Going through tough times...How to deal?
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I think she wants you out brother 
In Islam mother gets custody until child is 7 years old and then father gets custody
But I think the fathers custody is based on that a mum wouldn't have adequate means to support the child, but this doesn't apply in a welfare state as mother gets child benefits and also can claim support money from you, so it may be best to leave the child with mum until their adulthood as child is happiest with mum.
In Islam mother gets custody until child is 7 years old and then father gets custody
But I think the fathers custody is based on that a mum wouldn't have adequate means to support the child, but this doesn't apply in a welfare state as mother gets child benefits and also can claim support money from you, so it may be best to leave the child with mum until their adulthood as child is happiest with mum.
Just having constant issues. Always yelling and getting mad. At every little thing. Tried talking but doesnt help goes back to mad talking
Greetings and peace be with you Stoic,
Marriage has to be one of the hardest things we do in life. An imperfect man, marries an imperfect women, we have imperfect children and live in an imperfect world. It is incredibly tough to work with all this imperfection in life. I believe it will be harder on you if you split, it will tear you apart if you leave your wife and children. I have seen this in many men who have walked away.
I know the feeling, I can't remember how many blazing rows I have had with my wife over the years, I can't remember how many things she has thrown things at me, or how many times she has packed my suitcase and told me to go in the last thirty four years. I think she may have mellowed slightly in the last six months.
I can remember the time she first started to talk about having children, it was at that point I said, if we have children, we have to stick together no matter what may happen. I don't want my children to grow up without a mum and dad. I have learned to let my wife win most arguments, so when there is something I really want, I am in a better position to ask for it. Life is about sharing and caring, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I think you grow in strength when you learn to fight all battles with kindness. Try and find solutions where neither of you looses, rather than a solution that only one person can win. We have gone through so much rubbish in our married life, but I would not change her for any other woman, Things change in God's time.
May Allah bless you, your wife and children,
Eric
Marriage has to be one of the hardest things we do in life. An imperfect man, marries an imperfect women, we have imperfect children and live in an imperfect world. It is incredibly tough to work with all this imperfection in life. I believe it will be harder on you if you split, it will tear you apart if you leave your wife and children. I have seen this in many men who have walked away.
I know the feeling, I can't remember how many blazing rows I have had with my wife over the years, I can't remember how many things she has thrown things at me, or how many times she has packed my suitcase and told me to go in the last thirty four years. I think she may have mellowed slightly in the last six months.
I can remember the time she first started to talk about having children, it was at that point I said, if we have children, we have to stick together no matter what may happen. I don't want my children to grow up without a mum and dad. I have learned to let my wife win most arguments, so when there is something I really want, I am in a better position to ask for it. Life is about sharing and caring, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I think you grow in strength when you learn to fight all battles with kindness. Try and find solutions where neither of you looses, rather than a solution that only one person can win. We have gone through so much rubbish in our married life, but I would not change her for any other woman, Things change in God's time.
May Allah bless you, your wife and children,
Eric
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Brother, from her background and nature as you have told us about, she didn't seem mentally ill, therefore this constant arguing and getting angry at you over nothing could well be designed to make you leave. Her daughter has a hard time doing salah at your insistence and she does seem like the sort of woman who was probably just after another baby for benefits reason... And she's probably not compatible with you as you're very religious goody sort of guy....
Just ask her straight, 'do you want me to leave'? 'is that what this is all about'?
I hope I'm wrong and everything works out between you and her, but you need to find out her intentions
Just ask her straight, 'do you want me to leave'? 'is that what this is all about'?
I hope I'm wrong and everything works out between you and her, but you need to find out her intentions
Brother, I just thought of something very important
If it shouldn't work out and my hunch turns out to be right, then your child will be in danger of turning out like your step daughter if left with the mum
So to save his deen, then maybe you should think about taking your child with you by hook 'or by crook', I. E. Take child away with guile and covert moves...
When it comes to saving from hell and obeying the kuffar laws, saving takes priority bro :Emoji51:
If it shouldn't work out and my hunch turns out to be right, then your child will be in danger of turning out like your step daughter if left with the mum
So to save his deen, then maybe you should think about taking your child with you by hook 'or by crook', I. E. Take child away with guile and covert moves...
When it comes to saving from hell and obeying the kuffar laws, saving takes priority bro :Emoji51:
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Prophet Muhammad PBUH said:
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Allah says in the Quran:
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said:
I hope you find this post helpful.
:wa:
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said:
Prophet Muhammad PBUH also said:
To summarize, these hadiths mean that the nature of a man is different from that of a woman, the woman would appear strange or different to him whereas in reality it is her true nature. This is the reason why the Prophet Muhammad PBUH instructed not to make an attempt at changing her as it would break her. Brother [MENTION=370]Eric H[/MENTION] has given you a very good advice and it is full of wisdom based of his experience. You should read his post on more time and my advice to you is the same that you need to find a way for your marriage to work. Instead of arguing with your soulmate may be look at the good sides of her personality and look at what you can improve on and change to make it a better relationship. Some of the things you can do are:
- Be a good listener. It is very important and sometimes women only want their husband to listen to them without giving offering any solution and without judging them. Just actively listen and say that you understand her, empathize with her instead of getting upset.
- Admit to your mistakes. Say sorry and you will see that this word works like a magic.
- Have a good intention for your wife at all the times.
- Accept her shortcomings for the sake of Allah.
- Give her gifts any time.
- Be humorous and play games with your wife.
- Smile at your wife whenever you see her.
- Pick topics of her interest during conversations
- Expect and respect her jealousy[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Tahoma,Calibri,Geneva,sans-serif].[/FONT]
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I should end my post with some quotes from Quran and Hadiths.Allah says in the Quran:
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said:
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said:
I hope you find this post helpful.
:wa: