help or taken advantage of?

[sherz_umr]

aslkm all..

I know that we have to help people..but what does one do to stop others from taking advantage of us? It makes me feel really foolish.
A realy simple example..
In my hostel, i stay in the third floor. I keep 3-4 bottles of drinking water in my room ( bottles filled from ground floor cooler). Now whenever anybody asks for water n my floor i give. This has sort of become a habit..theyre too lazy to fill their bottles nd when im back frm college realy tired nd see emply bottles staring back at me 4m just too pissed to bother filin em again. Ths is just 1exmpl. My friends say that i nevr say no, and thts gona make me a very bitter person. Should i b patient nd 4gt abt it or stop them,how?
Iv read too many 'xtrmly poor people share their once a day meal with a hungry guy' stories nd it makes me feel lke a whiner.

 

[al yunan]

Walaikum Salam sister,
You mentioned others are lazy, helping lazy people is not a virtue it's dumb. Sadaka is an act of kindness and should never be confused with been taken advantage of. A lot worse could be said but it's only water. Maybe if you placed a sticker with a small delivery fee ?
A soft heart is worth rivers of water in a dry land.
Masalam

 

[tigerkhan]

really its a serious pbm and very common practice.
eg my students, if i relax them and be soft to them, they always come late in class, dont do assigments and i feel they make a fool of me. my lab staff always shows laziness if i use soft tune. sometime i feel its very difficult to be soft to these ppl in this time.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Asalaamu alaikum, I think one needs to strike a balance between being firm, stearn and harsh and being too liberal, lenient and soft otherwise as Brother tiger khan mentioned people will take advantage of ones over-leniency in matters. Therefore there should be a balance between the two.

So i think sister you need to be more firm in this matter without being harsh and establish the fact that they should get their own water from the groungfloor cooler from now on as it is clearly exhausting you to keep doing it especiall when you come in from a hard day. Try to keep a good balance between being too lenient with people and being firm in certain matters. Be the best towards others but at the sametime do not let anyone take libertys with you otherwise they will get used to it and keep taking advantage. Thats human nature.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[Haya emaan]

sister seems ur kind heartedness is making them more lazy.. they have become use to of taking water from you instead of making some effort by them selves... its not even good for them..
in such situations instead of doing good to them its just like spoiling there habbits

 

[M.I.A.]

it will not make you bitter, if it did you would not do such things and they would be easy to stop.
what it does is give you a different perspective that probably shows in more ways than giving water.

..you may become a whiner though, im sure allah swt hears you.

the things that make you bitter are the things that you want and are not given.