RevertTayra
Active member
- Messages
- 43
- Reaction score
- 3
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
Dear brothers and sisters, assalamu alaykum,
I'm a constant revert. I don't have jamma here where I live, and then I fall into shaytan's traps very often. Before I used to be living totally different life and I never told anyone that I became Muslima because here in my country Muslims are mostly primitive and uneducated and also I constantly fall in traps and do sins and then I go back to Islam, and so on...
My fallings last for couple of days or weeks, then I go back to Allah, and this is constant. Last time I fell, I started relationship with non-Muslim. Then Allah gave me very strong hardships, because I stopped doing salaat, and started doing other sins and was very ungrateful. I was on edge of killing myself, but I didn't... This man took care of me in every sense - emotionally, financially, etc. Then I got back to Islam and very firmly this time. Alhamdulillah, there's no zina. This man comes to my place, and nothing happens in sense of zina. Then he wakes up and leaves until night, so I manage to pray all 5 salaat.
The reason why I'm not leaving him is because he took care of me for months and a lot. He spent a lot of money on me, he fed me, he was taking care of me while sick... When I repented to Allah and started really doing all my best to be as good as possible with deen, my life turned totally positive. And now, if I'd tell him - you see, I'm a Muslim and have to break up with you, because you're not, then I might present very bad picture of Islam and Islam is already badly presented here with behavior of many Muslims.
There's another thing. Once, we had a meal and he said alhamdulillah and I was a little shocked. He used to say: I'm going to convert to Islam, but here many people make fun of Islam even in that sense, when they say some things like this, including MashaAllah, inshaAllah etc. I started observing him and he never seemed to be making fun of it, but I'm not sure. Once, at my place he saw a book about Prophet saws and he said: I would love to read this book.
I know that Allah knows best, but what if he's secretly thinking of Islam and converting but for a similar reason to mine, he's keeping it secret?
I'm very bad with dawah... But, what do you think? Since, there's no zina... Should I try to make dawah somehow with Allah's help? I also found that he likes Muslims...
I'm hoping that there are smart and wise brothers and sisters here who could give me good advice
I'm a constant revert. I don't have jamma here where I live, and then I fall into shaytan's traps very often. Before I used to be living totally different life and I never told anyone that I became Muslima because here in my country Muslims are mostly primitive and uneducated and also I constantly fall in traps and do sins and then I go back to Islam, and so on...
My fallings last for couple of days or weeks, then I go back to Allah, and this is constant. Last time I fell, I started relationship with non-Muslim. Then Allah gave me very strong hardships, because I stopped doing salaat, and started doing other sins and was very ungrateful. I was on edge of killing myself, but I didn't... This man took care of me in every sense - emotionally, financially, etc. Then I got back to Islam and very firmly this time. Alhamdulillah, there's no zina. This man comes to my place, and nothing happens in sense of zina. Then he wakes up and leaves until night, so I manage to pray all 5 salaat.
The reason why I'm not leaving him is because he took care of me for months and a lot. He spent a lot of money on me, he fed me, he was taking care of me while sick... When I repented to Allah and started really doing all my best to be as good as possible with deen, my life turned totally positive. And now, if I'd tell him - you see, I'm a Muslim and have to break up with you, because you're not, then I might present very bad picture of Islam and Islam is already badly presented here with behavior of many Muslims.
There's another thing. Once, we had a meal and he said alhamdulillah and I was a little shocked. He used to say: I'm going to convert to Islam, but here many people make fun of Islam even in that sense, when they say some things like this, including MashaAllah, inshaAllah etc. I started observing him and he never seemed to be making fun of it, but I'm not sure. Once, at my place he saw a book about Prophet saws and he said: I would love to read this book.
I know that Allah knows best, but what if he's secretly thinking of Islam and converting but for a similar reason to mine, he's keeping it secret?
I'm very bad with dawah... But, what do you think? Since, there's no zina... Should I try to make dawah somehow with Allah's help? I also found that he likes Muslims...
I'm hoping that there are smart and wise brothers and sisters here who could give me good advice