[anonymous]

I am seeing a girl, whom I like and I am planning to marry. Before drawing to any conclusions, I want to make clear that we hardly meet each other and we did not do any haram things, I did not even touch her, wallahii. Our parents know about this and in sha allah we will go ahead and marry.

Coming to point. I had a bad past, and I am ashamed of that. I repented and promised to Allah that I will not repeat that again. And the girl probably had her past too, she had a boyfriend in the past and after she realized that the boy was not good enough for her she decided to leave him. When she left him he tried to defame her. And she got in touch with another guy who happens to be my friend and he introduced her to me. We saw each other...and we both showed interest in each other. But I dont know why, but my friend (not friends with him anymore) told me things about her...about how they both interacted with each other in an unlawful way. He told me things which shattered me. But she denied every single thing. Also I know my friend is not trustworthy, and all those things he said to me might be just lies, who knows, I did not see that, nor he can bring witnesses. I dont want to believe him and forget those things which he told me. I believe even if she had did those things and if she repented to Allah, I should not have a problem, as I too had a past. But the human nature, I cannot forget those things easily...even if they were all lies. I want to forget all those things and start a happy marital life with her. Because I know she is just good for me, she is like my perfect bride. She just says that she was seeing a boy and when she realized she was mushrik, she left her. And since then she is asking for forgiveness.

Please advice. Sometimes when I remember those things which were told by my friend about her...I feel my legs numb and cold. I just want to forget those things...and move on because we both feel that we are like perfect match for each other and despite our pasts we now try to lead a good life pleasing Allah. And this is not a regular love story...:hmm:

 

[Amat Allah]

Wa Alikum Assalaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh

my respected and noble brother; you already said that he is not trustworthy so, why would ya think about such things ; tiring yourself having hard times for some uselss thoughts which have no proofs nor bases...??

I am not telling ya to blind yourself totaly; you need to ask about the one you will take as your other part for life but in good places and from trustworthy people in'shaa Allah...

and whatever decision you wanna make concerning whatever then it is better for ya to return to Allah praying Istikharah...after that there will be nothing but khayer; for you have returned to Allah...

and if you think that you can get rid of those thoughts; take that girl as a wife; respect her, honor her and be good to her just for Allah's sake then go a head and marry her but if you think that those thoughts will remain there driving you nuts then your life with her will be like hell and will not only harm and wrong yourself but her too...

I am advising ya to seek refuge with Allah from satan , pray istikharah and see what will happen and in'shaa Allah according that you will find the answer...

this is what I have to give my respected brother and I ask Allah The Most Merciful to ease all your affairs and grant ya the best of the best always and forever and make ya happy removing all your worries and concerns and also give ya the best match for ya whether her or someone else , bless you, make ya pleased and Be pleased with you and the whole Ummah too Ameeeen

take care of your precious self...

leaving ya under Allah's sight, care and protection...

Humbly and with all respect, your sister:

Amat Allah.

 

[Qurratul Ayn]

I am advising ya to seek refuge with Allah from satan , pray istikharah and see what will happen and in'shaa Allah according that you will find the answer...

Exactly.

Brother, don't let the negative things that has been said by your friend affect you. Friends do not do that which he has done and the fact that you know he is not trustworthy just shows it.

Coming to point. I had a bad past, and I am ashamed of that. I repented and promised to Allah that I will not repeat that again.

And since then she is asking for forgiveness.

and despite our pasts we now try to lead a good life pleasing Allah.

Both of you have realised y'all had bad pasts and are repenting to Allaah Ta'ala, then that is the most important thing. Seeking for forgiveness from Allaah Ta'ala.

Reading your post indicates you have strong wishes to marry the sister, then go ahead and do so. You may still have these thoughts but place your faith and trust in Allaah Ta'ala and He will always help.

Also you need to trust her and be strong in the trust that she has been honest to you, and now she is repenting too. With trust, honesty, understanding, commitment and compromise, Insha'Allaah y'all shall have a good marriage.

So marry the sister, repent always to Allaah Ta'ala and banish those negative thoughts

:salamext:

 

[anonymous]

Thank you sisters for the reply...

I have prayed Istikhara salah and I am inclined towards the decision of marrying this girl and I always pray to Allah that we both get married. There is no wrong intention in this relationship. Honestly now I dont consider that 'friend' of mine a friend. He is such a scum...and it hurts me that he said those things about this girl...defaming her.

Anyways I want to forget all those things...being a human it is not easy..it will take time before i forget all this. And I am not thinking of backing now. I want to marry this girl, that's why I made istikhara and praying to allah that I get this girl as my bride. How can i forget those things?

 

[Indian Bro]

As-salamu alaykum,

Brother, there are many things in life that we regret, these things are difficult to forget and we must accept it. The human brain is not like a computer where you can just permanently delete something like a memory. It is how we deal with these memories that define us. These "bad" things that we find difficult to forget must make us stronger Muslims and remind us of what we did before Allah (s.w.t.) guided us. It is through the guidance of Allah (s.w.t.) that you realize your mistake and it is only the will of Allah (s.w.t.) to forgive you for it. So all I can advise to you is to seek refuge in Allah (s.w.t.), pray for his forgiveness, pray for his guidance and inshAllah you will replace those bad memories with good memories.

Salam 3laikum

 

[Amat Allah]

For Allah's sake Akhi, seek refuge with Allah from satan , recite:
Surat An-Nas


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Say: "I seek refuge with (Allah) the Lord of mankind, (1)"The King of mankind, (2)"The Ilah (God) of mankind, (3)"From the evil of the whisperer (devil who whispers evil in the hearts of men) who withdraws (from his whispering in one's heart after one remembers Allah), (4)"Who whispers in the breasts of mankind, (5)"Of jinns and men." (6)"

make your tongue and mind busy with Allah's rememberance instead of thinking of those things...laa ilaha illa Allah.

if you are still thinking of those things told about her then you do not trust her and that is a great problem if you are really thinking of taking her as a wife ...