First time visiting mosque

[dazedsky]

first visit to a mosque. It was a rather uncomfortable experience. The prayer hall for men is separate in this particular mosque, and the women's prayer room (where I wanted to go), was locked, with a chain. I was waiting for over 1 hour in the rain outside, while the men comfortably sat inside their large hall. Is there anyone else who has experiences similar to this? I received help from not a single person. I knocked on the door of the men's prayer hall, the door was opened, and immediately shut once the person inside saw I was a woman presumably.


I've been reflecting upon this experience and others, and it occurs to me that I entered into Islam believing that I had found a religion which dignified and validated my existence as a human being. I continue to believe as Jafar ibn Abi Talib said to an-Najashi, that we were a humiliated people before our Islam and within Islam we found our dignity and honor in rejecting false idols and in worshipping God alone.

 

[Search]

:bism:



Hi, sis, welcome to the board!

Sorry, sis, about the experience you had. Reason for your unique experience may be rooted in that mosque's cultural orientation or maybe there's a lack of substantial local Muslim female population interested in making their prayers there? Don't know, sis, but I sympathize with you.

Also, sis, please do not feel bad on a personal level and instead see this as God's call to perhaps make a positive change. Maybe you can talk with the mosque's Imam and have him agree to let you observe your prayers there and also find other local women to join you.

Yes, see, sis, I love Islam. However, Muslims, on the other hand, if you judge your experience in interactions with them alone, might lead you to feel disappointed and disillusioned. Therefore, I'd say simply love Allah SWT and keep your expectations of all human beings almost nonexistent so that if they do less than typically one would expect they do not disappoint you and if they do more than typically expected that you appreciate them.

That's my humble advice. In-sha-Allah, take heart, sis, and know that every millisecond that you spent in the rain expecting relief is every millisecond for which Allah SWT rewarded you as your intention was pure and decent and for His SWT sake. So, again, do not set your sights on people but instead set your sights again on Allah SWT.

Take care.

Barkallah feek.

:wa:

first visit to a mosque. It was a rather uncomfortable experience. The prayer hall for men is separate in this particular mosque, and the women's prayer room (where I wanted to go), was locked, with a chain. I was waiting for over 1 hour in the rain outside, while the men comfortably sat inside their large hall. Is there anyone else who has experiences similar to this? I received help from not a single person. I knocked on the door of the men's prayer hall, the door was opened, and immediately shut once the person inside saw I was a woman presumably.


I've been reflecting upon this experience and others, and it occurs to me that I entered into Islam believing that I had found a religion which dignified and validated my existence as a human being. I continue to believe as Jafar ibn Abi Talib said to an-Najashi, that we were a humiliated people before our Islam and within Islam we found our dignity and honor in rejecting false idols and in worshipping God alone.

 

[M.I.A.]

...next time... Bring an umbrella. No I'm kidding. Sorry.

One room closed, the rest of the world open.

Seems like you would have been praying on your own anyway..

Unless O_O

No but seriously, maybe you should establish Congregational prayer at home..

Or promote such an activity next time you encounter another Muslim lady.

When the space no longer fits the need then you should already be prepared to ask the mosque for space it is not using.

Sooner or later on your expansive journey you will probably meet someone who knows someone who attends the mosque.

And by proxy can raise awareness in the male mosque community.

This is the path of least resistance and most benefit that I thought of..

And one that would give you a solid argument if you ever presented your case.

Otherwise you could just bring an umbrella and stand near a window....

Sorry.

No I'm kidding, ultimately we are either made or undone by our own hands.

Although I'm not the one to tell you which.

 

[dazedsky]

Today was my first visit*.
Thank you guys so much for replying.

search, your advice really helped me. May Allah subhana tāla bless you and the ummah. Thank you so much.

 

[MuslimInshallah]

your unique experience

Assalaamu alaikum Search, Dazed,


Mmm... I wish it were not so, but this exclusion of women from the masaajid is unfortunately not a unique experience. (sigh) In various forms, it's pretty common, in my experience. It's also my experience that women need to insist on their rights to the mosques. Waiting and hoping for change doesn't work. Being assertive and insisting on your rights and can slowly cause changes.

(smile) Dazed, you are right: Islam affirms your dignity. But dignity is something within us, Given to us by our Creator and cannot be taken from us, though others may try to humiliate us. In the end, it is only our own selves who can humiliate us.

(gently) Standing for an hour in the rain waiting for someone to treat you with respect is not, in my opinion, dignified. (gently) You gave your self-worth to another, you waited for another's approval. In it's own way, this is an idol...

Imagine instead that you looked around as best you could, found everything was locked, and went immediately to the men's section and rapped confidently on the door. When a man came, you could firmly tell him that the women's section was closed, and what could be done about this? Could someone open it? Could you pray behind the brothers (as it was done in the times of the Prophets (SAWS))?. If he rudely slammed the door in your face, you could have rapped again. If no one answered after a reasonable delay, then you could have left immediately, knowing that there was no one of character inside who was worth your time.

(smile) This would have maintained your dignity, would it not? (smile) And certainly you would have been less wet and cold and at risk for catching a cold or worse!

But this time is past. (twinkle) It is so easy to think of better avenues of reaction to the ones we take while in the thick of action! So don't beat yourself up. But perhaps you could look into what you want as your next step. Are there perhaps other masaajid close to you that you could go to? Do you perhaps have the time and strength to fight this battle for your sisters and brothers in Islam, and work to open this mosque to be more respectful towards women (it isn't easy)? Or perhaps, do you want to avoid mosques completely, and look for Muslims to connect with outside of the present mosque structure... and maybe build your own community over time? Or...

(smile) Whatever you choose, my dear, please always remember that your dignity lies in Pleasing God. No one else. (glow) And that Allah Loves those who seek Him, and Him alone.


May Allah, the Giver of Honour and of Dishonour, Strengthen you with His Light.

 

[M.I.A.]

To be fair its probably better to stand in the rain for it than to lose your house to it...

My ignorance Proceeds me.

 

[MuslimahRo]

Salam, sister. Sorry you had such a bad experience. The masajid I usually go to have entire floors or sections for females. Outside of Ramadan, Jumah and the two Eids, there aren't too many females in those two masajid. However, the spaces are open for women. In my last neighborhood, there were two small masajid and they hardly had room for guys, much less for females. I hardly ever went to a masjid then. I guess I lost out.
I once went to another masjid and the door to the women's room wouldn't open. I went back upstairs and a brother came to help me. He couldn't open the door either. Finally, the door opened. Turns out a homeless revert sister from out of state had locked herself in! Before it was shut down, the small masjid in my neighborhood had a separate room for sisters. I only went there a handful of times and I was always the only female, except once when I think I took my mother. Despite the lack of females, the room was always there for sisters. Once when I got there late for Jumah, all the brothers in the women's room got out without a word to give me the entire room to pray in. I was touched and felt they were very respectful. May Allah bless them. I hope you talk to some people online and find a good masjid you can go to and in which you can have an enjoyable experience!

 

[MuslimahRo]

Sometimes, going to an Islamic Center or Meetup first can help you learn about good masajid in the area. That's how I found out about one of my masajid.

 

[Olivia J]

Assalamu Alaikum

i'm sorry to hear about your first visit to a mosque i hope the future visits will be better