rewarded according to strength and weaknesses. So, for a person facing and easy challenge, he will get minimal rewards in comparison to the ones facing harder challenges.

So, for those really struggling with faith but keeps to the path however bad it would appear, cannot be the same as for those who have it easy. The reward in maintaining the faith would get higher rewards than for those who have it easy.

So, the harder the challenge, the greater the rewards, we just have to bear it with patience.

But on your other point, it is really hard to give advise as it is not easy to get the 'whole' picture of your predicament. Popularity is something very fickle, but the most important thing is to be able to live with clear conscience.. My own guideline when I was going through the growing pains and stuff (and not to lose myself in trying to gain acceptance) was 'think well, say well, do well'. Whether people like it or not, I could live with myself with most actions I took.

Slowly, over time, I became comfortable with who I am...

Wishing you a great stay.


eace:

Yeah I understand that but Allah said that he wont challenge me more than I can bear and I am right about to take my life and still my life is a mess

 

[eesa the kiwi]

What's your Deen like bro?
Do you pray five times a day?

 

[lostboy2389]

What's your Deen like bro?
Do you pray five times a day?

Well, I used to

 

[sister herb]

Remember, when you are on the bottom, there is always one direction left: upward.

What if you would spend one day when you wouldn´t think about you or your own problems at all. Look around you in this world, seek those others whose too have troubles in they life and go to help them. This takes your thoughts away from yourself for a moment.

And one thing, I found this saying some years ago and of my mind, it´s well said:

Think how much energy and time you now put for thinking negative about yourself (that you are ugly, big headed guy with no friends and future). If you could turn your thinking to other direction and find out how good you actually are and put to it the same amount of energy and time (what you now put for negative thinking) - everything might looks like much brighter.

 

[lostboy2389]

Remember, when you are on the bottom, there is always one direction left: upward.

What if you would spend one day when you wouldn´t think about you or your own problems at all. Look around you in this world, seek those others whose too have troubles in they life and go to help them. This takes your thoughts away from yourself for a moment.

And one thing, I found this saying some years ago and of my mind, it´s well said:

Think how much energy and time you now put for thinking negative about yourself (that you are ugly, big headed guy with no friends and future). If you could turn your thinking to other direction and find out how good you actually are and put to it the same amount of energy and time (what you now put for negative thinking) - everything might looks like much brighter.

I really appreciate what you said sister and I am thankful that you took your time to write this, I really try hard to think positiv but as soon as I would go to somewhere, for example to School they call me (excuse me) D***head or condom head, if they dont do then the Mirror will remind me of how ugly I look
When I go to School I see muslims who commit the worst of the worst sins and yet they had only luck, they look good and they are popular, when I see such people I get really confused, they tell me we dont care, we commit sins and later when we grow we would go to Haj and all is forgetten

 

[Cptn._.Mario]

I think you meant forgiven in the last word. If they wronged you, their forgiveness is not only with Allah but also with you. You will also have to forgive them ultimately. Who knows, in the hereafter your sins maybe going to them and their good deeds might be coming to you. Remember, not a thorn from a flower pricks a person without Allah's command and Allah swt will expiate sins from the person for that small hurt. Just live your life, do your best. Things will fall into place in the future insha Allah

I really appreciate what you said sister and I am thankful that you took your time to write this, I really try hard to think positiv but as soon as I would go to somewhere, for example to School they call me (excuse me) D***head or condom head, if they dont do then the Mirror will remind me of how ugly I look
When I go to School I see muslims who commit the worst of the worst sins and yet they had only luck, they look good and they are popular, when I see such people I get really confused, they tell me we dont care, we commit sins and later when we grow we would go to Haj and all is forgetten

 

[ardianto]

I really try hard to think positiv but as soon as I would go to somewhere, for example to School they call me (excuse me) D***head or condom head,

Assalamualaikum, young brother.

There are people who like to insult other people. But actually not all people are like this. There are also humble and friendly people who can accept and be friend with the others.

I can understand if you are angry when some people in school insult you. But anger is not the good way to respond. It's same like as adding fuel on fire, because those people are provocative. If you angry, those people will happy and try to provoke you again. In another side, your anger also make the good people afraid and hesitate to accept you as a friend.

What you have to do is be patient when some people insult you. Hold your anger, and try to forgive them in your heart. I know it's hard. But this is the best thing you can do. If you can be patient in facing these insult, In Shaa Allah, people will see you in positive view. Then good people will not hesitate to be friend with you, and other people will stop insult you.

 

[sister herb]

Young brother;


Now your the biggest problems seems to be, not what you actually look like but you believe what those idiots say. Stop believing them.

You better stop believe what those people are sayings about what you look like. When they say nasty works about you, they don´t tell nothing about yourself but about themselves. Inside in their minds they are the most ugly people of the world. And throw the mirror out of the window. You don´t need it. Allah made you perfect and if anyone claims otherwise, he says only what his dirty mind includes.

 

[greenhill]

Yeah I understand that but Allah said that he wont challenge me more than I can bear and I am right about to take my life and still my life is a mess

Remember that life is not static. It never remains the same forever..10 years will arrive, in syaa Allah, but what will you be at that time? You would not be at the same place definitely, it could very well be a much better one, but that is something that has to be worked on, step by step and taking setbacks in stride and with patience.

eace:

 

[Zeal]

One thing that I realised in life is that if you stop thinking about all this rubbish and instead allow the rememberance of Allah to occupy your mind then things will be a lot better


And trust me bro your not the only one with these issues pretty people have those issues too just look up some stories on anorexia. Life, all becomes a competition and that's just too stressful for any of us to handle; you need to let go of these negative thoughts iA

May Allah make it easier for you

 

[AhmadDawahXD]

Well, I used to

Akhi, that's the problem
Start to pray again, akhi
It is a great sin similar to ''Shirk''.
Because you believe that there is creator and you already know what he has ordered you.
That is putting someone beside Allah, akkh. Fear God akhi.
Not praying won't do anything better.
Prayer is a conversation to your Lord (s.w.t).
It will fill your heart full of love and patience.
Akhi, the people out here are planning, but Allah is also planning.
Be patient and wait for what Allah will give you, in'schaa'allah.
There is nothing greater than him.
No human being is able to do everything on their own.
And akhi you're trying to to do everything on you own.
Have faith in Allah and make Duaa he loves the ones who ask him .
In'schaa'allah

 

[eesa the kiwi]

Well, I used to

There's your problem right there

Fix that and inshaAllah a large part of your problems are gone

 

[Alpha Dude]

Allah has made life difficult for many of his servants. Your value in the sight of Allah will be immense if you take this hard ship and say Alhamdulilah to it. I.e. even though you are suffering so much, you still are content with what Allah has given you.

Remember, this life is a test. We are here for a very short time. Once we die, we will realise that the time we were here was only part of a day in comparison to the real time line of the hereafter. It's absolute futile to throw away your akirah for a short time of suffering in this life. People who commit suicide are punished in hell forever. Why would you do that as a believing Muslim?

No, you need to be stronger brother. Try your best to pray all your salah, stay in a constant state of wudhu and each night sit down in a quiet place, pray two rakah nafil salah and then make a long dua to Allah from the bottom of your heart telling him of all your problems and asking him to guide you in life and protect you from all harms always. Do this every night for the rest of your life.

When I go to School I see muslims who commit the worst of the worst sins and yet they had only luck, they look good and they are popular, when I see such people I get really confused, they tell me we dont care, we commit sins and later when we grow we would go to Haj and all is forgetten

These people are deluded. Mere outward actions will not take us to Jannah. Our hearts need to be pure and clean. If these people continue down the path they are going, their hearts will become more and more polluted. If they don't change their mentality now, they will reach old age, perform hajj and think all is forgiven - but there will be no value in their hajj due to the darkness in their hearts. Also, they could die before they get a chance to repent.

 

[Umm Malik]

from two days before I was in the cemetery,I look how life going on and how we are so busy of our real goal in this life .
When I was looking in some Graves and how it written born at :... and die at ... I tell my self that this short life don't deserve to spend in sadness and sorrow , in being unhappy and complaining
It's short if we look how we lived and we just feel the station which we are in right now ... rather if it good or bad
If you try to see how lucky you are
That you can speak see and hear and there are a lot of people who which the things you don't even see them as a favor
There are a people who wish to can move them body or them hands just* to help* themselves
You may say they are also not happy
I will tell you no
On the contrary they are more happy than the heal people them selves
They are also have a dreams in life and have wishes
But the things which make them happy even all those things is because they know the realty of this Dunya
Ask any one what you don't have ??
They can write to you a list of wishes
And a lot of needs
You know why ?
Because we aren't yet in jannah
We shall have some fun and some troubles sometimes we cry and sometimes we smile ... sometimes we going through hardship to be patient and to have experience in life and other times it will be ease to know how Allah is near and how he reward the ease after being patient in Dunya and in the akhirah
Do believe that as long as you complain and seeing the things bad you will not appreciate what you have* and you won't know what you have or what you need to do exactly
And your life get worse
Do you think Allah will left you after the good things you did ???
Do you think that Allah want to hurt you or to just put you in hardship
Sometimes hardship give us experience sometimes it shows us the nature of each person
Sometimes it led us to know a very great people who are good in every station
You may not have them yet because you are still in preparation
Allah want you to be better even if the price is some tears or some hard time and difficulty
And make sure as the long time of hardship you spend before and you still in till now
When it comes relief
As you patient you will be in ease inshallah
And Because allah knows how to treat every one and the key of each heart
Read surat yousef and how the prophet yousef suffer
And how Allah prepared him to be the one who take the responsibility of the most important thing in Egypt
And look how his father was patient and how he trust on Allah even his eyes blind from sadness and he said after his children telling him about the other brother Binyamin he said: Maybe Allah will bring them (back) all to me (in the end). For He is indeed full of knowledge and wisdom."

You did tells us about the girl which loved you and you left her for the sake of Allah
Do know that as you left her for Allah he will reward you in the future the best
And you will remember that in every situation
Allah have a beautiful name which is the grateful "assakur" in Arabic
So if you do good he will grant you more and more
But it just a period and it will be change if you promise yourself to began your life by appreciate every small things
Even just one thing a day but keep on saying alhamdulillah for it
After that you will be have more and more and you will not be able to be thankful for all the favors you will have inshallah
You know shaytan know how everyone think and he stick in every different person as the way he thinks
But if you be always remembering Allah and saying "aoudou billahi minna shaytani rajeem"
Once you have this kind of thinking
And keep on saying istighfar
You will be a different parson inshallah
Life is short
So why you want to end it
You don't need to choose the bad way
While you can choose to live it even just to cross into jannah if this life look impossible in your eyes and this is from shaytan he want you to think like this to lose the meaning of life and as long as you do so, the first thing you will think about is to and your life "
So look how shaytan found a way to let you try to Sach a hag sin while you left a sin which is hard for a lot of people
You did destroy him by being a good Muslim but he promised to led you to another kind of sin by let you forget the meaning of our lives which is to worship Allah and also to live a good life and it can be and for sure because Allah has promised
Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.
And we also know that Dunya it's not our real home
It's a temporary
And everything will be ended one day rather it good or bad life
We all will wear the same pace of clothes and we all being on the same place
But when we meet Allah will forget everything
And hearafter is the best for the one who knows
In the Hadith, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, has said: "verily, whoever takes the Hereafter as is his concern, Allah makes his richness in his heart and reunites him and this worldly life will come to him forced. And whoever has this worldly life as is his concern, Allah makes his poverty between his eyes and disperses him and he will not gain from this worldly life but only what is destined for him." [Al-Albani, authentic due to other narrations].
And for those who make fan of you ....
Let them and don't care about them and when start saying those things began to say :subhana lahi WA bihamdih
Because Allah tell the prophet the same thing
He had all that joke just because he want the good for us .. yet he was patient for you to be a Muslim and you have to do the same
فَاصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا يَقُولُونَ وَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ قَبْلَ طُلُوعِ الشَّمْسِ وَقَبْلَ الْغُرُوبِ (39) Bear, then, with patience, all that they say, and celebrate the praises of thy Lord, before the rising of the sun and before (its) setting.
وَمِنَ اللَّيْلِ فَسَبِّحْهُ وَأَدْبَارَ السُّجُودِ (40) And during part of the night, (also,) celebrate His praises, and (so likewise) after the postures of adoration.
Allah advice the prophet to say subhallahi WA bihamdih in every verse which speak about his tightening of his chest when the people of makkah saying a bad things and how they disbelieve in Allah
(97) We do indeed know how thy heart is distressed at what they say.
فَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ وَكُن مِّنَ السَّاجِدِينَ (98) But celebrate the praises of thy Lord, and be of those who prostrate themselves in adoration.
وَاعْبُدْ رَبَّكَ حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَكَ الْيَقِينُ (99) And serve thy Lord until there come unto thee the Hour that is Certain.
15:97/98/99
So be patient over what they say and exalt [ Allah ] with praise of your Lord before the rising of the sun and before its setting; and during periods of the night [exalt Him] and at the ends of the day, that you may be satisfied.
And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.
And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein. We ask you not for provision; We provide for you, and the [best] outcome is for [those of] righteousness.
And they say, “Why does he not bring us a sign from his Lord?” Has there not come to them evidence of what was in the former scriptures?
And if We had destroyed them with a punishment before him, they would have said, “Our Lord, why did You not send to us a messenger so we could have followed Your verses before we were humiliated and disgraced?”
Say, “Each [of us] is waiting; so wait. For you will know who are the companions of the sound path and who is guided.”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=re-irFU21Ps
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=izYGT8vzfGE
I hope this can remind you that you have a lot to be grateful for
And you as a believer should know that even the ones they looks as they have everything are in need
And this life not eternal to fear about its pain
Every enjoyment will ended by death
And every hardship will ended also by death
And the reality which all believe in is death
Do your best and Allah will help you for sure
And he will make everything easy for you

 

[talibilm]

Such feeling is denying Allah is adil, the attribute of Allah and that will lead to shirk . similarly thinking Allah will not forgive us is a trait of Shirk. This world is aTest for everyone

47:31 '' And We will surely test you until We make evident those who strive among you [for the cause of Allah ] and the patient, and We will test your affairs.''