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Thread: Help! Im scared!
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Im so scared, i am getting married next summer and im afraid ill make mistakes or i wont be able to please my husband or his family!

Im young, i learn everyday how to be a better person, but what if they dont like me! What if i say or do something stupid!
My family lets things go because i am their daughter/sister......but its diff when you go into someone elses family. They are less likely to let things go...

i cried today because im so scared
 
Assalamu Alaikum


InshaAllaah if your moving into a good respectable family they will understand your age and situation and will be leniant towards you. Dont stress too much over not looking bad because then you'll always be stiff and tense, be calm and be your pious self.



Sorry, cant give much more advice..
 
Haaaallo,

seriously mate, nothing to worry about, you dun needa be with the family all the time, you can move out with your hubby and visit time to time, am sure you'll be jut fine, and your future hubby will be there by your side, what's there to worry about?

Make loadsa dua and you should be fine inshaAllaah,

Plus if you're well behaved or atleast try your best, nothing should really go wrong, unless they're stooopid, but let's not go there,

Be a good Muslimah, Buh bye
 
AnonymousGender said:
Haaaallo,

seriously mate, nothing to worry about, you dun needa be with the family all the time, you can move out with your hubby and visit time to time,
Click to expand...

moving out aint always the solution

its normally the beginning of huge problems


UNLESS your parents WANT you to move out


ok maybe this only counts with some cultures but if your paki/bangi i wud say do NOT move out UNLESS your parents want you to and give permission.

because moving out can cause the mother to feel like you stole her son.... ESPECIALLY if you end up visiting like once a week or two
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
moving out aint always the solution

its normally the beginning of huge problems


UNLESS your parents WANT you to move out


ok maybe this only counts with some cultures but if your paki/bangi i wud say do NOT move out UNLESS your parents want you to and give permission.

because moving out can cause the mother to feel like you stole her son.... ESPECIALLY if you end up visiting like once a week or two
Click to expand...

Haaallo,

Akhi your face has gone a funny colour and now I am worried,

Why should it be there problem, he would be a married man, surely they moved out themselves? correct? You can;t live with your rents all your life, if you are old enough to fend for yourself, you should do so, but continue to support your family and visit them, cutting family ties is a big issue and if what you say is true, I would be patient and stay in his house,

Ciao.

Anon#2 again.
 
thank you

we will be living with them only for part of the year (summer)
but then we will be living in our own place during the rest of the year, both of us are in university

i am not trying to praise myself when i say this, but i have a good heart and never try to hurt anyone on purpose...but sometimes i make my mother upset or angry and i dont mean to....so i get scared...what if i make my mil angry even if i didnt mean to?

i am going to do my very best. hopefully they understand that i am young and still learning. i also grew up in a westernized country so i have always been struggling to maintain the right attitude about things and behaivor
 
:salamext:

Aww fishter! Your posts made me smile because you sound a little like me, lol if you have access to the Ladies Room I suggest you get in there and I'll tell you a lil story

:wasalamex
 
AlbanianMuslim said:
i have been applying to get access, but for some reason they will not approve me
Click to expand...

:salamext:

Aww ok then. I guess you'll miss out on the story but I'll PM you sometime insha'Allah sis. Take care and no fretting

:wasalamex
 
Assalamualaykum

Im so scared, i am getting married next summer and im afraid ill make mistakes or i wont be able to please my husband or his family!

Im young, i learn everyday how to be a better person, but what if they dont like me! What if i say or do something stupid!
My family lets things go because i am their daughter/sister......but its diff when you go into someone elses family. They are less likely to let things go...

i cried today because im so scared
Click to expand...

Do not worry Sister, you will be fine Insha'Allah everything will be ok, you will live happily ever after

How to do that though? *hmmm* Simple Make Du'aa to Allah the Almighty and you will surely prevail. I will make dua for you Sister that you and your husband live happily. Do not worry and stress too much, take heed of what the Brothers and Sisters of this forum are saying and most of all: Remember Allah.

Assalamualaykum
*KB*
:coolious:
 
no it doesnt

99% where do you get ur statistics?
its not neglect

it depends on the family, couple and circumstances
for ex. my brother who is getting married in the fall HAS to move out, because his job demands that he live in NY, we live in a diff state.

another cousin, had so many bros and sis in the house, that it was too crowded so he got a small apartment with his wife 10 min away.

dont generlize.
 
dont worry about it sis .... inshallah yseer khairrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. n u still got a year so u know talk to his family n get to know him better .. wa inshalllah .. u wont feel like that..... im tell u this part as long as u please ur husband thats wat all matters.. good luck dont worry at ALLLL :S salamz
 
Its natural to be a little nervous and worried because its a big step but after wedding you will see everything will settle down
 
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la hawla wa la qowata illa bellah

my dear sister AnonymousGender don`t be afraid cause everything is going to be allright Allah knows whats inside of you Allah knows your pure big heart and how much you are beautifull and care for the others ,,,,trust Allah and you will be just fine Allah will help you cause he knew your good amazing intent....and I an really sure that every single person in that family will love you ,respect you and longing to meet you....

all these fears will disappear after living with your husband...many girls feel the same and got scared but after marriage they start laughing on their selves wondring why all those fears were within my heart and you will know that you troubled your self for nothing.....

you will be OK trust Allah and he will ease your fears....

may Allah love you and reward you with happiness and satisfaction in this life and in the hereafter and make the one who will take you as a wife agood husband fearing Allah ,love you and care about you...

may Allah grant you with a beautifull children too ...^^

Ameeeeeeeeeeen

trust me oneday you will laugh on your self....

and my dear sister Tania we are not forced to serve our husbands but it is for Allah sake...and when you work so hard cooking for him cleaning for him he will feel your warmth ,love and care...and why wouldn`t I work for him...he do the same for me working so hard to feed me to buy clothes and gifts fro me ..he comes so tired from work and when he find the house clean the food is served a warm smile ...he will forget everything and will appreciate you more and more and will know how much you care for him and will love you more and more and will miss you so much when he is in work.....

it is Jihaad for woman when she works at her husband house her house both of them work for eachother...subhaan Allah and never forget how much rewards we will take from Allah...and worring about pleasing his family is a normal thing cause you don`t know them as your family ...you knew everything about your family and how to please them ..but his family you have to work so hard to get long with them to please them like pleasing your family and I am sure that my dear sister AnonymousGender will please them easily...beithen ellah...

and my dear sister AlbanianMuslim try to explain to our dear sister Tania and make her understand why more than calling her ignorant ...she does not know honey and never meant to be cruel or harsh my dear I know Tania she is really great person and I am sure you are too...explain for her something she doesn`t know anything about it and I am sure that she will be really thankfull....

may Allah guide us all to the right path and reward us with Jannat al ferdous...Ameeeeeeeeeen
 
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We now return to the original topic. Please continue where you left off, but do not derail the thread.
 
Do not worry over something that has not even happened yet.Its natural to feel some unease and anxiety when you will be leaving your parents home to your marital home.All sides will be concerned that you settle in with ease,so if it helps just believe you will make a fine spouse and daughter in law and always be truthful and open with your husband.Good luck