Following local customs – That is the Sunnah

[Malaikah]

Question: Some people in my country say that we should try to live and dress like the people at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and not adhere to our social customs that were not in existence during the time of the Companions. They often cite the customs and traditions that we have relating to marriage festivities and family get-togethers as things we should abandon, even though those customs contain nothing sinful. They argue that we should abandon all the customs and traditions of our society that are not found in the example of our Pious Predecessors. Is this attitude correct?

Answered by Sheikh `Umar al-Muqbil, professor at al-Imâm University

The default ruling in Islamic Law regarding the customs and traditions of society is that they are lawful and permissible – as long as they do not in any way contradict the teachings of Islam established by the sacred texts.

Keep in mind that we are talking here about societal customs, not matters of worship and devotion.

Respecting customs is indeed the Sunnah regarding customs. We are supposed to respect the norms and traditions of the society in which we live or in which we find ourselves, as long as those norms and traditions do not violate Islamic teachings.

A society’s norms of dress provide us with an excellent example. We are not supposed to dress in a manner that people regard as strange in order to dress like the people of Arabia at the time of the Companions. Doing something like that goes against the very practice of the Companions.

When Islam spread beyond the borders of Arabia, they never called the people to dress like the inhabitants of the Hijaz region. They left each people to their own manner of dress.

The reason the Companions did not command the people who entered into Islam to change their style of dress is because norms of dress are regulated by custom and culture, and the only requirement is that the norms of dress should comply with the broad dictates of Islamic law – for instance, the dictates of modesty.

The same applies to social customs, like those relating to wedding traditions and wedding receptions. Each society has its own norms and customs about such matters, and these should be respected as long as they do not violate Islamic mores and Islamic teachings.

And Allah knows best.​

http://islamtoday.com/show_detail_section.cfm?q_id=1206&main_cat_id=16

 

[Malaikah]

I just thought it would be worth highlighting this part here:

We are supposed to respect the norms and traditions of the society in which we live or in which we find ourselves, as long as those norms and traditions do not violate Islamic teachings.

Just in case someone tries to take it the wrong way...

 

[Al-Zaara]

Aleykum selam,

That was an very interesting read, jazakAllah khair sister Malaikah.

I was wondering, I know non of us are scholars, but maybe someone has the answer (with daleel).. I my country, it is not acceptable for cousins to marry, I'm mostly reffering here to 1st and 2nd cousins. But also cousins in general, close or far. The society would hate you, your families would split etc... Great fitnah would be caused, even though it's in the Shariah allowed.

What do the scholars say about this issue? Is it still acceptable for me to marry my cousin, even though it is not in our local customs? Or should I strictly refrain?


I feel those may be too hard questions, I just couldn't help ask it anyways. Bi'idhnillah I will ask scholars about this.

Selam aleykum.

 

[syilla]

:salamext:

I think the important thing is to follow quran and sunnah. If islam says you can marry, then you can...regardless the custom.

 

[north_malaysian]

Re: Following local customs – That is the Sunnah

whoa.. usually people don want to be marrried with their cousins.....

But if a person want to be married with his/her cousin voluntarily, I dont think it's against Islam.

 

[E'jaazi]

Question: Some people in my country say that we should try to live and dress like the people at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and not adhere to our social customs that were not in existence during the time of the Companions. They often cite the customs and traditions that we have relating to marriage festivities and family get-togethers as things we should abandon, even though those customs contain nothing sinful. They argue that we should abandon all the customs and traditions of our society that are not found in the example of our Pious Predecessors. Is this attitude correct?

Answered by Sheikh `Umar al-Muqbil, professor at al-Imâm University

The default ruling in Islamic Law regarding the customs and traditions of society is that they are lawful and permissible – as long as they do not in any way contradict the teachings of Islam established by the sacred texts.

Keep in mind that we are talking here about societal customs, not matters of worship and devotion.

Respecting customs is indeed the Sunnah regarding customs. We are supposed to respect the norms and traditions of the society in which we live or in which we find ourselves, as long as those norms and traditions do not violate Islamic teachings.

A society’s norms of dress provide us with an excellent example. We are not supposed to dress in a manner that people regard as strange in order to dress like the people of Arabia at the time of the Companions. Doing something like that goes against the very practice of the Companions.

When Islam spread beyond the borders of Arabia, they never called the people to dress like the inhabitants of the Hijaz region. They left each people to their own manner of dress.

The reason the Companions did not command the people who entered into Islam to change their style of dress is because norms of dress are regulated by custom and culture, and the only requirement is that the norms of dress should comply with the broad dictates of Islamic law – for instance, the dictates of modesty.

The same applies to social customs, like those relating to wedding traditions and wedding receptions. Each society has its own norms and customs about such matters, and these should be respected as long as they do not violate Islamic mores and Islamic teachings.

And Allah knows best.​

http://islamtoday.com/show_detail_section.cfm?q_id=1206&main_cat_id=16

It is better to follow the Sunnah, because we are also told to be different from the disbelievers.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

it is halal to marry any non-mahram, and it is clearly established that first-second cousins are non-mahrams therefore they are lawful for you.



sis malaaikah i enjoyed the read, jizakAllah khair

 

[Malaikah]

I feel those may be too hard questions, I just couldn't help ask it anyways. Bi'idhnillah I will ask scholars about this.

From a reality point of view, I would suggest that it should not be done... seems like asking for trouble. But I can't tell you what the Islamic ruling is.

It is better to follow the Sunnah, because we are also told to be different from the disbelievers.

Did you actually read the article? Your post is completely irrelevant. Culture and the sunnah are have nothing to do with each other in many matters, for many things that are culturally determined, there is no sunnah.

 

[Caller الداعي]

id just like to mention that the prophet peace be upon him married his cousin:
ZAYNAB BINT JAHSH: She was the daughter of Prophet Muhammad's aunt, Omameh Bint Abud Almutaleb. The Prophet arranged for Zaynab to marry Zayed Ibn Hareathah Al Kalby. This marriage did not last and the Prophet received a verse in the Quran which stated that if they became divorced, then the Prophet must marry Zaynab (Sura 33:37).

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

From a reality point of view, I would suggest that it should not be done... seems like asking for trouble. But I can't tell you what the Islamic ruling is.

i know plenty of cousin couples who are extremely happy, and at the same time i know couples who have broken.

Like every other marriage it depends on the couple, and the islamic perspective is that it is absolutely lawful.

 

[Malaikah]

IbnAbdulHakim, that is kinda irrelevant, unless you can confirm that the couples also had to put up with:

The society would hate you, your families would split etc

I know many cousins who are happily married too, but that is not the issue, the issue here is the reaction of the rest of the world (not your spouse), and whether it is worth it and you can put up with it.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ forgive me, i completely forgot that you are talking about sis al-zaara's situation only, my mind was telling me your talking about marrying cousins in general.


yet again i looked like quite the fool

 

[Al-Zaara]

From a reality point of view, I would suggest that it should not be done... seems like asking for trouble. But I can't tell you what the Islamic ruling is.

My thoughts also.

Did you actually read the article? Your post is completely irrelevant. Culture and the sunnah are have nothing to do with each other in many matters, for many things that are culturally determined, there is no sunnah.

Yes I read it. That's what I'm kinda thinking to see if I understood the article correctly, sister please bear with me, hvae sabr with my stupidity :-[...

If my cultural things don't go against the Sunnah (which is also much based on Arabic -before Islamic time - culture) then even though we cannot completely permit a thing, which in the Sunnah is completely permitted, it isn't really bad/ a sin if it's not so the case in my culture?

Another question: Does that (bolded part) then mean culture is not as important as Sunnah? YES, it is I know... But the Sunnah of the Prophet (salallahu aleyhi waselam) is also based because of his Arabic culture, which then isn't my culture... I'm not really sure what I'm asking. :-[

Sorry for ruining your thread sis..

whoa.. usually people don want to be marrried with their cousins.....

But if a person want to be married with his/her cousin voluntarily, I dont think it's against Islam.

loq. I see nothing wrong with cousins marrying, but this was a question I've wondered over a time... I know it's not against Islamic rulings, but it would 'cause fitnah which is against Islam... Right? :-\

 

[Malaikah]

Yes I read it. That's what I'm kinda thinking to see if I understood the article correctly, sister please bear with me, hvae sabr with my stupidity :-[...

Sis that wasn't addressed to you! ;D
No need to apologise!:thumbs_up

 

[Md Mashud]

Hang on, so we should avoid things that Islam allows (like marrying 1st cousins) - because we live in a non-muslim country and that we should please them by following their customs?

Hmm, that is indeed quite insightful...

As for the clothing part, well thats somthing very different then what It seems to be, but jazakallah for the read.

Ok I read it a few more times and talked with some people, and I disagree with the article atm..

You can't say its WRONG to do somthing that Islam allows to please kaafirs, I just can't accept that without backing.

Answered by Sheikh `Umar al-Muqbil, professor at al-Imâm University

N/C.

 

[Al-Zaara]

Hang on, so we should avoid things that Islam allows (like marrying 1st cousins) - because we live in a non-muslim country and that we should please them by following their customs?

No no, I'm talking about for instance Kosovo (my homecountry) we've been Muslims for centuries, but marrying cousins has never been a custom in the culture and it wasn't pracitcised even after Islam came... That's what I meant, if it's better for me (for example) to follow the old customs and avoid great fitnah or should I still insist on marrying? I wondered what would be ,ore appropriate Islamically. lol I know, hard question, never mind, I must certainly ask a scholar.

:skeleton: Sorry for going off-topic! (if a mod in here wants to, he/she could move my posts and start a new thread)

Selam aleykum.

 

[syilla]

:salamext:

ukhtee al-zaraaa.... i found this

Title
Islamic View on Marrying Cousins

Question
What is Islam's position on marriages between cousins? I ask you this question because of the growing controversy that such marriages are not healthy and are very likely to cause serious birth defects in the offspring. Please answer this question in the light of the Holy Qur'an and the Sunnah. I would also like if you could give your own opinion on this subject matter keeping in mind the health risks posed by such marriages. Thank You.

Date
02/Jan/2003

Name of Counsellor
Group of Muftis

Topic
Marriage

Answer



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.


In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.


All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

Answering the question in point, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:

"Marriages between first cousins are allowed in Islam. In surat an-Nisa' (4:22-24), Allah mentioned the women who are forbidden for marriage and then He said, "… Lawful to you are all beyond those mentioned, so that you may seek them with your wealth in honest wedlock…" In surat al-Ahzab (33:50), Allah mentioned to the Prophet that he may marry the daughters of his uncles and aunts from the father's side or the mother's side. It is the consensus of the jurists that this permission was not only for the Prophet, but it is also a permission for other believers. Muslims have practiced marriages between first cousins in all countries since the time of the Prophet.

Such marriages are allowed in many other religions and cultures as well. In United States, most of the states allow marriages between the first cousins. There is nothing wrong in this marriage.

However, it is a good practice to have a blood test before marriage. If one suspects some hereditary disease or any other problem then he/she should seek the advice of a medical expert in this field. The chances of health risk in this marriage are very rare. Most of the marriages have been good and children quite healthy."

Excerpted, with slight modifications from: http://pakistanlink.com/religion.html

Elaborating on this issue, we'd like to cite the fatwa issued by Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author. He states:

"There is no objection whatsoever in the Islamic religion for a man to marry any of his relatives except those forbidden for marriage whom Allah mentioned in surat an-Nisaa' (4: 23) Thus, when Allah mentioned for us the relatives to whom marriage is forbidden, we then come to know that there is no objection for the remainder of the family relations.

Among the most prominent evidence of this fact is that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married his daughter Fatimah to `Ali (may Allah be pleased with them) and he is the son of her father's uncle, as well as the marriage of the Prophet himself to Zaynab bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her) and she is his aunt's daughter (i.e. his cousin); and there are many other such examples.

However, a different question may be asked, namely: "Is it better or preferable for a Muslim to marry someone he is not related to rather than a relative?"

The answer to this question varies from case to case, and perhaps it may be preferable to marry people who are non-relations, for example if one aspires to form new social ties or bonds, and regards the existence of a marriage relationship with a different family as constructive in widening the circle of social bonds." (Source: www.islam-qa.com)

Elaborating on the issue whether it is preferable not to marry close cousins, we’d like to cite for you the following fatwa:

“Islam permits marriage between first cousins. If we read the Qur'anic verses which enumerate women to whom a Muslim cannot be married, you will find that this list does not include cousins.

The Islamic view is that while marriage between cousins is permissible, it is preferable to choose a marriage partner from outside one's family. We have to distinguish between what is permitted and what is advocated. Some clans restrict marriages to amongst their kin only – a practice far from what is advocated. It is worth stressing here that when marriage of cousins is repeated over several generations, they are bound to have more effects on children.

By permitting such marriages Islam does not encourage them. It advocates the cementing of social relations through marriages between totally unrelated families.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) once told one of his Companions to choose a wife from a tribe different to his, and then to choose for his son a wife from a third tribe, and to seek for his second son a girl from yet another tribe.

Preferring this course of action, Islam nevertheless permits marriage between cousins because it meets a social need.”

Excerpted, with modifications, from: www.islamicity.com

In conclusion, it is clear that Islam, undoubtedly, permits marrying cousins. As for the issue of preferring to choose a marriage partner from outside one's family, this varies from one case to another. Yet, Islam is generally keen to widen the circle of social bonds. As for the fear of hereditary diseases, it is a good practice to have a blood test before marriage. If one suspects some hereditary disease or any other problem then he/she should seek the advice of a medical expert in this field.

May Allah guide you to the straight path and direct you to that which pleases Him, Ameen.


Allah Almighty knows best.

source

 

[syilla]

:salamext:

hmm.... i don't think the issue now is about marrying against the custom or tradition but somehow marrying without the blessing of the parents.

wassallam

 

[syilla]

Title
My Parents Refuse the Person I Love: What to Do?

Question
Dear scholars, As-Salaam `Alaykum. I love a person and I wish to marry him. Although he is a Muslim, my parents do not consent to the marriage since we do not belong to the same culture or ethnic group. Will I be committing a sin if I were to defy my parents and go ahead and marry this person? Or do I simply forget the matter in the conviction that not all of our wishes can be fulfilled in this world, and it is only in Jannah that we will have complete and total fulfillment? Jazakum Allah khayran.


Answer


Wa`alykum As-Salaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

In his response to the question you posed, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

"In Islam, it is not a sin if you feel a special affinity or inclination towards a certain individual since human beings have no control on such natural inclinations. We are, however, definitely responsible and accountable if we get carried away by such feelings and take specific actions or steps that might be deemed as Haram (forbidden).

As far as male and female interaction is concerned, Islam dictates strict rules: It forbids all forms of ‘dating’ and isolating oneself with a member of the opposite sex, as well indiscriminate mingling and mixing.

If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered Haram. In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “That would enhance/foster the bonding.”

This permission notwithstanding, we are advised against getting carried away by merely the outward appearances of a person; these may be quite misleading. Marriage is a life-long partnership and a person’s real worth is determined not by his or her physical looks, but more so by the inner person or character. Hence, after having mentioned that people ordinarily look for beauty, wealth and family in a marriage partner, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, advised us to consider primarily “the religious or character factor” over and above all other considerations.

Further, Islam’s insistence on parental involvement in the selection process is to ensure that a person exercises his or her choice correctly. In other words, so parents can step in if there is a serious issue of compatibility.

Compatibility entails a person’s worth in a spiritual and moral sense: the only primary criterion that makes or breaks a marriage. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “If a person of acceptable religion and character presents himself for marriage, marry him, otherwise, there would be widespread sedition and rampant corruption in the land.”

Therefore, if you have made a choice based on the above consideration, then your parents have no right to stop your marriage. Since it is your choice to eat the food you wish to eat, likewise, it is your choice to decide whom you wish to choose as a life-long partner. They cannot stop you from marrying the person you want simply because the person is not sharing your culture or ethnic background.

Parents, however, have the authority to intervene should you choose someone of questionable moral and religious character. Should you proceed in such a case against their wishes, your marriage is deemed null and void according to the rules of Islamic jurisprudence.

If, however, your parents objection to your marriage is based purely on racial, cultural or ethnic grounds, you are allowed to seek other channels of authority to intervene in such a case, as long as the person of your choice is of acceptable religion and character. The concerned authority is supposed to get the parental consent to the marriage, but should they insist on their stand, the authority is sanctioned to authorize your marriage.

This last option should only be exercised after you have exhausted all endeavors to communicate with your parents, both individually and through other channels in the community such as elders or respectable leaders or Imams. It is more likely that parents are concerned about their children for genuine reasons, and that once things are explained to them, they will probably, relent.

As regards the second part of your question - whether we are to expect only all of our dreams to be materialized in the next world - that is quite true. This world is not a place where we have consummate fulfillment and satisfaction in every sense of the word since it is of limited possibilities. Yet, when we strive diligently and sincerely to obey Allah and His Messenger Allah promises us good both in this world and hereafter."

Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islam.ca

source

 

[noorahmad]

assalam walaikum

What if it is not based on any racial ground? what if the parents disagree just because of the blood relation between the two lovers???