Have you ever?

[muslimbychoice]

Have You Ever?

Bismillah Ir-Rahmaan Ir-Raheem

I'm curious - I know we all try to listen to lectures, read books and articles, surf the internet in search of knowledge - in search of how to be a better Muslim. I've done all of that - but somehow, at times, it seems as though I am unchanged. We hear words of wisdom and shake our heads in acknowledgement - but how many of us actually walk away and change the way we are and the way in which we do things?

I have a 'homework' assignment for all of us - please at least try it out. Find a lecture on a topic that is important to you - perhaps it will be 'how to choose the right friends' or how to stop 'the dangers of the tongue' or perhaps 'how to be a better wife or husband'. It doesn't really matter what lecture, article, book, etc. that you use - what matters is what you do with it. After you have really listened to its message, take the time - sit down and really ask yourself - how can I apply this information to my life. If it is on the topic of 'backbiting' - what things can you do to change this bad habit, should you change the people you spend your time with? Should you make dua before you speak? What other things can you do? Then . . . apply it to your life.

What I want us to do is to really listen . . . to really think . . . information and wisdom that is passed on to us is useless if we don't apply it. It's not enough to be able to tell someone else, 'yeah, I heard that on a lecture' - Islam is about applying this knowledge to our lives and it's about time we really looked at ourselves and asked if we are doing all we can to be the people we need to be. The best way to make dawah in this life is by action - by being a good example.

Have you done your part today?

 

[Rabi'ya]

Assalamualaikum

JAzak Allah for posting this...It is something important for us to remember. Often we listen to lectures and at the time its really inspiring and thought-provoking but to acutally put something into practise after listening to a lecture etc is quite a different matter. We may know the benefits of doing something but still we dont do it....

I cant think of a lecture right now...but i do agree with you....we need to take more notice and try to act upon our intentions....

Wsalaam

Rabi'ya:rose:

 

[........]

mashaalah sis...thats true...jazakallahu khair for ur post

 

[SalafiFemaleJih]

umm whatever i'm here whoever im...im just here cuz of internet....cuz of lectures...cuz of forums...and cuz of wonderful brothers and sisters wid knowledge....i think internet rocks...otherwise if not been this den i was long way lost.....subhan'Allah.

whenenever i listen to lecture....I try to act upon it and spread it on to others allahmdulillah.

even at forums...whenever i read a new thing I tell my family first...If I remember till de end of day till i meet my friend then I try my best to explain it to dem as well.

so wallahi, forums/lectures/websites about islam...really benefit me a lot...n i try my best to do dawah...its haraam to live in dis country if u are not doing dawah I know dat pretty well...well khair.

wasalamualaikum wr wb.

 

[ummnoura]

I like this thread, may Allah allow this post to benefit someone!

There is a lecture called : Br Waseem - The number one destructive device to the Muslim Ummah - TV (www.aswatalislam.net)

thats the website i got it from and subhanallah it's changed me. It was a month or two ago i downloaded it and i was already feeling sick of the TV. I'm a stay at home mom and i turned on the tv for noise. Not to really listen. I just listened to HGTV all day about homes and gardens. Not even bad stuff until you start thinking about it and looking at their dress, there clothes, the extravagent waste of money etc. Even the most docile of television is harmful to us. I havent wanted to watch tv since. I am down from 24 hours a day....the noise helped me sleep. To turning on the tv less than 1 hour a day and its not a fad or anything, i dont want to watch, when i turn it on all i see is the bad things that i dont want my daughter to grow up watching. I hope it will lesson the time you spend watching tv also. Please download the lecture and listen to it. Thanks.

Kristy :Sister:

 

[Takumi]

We should all make dua that Allah protect us from knowledge that does not benefit us (al ilmu la yanfa').

Listening to lectures through cassettes or DVD, IMHO, is not the best way to do it.

For the wives, the best is from the husband. For the daughters, the best is from the fathers and for us brothers, if we can find a teacher who is really good and take the lessons from him, that is the path that ALL the scholars and people of knowledge went through.

Allah could have inspired the prophet the way of Islam, but yet, Jibreel had to come and look like a man and ask him the questions and he provided the answers. This is the true tradition of seeking knowledge, from an aalim or a shaykh.

Even for the sisters, it is possible to find someone to teach and provide insights on that particular subject.

Because when you attend the class, not only that you use all your faculties to learn (visual, oral, listening,hands on), but also, you are trained to obtain the adab or etiquette of seeking knowledge which, sadly to say, as I have observed in many masajids and duroos, is thinning among the muslims.

When you listen to cassettes, you're deprived of the opportunity to ask and gain further explanation. This also happens in large gathering, which I'm not really fond of.

But, you have to do something about it, which I must commend all of you in your quest of becoming a better muslim.

may Allah make us among the shaakireen.

 

[SalafiFemaleJih]

We should all make dua that Allah protect us from knowledge that does not benefit us (al ilmu la yanfa').

Listening to lectures through cassettes or DVD, IMHO, is not the best way to do it.

For the wives, the best is from the husband. For the daughters, the best is from the fathers and for us brothers, if we can find a teacher who is really good and take the lessons from him, that is the path that ALL the scholars and people of knowledge went through.

Allah could have inspired the prophet the way of Islam, but yet, Jibreel had to come and look like a man and ask him the questions and he provided the answers. This is the true tradition of seeking knowledge, from an aalim or a shaykh.

Even for the sisters, it is possible to find someone to teach and provide insights on that particular subject.

Because when you attend the class, not only that you use all your faculties to learn (visual, oral, listening,hands on), but also, you are trained to obtain the adab or etiquette of seeking knowledge which, sadly to say, as I have observed in many masajids and duroos, is thinning among the muslims.

When you listen to cassettes, you're deprived of the opportunity to ask and gain further explanation. This also happens in large gathering, which I'm not really fond of.

But, you have to do something about it, which I must commend all of you in your quest of becoming a better muslim.

may Allah make us among the shaakireen.

for the wives its best is to increase knowledge from husband right? but I'm not married.

and for daughters from brothers and father right? well I don't have a brother and my father is not religious...well lets say not dat much intoIslam.

if not all of em, then shaykhs right? well At the mosque these shaykhs always have stuff for guys not for girls....and My parents not allowing me to go to alim school alone....so what am I supposed to do?

well thats why i'm on my own....seek knowledge thru puter...till i get nikkah done and go aboard...for islamic studies insha'Allah....if my hubby agrees.

wasalamualaikum wr wb : )

 

[Takumi]

May Allah grant you your wish and make you among the people whom he had mentioned:

"innama yakhshAllaha min 'ibaadihil 'ulamaa'" (indeed the ones who fear Allah among His servants are the scholars)

That masjid is messed up. They should have program for girls!!

where are all the millionaires when we need them?

 

[SalafiFemaleJih]

May Allah grant you your wish and make you among the people whom he had mentioned:

"innama yakhshAllaha min 'ibaadihil 'ulamaa'" (indeed the ones who fear Allah among His servants are the scholars)

That masjid is messed up. They should have program for girls!!

where are all the millionaires when we need them?

Ameen to da dua : )

wasalamaualaikum wr wb : )

 

[Ummu Amatullah]

for the wives its best is to increase knowledge from husband right? but I'm not married.

and for daughters from brothers and father right? well I don't have a brother and my father is not religious...well lets say not dat much intoIslam.

if not all of em, then shaykhs right? well At the mosque these shaykhs always have stuff for guys not for girls....and My parents not allowing me to go to alim school alone....so what am I supposed to do?

well thats why i'm on my own....seek knowledge thru puter...till i get nikkah done and go aboard...for islamic studies insha'Allah....if my hubby agrees.

wasalamualaikum wr wb : )

Mashallah sis you're trying to teach yourself :applaud:.I know many sisters who have the chance and time to learn yet they slacken and procrastinate.May Allah grant you full knowledge ameen.Inshallah me too .Your sigs.'s such a :wilted_ro(meaning beautiful)

 

[musleemah]

if females/girls belive there should be more activities for women in the masjid, there is not use in just saying it, because after a while, youll still be naggin and nothing will be done. the best thing to do i think would be to get active and start making groups amongs the youg girls interested in your community and then approach the head of the mosque and speak to them about your idea. and sound specfific, tell them exactly what you want and why you want it. this may have more of an impact, and might turn your ideas into actions.

ano brothers i dont think it is fair quoting the hadith and saying that women are recommended or discouraged to go to the masjid. it is true we as women will recieve more reward if we pray at home however the reason why we want to get a group going in the masjid is for our bond of sisterhood to increase, and we could choose to do this at the shops, cinems, through partys, however we are choosing to do it through the masjid, and i think you should appreciate that. parents will also be willing to send thier daughters more. one last thing, the majid should be the centre of the activities of the ummah, so this i think sums up why the girls want somethign going on for them at the masjid.

any one please correct me if im wrong, forgive me if ive offended, Assalaau 'Alaykum

 

[Ummah]

Asalaamualaikum

that's really true, im a big sufferer of this, i listen to lectures and read books and Alhamdulillah have changed in alot of ways but one thing i find so difficult is the hijaab. i wear it sometimes and i always love wearing it but i think satan gets to me big time because i dont wear it 24/7 and im really scared to wear it! It really bugs me when people say "excuses excuses", i know satan makes 1000 excuses for one sin... by thats my main problem, I KNOW all of this, despite, i still cant bring myself to wear it! arghhhh!! thats why i say "ewhen im ready" because the last thing i want to do is be like so many other girls, put it on and then take it off! I see the hijaab is a big responsiblity, you are WEARING the name of islam. I know peolpe would take me more seriously if i wore it but i dunno... i really cant explain myself..

 

[Ummu Amatullah]

Sorry Hashim I think this has to be the first time I disagree with you it's better for the sisters to have programs in the masjid.Sure there may be fitnah going around,but whatever happens was meant to happen.Yes,sisters could come together and tell the sheiks their opinions.That way they can form their own club like you suggested.What's the difference between walking/driving to the masjid or another sisters house.If there's going to be fitnah in the masjid or by the masjid don't you think it'll be present in or around the sisters house.If safety is your concern thanks .Sisters put your trust in Allah then you'll be fine :thumbs_up.I go to the masjid every day or skip a day.So far alhamdullilah don't have any problems.Put on the correct hijab that fully covers you and the rest leave it to fate.Salams

 

[Ummu Amatullah]

Yes,deffinetly.Ahhh...alhamdullilah thought I got you angry.Guess not

 

[Takumi]

How can they have programs at the masjid when the sisters area are so small?

Some restrooms in some mansions are bigger than the sisters area.

Read about it here http://slacov.blogspot.com/2005_06_26_slacov_archive.html

I don't get why people build sisters area smaller than the men's in the first place? I don't think budget is the issue because some of these masajid has extravagant chandeliers hanging down in the MEN'S prayer area as if the chandelier's gonna make the solah more effective.

 

[muslimbychoice]

Asalaamualaikum

that's really true, im a big sufferer of this, i listen to lectures and read books and Alhamdulillah have changed in alot of ways but one thing i find so difficult is the hijaab. i wear it sometimes and i always love wearing it but i think satan gets to me big time because i dont wear it 24/7 and im really scared to wear it! It really bugs me when people say "excuses excuses", i know satan makes 1000 excuses for one sin... by thats my main problem, I KNOW all of this, despite, i still cant bring myself to wear it! arghhhh!! thats why i say "ewhen im ready" because the last thing i want to do is be like so many other girls, put it on and then take it off! I see the hijaab is a big responsiblity, you are WEARING the name of islam. I know peolpe would take me more seriously if i wore it but i dunno... i really cant explain myself..

Dearest Sister:

I'm not going to say to you that it is easy - although I have known many people who wear hijab right away the moment that they become Muslim - no one else can understand the hardships we go through and one thing may be easy for one person yet difficult for another. Alhumdulilah, I have worn it now for 11 years and it is a part of me that I could never set aside.

I know what you mean that you are scared to wear it. When I first became Muslim I was living in Arkansas and that is really Bible Belt country. Most people at that time were not wearing hijab - including the women from Muslim countries - they wore it in their country and when they got to the US they took it off. I'm not making excuses for anyone - as we all should agree that it is obligitory to wear. The facts remain, people did not wear it.

I was a new Muslim so I was scared to wear it - what would people say - what would people do? I started to wear hijab on Eid. I wore it to the mosque for Eid prayers and afterwards we went for breakfast and I did not take it off (my hair would be messed, it's Eid, why not wear it - etc., etc.). Anyway, I did not take it off and I wore it for the second time in public. When the waitress came to our table . . . she seemed scared - not sure of how to react (remember, back then no one else was setting an example so people were not used to seeing women wear hijab). I was polite . . . said my pleases and thank yous and the woman started to smile and warm up to us. It was then that I realized . . . when I am wearing hijab - and I act with proper ettiquette with people - I am not only telling people that I am a decent person, but now I am also giving people a reflection of Islam. I am saying - Muslims are not bad people. Anything I say or do while wearing hijab is not only a reflection of myself but is a reflection of Islam and is a way that I can make dawah - by making people see Islam through my actions (of course, we need to make sure our actions are a reflection of Islam). After we ate at the restaurant we left and as we were leaving there were two women with several children in tow. Because it was Eid, everyone was wearing nice dresses and hijab (not a sight to be seen at that time). It was so touching to see other women in hijab that I actually cried. It was such a beautiful sight that I promised Allah that I would never take mine off - and, alhumdulilah, I never have.

Since then, I live in a different state and people are more open to Muslims - they see us more and they are much more educated that people in the South (sorry for any Southerners out there!) We are treated well here - for the most part - but we are still not treated the same as people of other faiths.

The only way that we will ever be treated "the same" is if we compromise to the point of being completely like them in thought and deed. Being a Muslim means being different - it is inherent in our religion. The thing we need to realize is that it doesn't matter if we let people know we are Muslim or if we try to hide it . . . it doesn't matter if we dress like they do or we dress like Muslims should dress . . . we are not the same to them no matter what. Beyond that, do we really want to go before Allah and say that we were too shamed or afraid to tell the world that we are Muslim? If we truly believe that being a Muslim is the right choice, then shouldn't we be a banner for all people to see - that we live what we believe and we follow what we believe and that Islam is the truth?

For the non-muslims - it doesn't matter how we dress - they are not going to treat us any differently. Because, when you get down to it . . . it doesn't matter . . . we are still different from them and they can't understand us and our way of life. They will never understand it unless they become open to the message of Islam and many of them are just happy being where they are . . . wearing their short skirts . . . bearing their bodies in the name of freedom . . . and doing things that they should be ashamed of if they only truly believed that God was well aware of all that they do.

Before becoming Muslim, I used to believe that I was only worth something if I tried to make myself as beautiful as possible. I wouldn't even go check the mail unless I had my hair and makeup fixed. Becoming Muslim and wearing hijab taught me that there is more to beauty than just what you show off to people.

There is something liberating about going around satisfied about who you are as a person . . . not having to compete with others . . . not having to be something you aren't and not having to hide behind makeup and clothing that reveals while concealing your true worth as a person. We are worth much more than just bodies to be paraded around and admired - we have hearts and we have souls and we have minds that contain so much more than what is seen in a quick stolen glance by hungry wolves out on the prowl.

The important thing for us to realize . . . life is not a popularity contest. If we only worry about what everyone is going to think of us . . . if we only worry about what people are going to say . . . we are truly going to miss the true message of Islam. If we are not willing to make the sacrifices and to try our best to do what is pleasing to Allah, Allah will not allow us to receive the wisdom needed for true success in this life and in the hereafter. If we seek Allah's pleasure in all that we do, despite the obstacles, Allah will open up other avenues for blessings and provide us with other opportunities for personal growth and wisdom.

As is stated in Sahih Al-Bukhari:

Narrated Anas (R): The Prophet (S) said, "Allah says: 'When a slave of Mine draws near to Me a span, I draw near to him a cubit; and if he draws near to Me a cubit, I draw near to him a fathom. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.'"

For all things that Islam requires of us, there is beauty and wisdom to be gained . . . if we only were to reflect and live our lives accordingly.


<<<I can only hope that these words are of some benefit to you.>>>


Asalaam 'Alaikum,
Sumayyah (Muslimbychoice)

 

[muslimbychoice]

How can they have programs at the masjid when the sisters area are so small?

Some restrooms in some mansions are bigger than the sisters area.

Read about it here http://slacov.blogspot.com/2005_06_26_slacov_archive.html

I don't get why people build sisters area smaller than the men's in the first place? I don't think budget is the issue because some of these masajid has extravagant chandeliers hanging down in the MEN'S prayer area as if the chandelier's gonna make the solah more effective.

They just built a larger area to our mosque and sisters even have an area to sit if they have children. However, the parking is so small for the mosque that on Fridays it is packed and people have to park quite a ways and walk across a busy street. Some of the men have said, "women aren't required in the mosque so they should stay home in order to not have the parking area packed. They are keeping men from coming to the masjid which is obligatory."

Anyway, at the closest mosque to us, they have few programs to begin with (although the imam is hafidh of Qur'an and is quite knowledgeable), but they have nothing for women with children. They recently had a class for teaching Arabic but it is "intensive" - 5 days a week at nights (a time when most mothers are trying to put their children to bed). They also have on class for women on the weekend, however there is no daycare - my husband is working full time and going for his PhD. He is very busy. Some women in the community have upwards of six children. I also don't have friends in my are who would be able to watch our children - so I am stuck at home with them and try my best (when they're not driving me nuts - he he) to listen to lectures and read to increase my knowledge of the deen. That's the only avenue I have at this time.

While, in my opinion, women with children are the most important group of people to educate in the community (not trying to be prejudiced) but the future leaders of this Ummah result from the upbrining of their mothers - they they are the most neglected. It's sad, but no one has been willing to do anything about it. It has been mentioned, but nothing changes.

Asalaam 'Alaikum,
Sumayyah (Muslimbychoice)

 

[Ummu Amatullah]

How can they have programs at the masjid when the sisters area are so small?

Some restrooms in some mansions are bigger than the sisters area.

Read about it here http://slacov.blogspot.com/2005_06_26_slacov_archive.html

I don't get why people build sisters area smaller than the men's in the first place? I don't think budget is the issue because some of these masajid has extravagant chandeliers hanging down in the MEN'S prayer area as if the chandelier's gonna make the solah more effective.

Asallama Alaikum brother we take our classes in the other side of the Masjid.We don't really need a big area.Think I mentioned it in another thread it's only 15 sisters.Do agree though they should have bigger areas for sisters.In the Masjid I normally go to it doesn't have this,but another Masjid I visited recently.In prayer the sisters have to fit about 30-45 in a line.If that many sisters want to worship Allah don't you think they should have a bigger place to do their worship.If I had to take a guess at it.I would say that these people are sexists.Seriously they are.That's the only thing that explains it.

 

[Takumi]

Yes, they're sexist. I must admit it. As long as masajid are controlled by muslim immigrants they're gonna practice their baggage and garbage from "back home" News flash, this is not back home.

Masajid don't need the fancy chandelier and intricate woodwork or berber carpeting. What we need is an imam who does not discriminate and provide equal opportunity for both sexes to learn.

With this, women who traditionally take the role to providing tarbiah at home will upbring their children more Islamically. Hence, their kids won't cause trouble and if troubled kids kids get married, they will not be able to teach their kids. Vicious cycle. Deja vu!

Even as a man, these masajid controller won't listen to me. What they care about is bigger place to accommodate jum'ah prayer and a hafiz to lead the taraweeh like a bullet train in Ramadan. That is totally messed up!

They think they can escape the day of judgement? Let me see they try.

 

[SalafiFemaleJih]

at our mosque it always looks like we are having fashion show subhan'Allah...usually on fridays.

maybe cuz of same entrance.

wasalamuaalikum wr wb : )