Fiqh and Psychology: Compartmentalisation

[Insignificant]

Verily, all praise is due to Allaah. It is due to Him, and to Him alone. We praise Him and we seek His help and forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allaah from the evil of our own selves and from the evil of our actions. And whomsoever Allaah guides, there is none to misguide him, and whomsoever Allaah leads astray none can guide him aright. I testify that there is no god worthy of worship except Allaah, alone with no partner, and I testify that Muhammad (SAWS) is His slave and messenger.

Salaamu aleikum brothers and sisters

I have a (rather long winded) question or two, to ask of you inshallah.

I have such an overwhelmingly strong and positive reaction to the Truth and His deen al-Islam that sometimes I struggle to compartmentalise it correctly.

Alhamdulillah I have managed to eliminate (for now - hopefully for good) many dunya related distractions from my personal life - music for example - despite finding myself in environments where I'm exposed to them (part of the challenge, I suspect).

In any case; despite having knowledge of some of the blessings that I have in my life, I find an overwhelming response (specifically to Muslims) when a person, not only habitually but with knowledge about the truth of their actions, commits actions that are the polar opposite of what Allah subhano wa Ta'ala has instructed.

I can reconcile, or deal with, strangers. Its the brothers and/or sisters that are immediate family, or as close as, that I'm asking for.

My questions are

- What is the psychological process to overcome a statement from a born Muslim who responds to an Islamic reminder with "Who are you, do you know Arabic? keep it for yourself"

- How do I tell family (one specifically who is married to a Muslim) that I've noticed there are actions and situations that should potentially be corrected inshallah. Like a female who has changed her surname to her husbands surname.

- With the blessed knowledge that I have; a) am I obligated to give the message
b) was the born Muslim correct in his appraisal - "keep Islam for yourself"
c) if the born Muslim was not correct, apart from choosing which company I keep, If I love for my brother what I love for myself, how do I tell them? Provided option "a" has any truth to it?

If part (a) is not correct how is that Muslims can compartmentalise being in scenarios that a rife with sin?

I trust that, as usual, the Truth is very plain. I may have answered my own questions. Perhaps this is more of an experiment as to how to channel/vent my frustrations, with people who believe what I believe, and still maintain some kind of dignity and respect towards myself and the knowledge I was blessed with.

Alhamdulillah wa shukrulillah wallahu alem. Anything good is from Allah subhano wa Ta'ala, anything bad is from me - please forgive me.

May Allah forgive me if I've said/written anything incorrect.

Any advice is sincerely appreciated. Jazakumallahu khair.

 

[noraina]

Wa alaykum assalam,

Bro, in terms of giving advise to others, there are etiquettes which the one giving must follow of course, but also the one receiving it.

Sometimes it is the person providing guidance can do it harshly, or perhaps say what they've seen publicly rather than privately. On the other hand, and I find this equally annoying, when you give advice gently, then the other person becomes very defensive and starts saying things like 'Only Allah swt can judge me, you don't know what's in my heart!' :hmm:

As Muslims, it is our duty to correct a wrong if we see it, and we should do so in a gentle and understanding manner, better still if we don't directly address them but somehow bring the message across. We should make sure ourselves we are acting upon that advice, and we are not jumping to conclusions or making unfair judgements, before giving it.

And ultimately it is up to the person whether they listen or not. Faith is somewhat personal, between the individual and Allah swt. And if they give you the statement 'keep it to yourself', then just leave it. It isn't worth getting into an argument when they wouldn't be willing to listen. Just pray in your duas that Allah swt guides us all and allows us all to worship and obey Him in a perfect way.

That specific example you provided, of taking your husband's name after marriage, I believe it is a cultural thing, and whilst it may not be particularly recommended, I don't think it is haraam (at least I don't think it is, someone correct me if I'm wrong).

You have answered your own question Where it is needed, of course one must advise their brothers and sisters in Islam in a loving way, but after that it is a personal decision between them and Allah swt. So just let it be, it may be that later on they remember what you said and then take heed of it, life is a long journey in which everyone is at different stages or on different paths, so sometimes differences are expected.

Allahu alam, that is what I think. May Allah swt forgive me if I've said anything wrong.

 

[Insignificant]

Baraakallahu feek Noraina. Thank you for responding.

I'd like to expand, if I may. I recall reading another post elsewhere on IB where another brother was suffering from those around him.

In a situation where, specifically, our personal wellbeing, and potentially our standing with Allah (swt), hinges on whether our audience responds to the "Taqilah" style advice, can anyone suggest what effors can be made (whilst fearing Allah, swt, ourselves) to remove ourselves from the persuasive language that Muslims are gifted with?

I find this to be MOST challenging, when dealing with others.