Thanks everybody for the many welcome's, feel at home already
If you don't mind can you share your revert story with us.
I don't mind at all here's a copy/paste:
Hello everybody,
I thought i'd add my story here, just for the sake of sharing
Where to begin... It's a long story, but I hope others may find support/inspiration in it.
Also, please excusse my many spellings and gramatic errors. Englisch is not my native tongue and on top of that, I'm dyslectic.
I was raised as a christian but lost my faith somewhere at the age of 6. Things just didn't make sense for me. I geuss I 've been quite critical all my life. I even remember thinking my teacher was a morron when I was 7 because he had claimed that time travelling could be possible. "If time is the speed at wich things change how could these changes be undone for a traveler?" was the first thing that popped into my mind smile.gif As I grew older I went trough some hard times and had to deal with serious matters at an early age. The worst of them all was a depression of my father in wich he tried to kill us in order to comit suicide afterwards. The fights, fleeing home, the divorce, i'm sure one can imagen...
It seemed like everytime I trusted someone, loved someone they 'd betray me. It didn't take long for me not to trust anyone let alone believe in a higher being without any proof of such. I'd even say at one point I fitted all criteria from the defenition of a paranoia. Not that I seemed to have any problems, I functioned perfectly in todays sociaty, but inside I always felled like a big mess. I studied science and was quite good in it, I even became passionated about it, for they seemed the only certainties in life. Morality and ethicks were pointless words, leftovers from old wives tales and so called holy books.
Until one day I was smoking pot for the first time of my live with a friend. I don't know what really happened that day but it was the scariest expierence of my life. I was convinced of being dead and in hell. The friend sitting next to me was the devil. Every move I made was anticipated. Every sentence had an answer ready before I could even complete it. I felt like a playball being psychologicly tortured for fun. And the fear was worse than any imaganable pain. I was told by my docter later that most likely LSD was sprayed on to the wheed. I had my urine tested but since it happened in the weekend and visited the docter on Monday, It was possible for the test to come out negetive even though it did had lsd on it . The test resut turned out negative, and the incertainty was killing me. For a month I slept with the lights on. I started to better my ways out of fear. As time went by, the fear diminished but the morality and ethicks kinda grew on me.
It took me about 3 years of self reflection and filosofising. But I was finally able to find answers to all me questions, basicly get things lined out once and for all so I wouldn't have to bother myself with them anymore. I concluded to believe only in science as I have always done before. Basicly because I refused to believe science left any room for free will. An indispensable aspect of any religion containing words as hell and heaven, punishment and reward.
So I defined my personality disorder and found out the source of it on my own. Well at least, i had some clues. Memories of meself in the corridor of the house I grew up in looking at the bathroomdoor. Sounds of my mother and father strugeling. My mother screaming to my older sister: pick up that knife and get rid of it. It's funny how those memories came back. I can see myself standing in that corridor and know what is happening, but I can't recal what I saw. I only see myself in 3th-person vieuw.
I alweys knew I was diffrent from everybody else and figured that finding out the cause of my problems would help me deal with it, solve the problem. But somehow that didn't helped. I had everything figured out, but I was back at sqaure one, everything seemed pointless. And nobody's to be trusted. So I gave up the fight and continued life. Without realising it my morality diminished again. My life had no meaning. Trusted nobody nor anything exept for logics and science.
But then help came from an unexpected corner.In retrospect I'd even say right before my point of vieuw would become problematic
23;62 On no soul do We place a burden greater than it can bear.
I was trying to bend my mind over the difficult theory of time traveling and einstein-rozenberg-bridges but it all didn't make any sense. 'Till in very small amount of time a series of unrelated events, one after another seemed to point something out to me, It was as subtile touches pushing me towards a point of vieuw. At first I thought my paranoia was finaly getting to me, but then It finaly hit me, as if the puzzle came toghether: science doesn't deny religion, no far from it, science needs religion to complete it. When I posted this on another forum I'm active on, I was told of the miracels of the qur'an. How certain things wich were unknown in the time the qu'ran was writen are in it. Being so fond of science this immediatly got my attention. So I started reading....
Seas of emotions went trough me as I was reading, I cried of sadness and laughed of joy, I felt safe and afraid at the same time. The words were so strong yet deliberating. So plaine yet ireplaceble in their sentences. At some times it even seemed as if the book interacted with my thoughts. No other then the creator of all things could have made sush a masterwork. I never knew religion could be this logical and rational. About a week and 15 soera's later I converted. I felt alive. I believed. I no longer mistrust. And my heart found piece as promised.
13;28 Who have believed and whose hearts have rest in the remembrance of Allah. Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest!
:wub: :wub: :wub:
