he wants to rape me

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AnonymousPoster

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I am so lost I need guidance and answers. My mom became muslim and found a husband on the internet. He is an Emam and has a big following. He is illegal in this country .I had to move home to care for my mother. When I moved home her husband craweled into bed with me and touched me inapropiatley. I showed my anger and shoved him away and tried to think of this as just a mis commuinication between cultures. He is black from africa and me and my mother are white . I was a christian that converted to Muslim as well as my christian boyfriend did the same because I did not want to leave my boyfriend while caring for my mother. My boyfriend and I got married and coverted to respect my mother and her new husband . We were totally messed up before becoming Muslim and had done everything wrong in this world but upon becoming Muslim each and everyday we have tried so hard to change our ways and respect my parents. But nothing is good enough for my mothers husband. He constantly makes assumtions as to what my boyfriend and I are doing wrong or right. Ignores us if we make a mistake and that doesnt really bother me but he fights with my mother about our mistakes ignores my mother and treats her as if she is doing something wrong. For the past 6 months I have done all the cooking all the cleaning for my mom her husband and my husband as well as a mentally ill family member whom stays with us. Nobody in this house helps me at all. My moms husband does not support my mother. The rent is 975.00 the mental family member recieves 500.00 this goes towards rent. My moms husband only pays 475.00. I pay for electric, gas, water, and 176.00 a month for groceries. Plus I work 5 hours or more a day cleaning and cooking for everybody in the family. My husband is not doing anything to help but the fact is he still commuincates with me laughs and trys to make me happy at least emotionally. My moms husband on the other hand condems the entire houshold for all the mistakes they make but I cannot see where he is doing anything but keeping his own hygiene and praying. He has a cat he doesnt care for he got birds that he doesnt clean up after and now he has invited 3 small boys into his office for teaching them the Quran and the messes they make he does not clean up. My mom is having to send his son money in Africa, I do everything for everyone in the house . The only thing that each individual is doing is their own hygiene. My mom is disabled and I have to care for her but How can this man whom is doing nothing for her, nor me nor this household but paying for a small portion of rent be so righteous and and condeming and hateful to everyone in the house. He acts as if he does nothing wrong but the fact of the matter is my mother feels opressed. She had to pardon him for her dowery and now is having a man who just is hateful and ignores her. All these troubles has made me just stop all my muslim duties. I dont feel like this religion this man is teaching me is anything I want to be a part of. I love everyone unconditionally. I love human beings of all color. I grant pardons for peoples mistakes against me. I am a loving caring person working my self to death trying to keep everyone and everything clean in this house. I am also trying to get enrolled in nursing school . Anyone have anything to say that might guide me. Each time I pray I am feel I am told (dont let go and keep trying to do the best I can) But again my best isnt good enough for my moms husband and his actions against me make my mother unhappy. Now remember I am a bad girl from the past I am not a saint nor a prophet but I do the best I can everyday

SIGNED

Most Miserable Muslim
http://www.islamonline.net/discussione/thread.jspa?threadID=24200&tstart=0
 
Sister, I followed the link in your post and saw that you had been given some very good Islamic advice. I sincerely advise you to follow it. InshaAllah.
 
If someone tried to rape you, you need to phone the police.

Does not matter which country you are in, or what were the circumstances or the background, somebody tried to rape you call the Police.

Even if its your relative, does not matter, a Rapist is punishable by death in Islam, and at the very least he should be questioned and interrogated by Police.

You should also let your mother know what happened so there is no blame on you after if he tried to claim you were immodest or something like that, as some men often try to do when they face such accusations.
 
Sis, seriously. It does not matter if he is your mum's husband, you need to call the police now.

The problem is, you have no proof of what he has done/ tried to do. If you can gather some or be ready the next time somehow, get cracking.

In the meantime, you can get a restraining order. All you need to do is walk into a police office and tell them. That is all it takes.

This guy is of no use to anyone in your family. Get him out using the law.

As for caring for your mum. I respect that utterly. Don't stop.

Your husband must work. You can't use the 500 from the mentally ill person's funding for rent. Your husband's main role isn't to keep you happy during the day. His first priority should be to provide for your family.

See those things can be solved...but you have to get this guy out of your house. Now. Tell your mum to get rid of him. If she refuses, tell her it's either him or you. You cannot degrade yourself to living with a man who creeps into your bed and touches you unsuitably.

See you seem like a nice lady. I think if I were in your place, I'd ruin the man. I'd scream so hard, his ancestors in Africa would be ashamed. Don't let anyone treat you badly. Ever.

Being a doormat for people is a humbling thing...but with time, you lose self respect...and I am afraid that may be happening to you. You don't have to take crap from anyone. Know your rights as a human being. God created you to serve him, not perverted men.

The best thing you can give your mum is your happiness. The best thing you can do for your mum is to rid her of this deceiving man.

I am so disgusted sis. You have to act. Now. Get help and make sure your husband starts working. (unless he cannot)

:w:
 
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:grumbling OMG PHONE THE POLICE STRAIGHT AWAY!!!!!

Thinkabout what this so called man is capable of after what he has done to you and ask your self that do you want him to be able to continue and do this to someone else................................. I am sorry but this man cannot be Muslim. Sorry if i offend you.
 

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