Greetings of peace!

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

As'Salaam Alaaykum

I have a Question and i think it goes in this section. My Q is to the brothers, do you expect your spouse to have a degree? if she doesn't have a degree you would reject her proposal?

Sure, I can understand that she must be educated regarding her deen and has general knowledge of issues of simple issues in life etc, but if her character is good and is pious and educated enough to speak to you, or deal with her surroundings etc, but she doesn't have a degree, a degree is something one has in a certain area when one is intending to take their career pathway in that area, also there are individual's who get a degree in a certain area but choose not to take their career pathway in that area. What I am trying to ask is, is it something important for you?

Would someone who doesn't have a degree seem like a 'uneducated' individual to you, even though they have some level of qualifications, including piety? but the only thing missing is a 'degree'? I am curious to know your views, sister's may participate also inshaa'Allaah.

I apologise if my questions came out as silly, as i feel I am not good at explaining things..

Jazakallaahu Khaayr.

 

[joyous fairy]

Walaikum salam,


I am a sister and I expect my husband to have a PhD.



Hah kiddin'. I wouldnt mind as long as he has some education (i.e. Up to GCSE level at least ).
But I personally feel that a degree is not as good as some people make it out to be, unless the person uses what they have learnt in their job.

Now a PhD, that is good!

 

[Ghazalah]

I am a sister and I expect my husband to have a PhD.

Ditto.

I don't think a degree is that much of an importance, most of the time people come out with a degree, in debt and no work. :hmm: having said that, people are more likely to find jobs relating to their degree then those who don't have the qualifications. But I don't think a person is deemed 'lower' or 'uneducated' if they do not have the high qualifications. I know someone who has done Masters in some science related topic and they can't find work anywhere and currently sat at home.

Funny how it's the sisters who replied first

 

[Salahudeen]

Degree isn't important, I sometimes feel we've over complicated marriage. It's simple, find someone who your pleased with, get married, fall in love, have kids, spend your life's raising them as good people. I sometimes feel sick at how much we've complicated marriage.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

Nah, wouldn't expect it as a must have criterion. I see no reason to. A degree doesn't necessarily imply high intelligence. Maybe implies they are ambitious and have aspirations, but that is not necessarily and not always the case.

On the other hand, there are some people who really really really love the idea of being super duper successful in their chosen 'career' (and I mean to the extent that they don't give a rats about anything else). Which, personaly, I find extremely off-putting.

 

[Salahudeen]

When I think of the people of the past, for example my grand parents, marriage was so different in them times, as long as food was on the table and shelter was provided all parties were happy, but it's just so complicated now I don't know why.

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

As'Salaam Alaaykum

Jazakallaahu Khaayr all for your replies.

I just want to mention I am not against anyone achieving degree's (whether it be a male or female) as it's everyone's will, everyone is on different levels.

But rejecting proposal's because the sis or bro has no degree, and not having even found out the character of that individual, who knows that individual may be the pious one in the sight of Allaah SWT. In other words "overlooking the good for the sake of dunya", Yes, I understand the fact that even if the person is pious but you may not find him her attractive, that seems to be a reasonable reason one can understand. I don't know for some people marriage seems to be like buying a car, you don't like this car because it's got no degree, even though car works fine, looks fine, is sincere, pious, even good looking masha'Allaah, but still not interested. But I guess there will be those who disagree with me, feel free to do so.

Allaah SWT is Al Wadud - The ever loving, one of the most beautiful names of Allaah SWT. may he Allmighty ease the situations of the ummah, help those members of the ummah who are fast asleep to wake up and realise reality and help us make the right decisions and grant the ummah happiness in this life and the akhirah Aameen.

Wa'Allaahu Alam..

 

[Ramadhan]

When I think of the people of the past, for example my grand parents, marriage was so different in them times, as long as food was on the table and shelter was provided all parties were happy, but it's just so complicated now I don't know why.

yes, it's a conundrum innit.
Todays, compared to the past, there's much more ways (and easier) for people to get acquainted and get married, however, on the contrary, it is getting more difficult to get married.