Funny Quotes

[Na7lah]

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones. - Mike Barfield

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein

Definition of confidence: Ignorance of the possibilities of failure. - Steven Scott

I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. - George Bush

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school. - Cokie Roberts

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobol

I invented the cordless extension cord. - Steven Wright

I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious. - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. - Steven Wright

There are only three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't. - A. Nonymous

What's on your mind, if you'll forgive the overstatement? - Fred Allen

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. - Groucho Marx

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me. - Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying. - Woody Allen

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there. - Yogi Berra

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river. - Cordel Hull


Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. - Albert Einstein

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. - William James

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. - Steven Wright

I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks -- I'm not going that far." - Steven Wright

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. - Ashleigh Brilliant

 

[Güven]

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobol

I invented the cordless extension cord. - Steven Wright


There are only three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't. - A. Nonymous

LoooooL these Were The Funniest ;D

 

[wildkat]

hehe, thanks for sharing

 

[Na7lah]

ur welcome

 

[Tilmeez]

Very nice! Mashallah

There are only three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't. - A. Nonymous

Love this one!!

 

[Souljette]

LOL Jazakallah khair for sharing

 

[islam786]

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me. - Woody Allen
this ones well funny lol...

 

[Zarmina]

Those were funny. I really like Pres. Bush quotes. Here are some more for those that like it too.

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"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." (Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000)

"We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers." (Houston,Texas, Sept. 6, 2000)

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." (Reuters, May 5, 2000)

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C.,is close to California." (In Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000)

"I understand small business growth. I was one" (New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000)

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case." (Pella, Iowa, as quoted by the San Antonio Express-News, Jan. 30, 2000)

 

[muslimah_online]

i need a lot of knowledge to laugh on this jokes. i could only understand some...
huhu..