[emem]

I feel bad... It hit me again...

Hi there... I don't know... I'm just wondering... around... You know...? This might sound embarassing but I feel bad... I mean... I feel like ME? Do you get IT? Ha ha. I sometimes think that why the hell does it have to be that Saitan should be casted unto the Hell Fire in the first place and all of the you know what needs to happen like my Aunt Jean who died as a Christian needs to be sent to hell just for something she doesn't know and I don't want to say this but she just grew up with a simple family that are Christians in a Christian dominated place and how the hell could she be a Muslim if she was used to that? Do you understand? I know that my mother converted but it didn't became enough reason for her to convert too... Sad. And now I don't know... I was just smoking and reflecting at the same time this night and looking at the stars... Wondering what the hell this life is all about... I'm really sick of everything! All the LIES... I'm truly angry... I'm sorry... Filled with resent and hate against everything... As I have posted on older posts, I had this Paralyzation... Panic Attack... Confined in bed for 1 year and 3 months... It happened 3 times in my life which those 3 times are full blown... The others are just small and medium episodes which really hurt my head... Wew...

I'm ranting... Ha ha. Forgive me... Allah knows my heart... Maybe I have a heart of a girl... Sorry... Ha ha... Sorry... I'm Scorpio... I don't know if you believe in Zodiacs but I sorta observed that what I've read about myself is true... And also, astrologist say that. Blah blah blah... I'm thinking of the word FREEDOM... Why is it that I am a slave? And the whole world around me doesn't UNDERSTAND me...? Yeah... Anyways... I feel sympathetic to my sister who is treated like a helper in the house... His real father is now engaged to another woman and also my other older bro which is that father's son... The first kid's pops had a motorcycle accident... May the King grant him mercy... We're 8 in the house... My sister, the one I'm talking about is Lesbian... In the past she prays but now I think she's just wandering around... But time will come... Truth shall prevail... I hope... I want to create a band... I know it's kinda metal and I wrote some afterwards I got my illness... On separate periods of time... Some songs are just buried deep inside my skull that I'm still thinking if I want to sing it later on... But what the heck, at least the ones I will are all TEN I guess... And my sister's name is Tin Tin or Aisha with Kristine as the first name. She's already 28 and will be having her birthday on May 10(I hope I'm correct). I want to FREE her... Do you get it? Even if my songs are somehow wicked... I just want to live life to it's maximum potential... Am I lost? Am I still finding myself?

Yeah, yeah, yeah... Whatever...

Inshaallah... Time will come... I was born on November the Fifth. Allahuakbar...

Peace...

 

[greenhill]

Re: I feel bad... It hit me again...

Peace to you.

Wonderful ranting :shade: I can perhaps relate. Philippines. I'm not so unfamiliar. You guys can sing. That's for sure.

Watching Jeffrey Lang on YouTube regarding 'The Purpose of Life' helped screw my head on nicely. Someone from this very forum mentioned him. I thank that person.

What we have to believe is that Allah is The Best of Judges, Most Fair, All Knowing and...and... it is not our place and it will never be our place to presume anything.

We are created by Him, and whether we like it or not, the truth remains the truth, and we are His slaves.

The 'freedom' we have is in our choice. Do we or don't we submit to Him? We must freely choose.

I could ramble on... I will just to finish a related point...

The episode with Syaitan has a story to tell so it may teach us a lesson. Syaitan did everything, he was (before the creation of Adam) the number 1 worshipper of Allah swt. His pride caused his downfall. The first time Allah Instructed him to do something, he couldn't follow. He did things out of his own free will.

We are cut more slack. But the tests are unimaginably complex, in so many dimensions, in varying intensities and time, can be overbearing, really overbearing. Losing faith really has nothing to do with your fortunes. Only Syaitan makes us join the dots. And we despair in God!

Read the story of our holy prophet. It might lift up your spirits.

About your aunt, a similar post was discussed about the likes of Nelson Mandela, will he go to hell?.. If you could find it. I'm useless with that..


eace:

 

[emem]

Re: I feel bad... It hit me again...

Thanks, and I didn't pray 4 prayers except Subu that day and it was kinda fast and careless. But then when it was time for Isha my head told me it's praying time and that I should start praying. So I did, and it was nice until now. I think it was yesterday. I feel empty and frustrated. You are right when you say that it is our free will to submit to Allah(swt). I love him very very much for all the blessings me and my family have now and forever. Allahuakbar.

 

[emem]

Restraint

Restraint - a way of limiting, controlling, or stopping something.

I'm practicing restraint. I want to master it. Especially in my life that I smoke and Astagfirullah, I use drugs. But soon enough I will quit. Inshaallah. The Prophet Muhammad(SAW) taught that we should lower our gaze upon women. I've also been doing this. I think it's a waste of time looking at the outside appearance of people especially here in a place where there are only few Muslims because it's a Christian-dominated region. Their revealing parts are not attractive to me right now. Thanks to Allah(SWT) and his Prophet Muhammad(SAW). And also, I'm trying to think now before I do. I've been wasting time reading that 'Bad Boy' thing on the net and trying to research about it because I'm not sure, I just got my, forgive me, Astagfirullah, I guess hard-headed attitude because of a problematic family upbringing since childhood and my Christian older brother is very influential. Yes, he's my older bro, so I may get qualities from him. I got into a lot of trouble when I was still like that making things a lot more complicated than it actually is in my life. It's time to be a 'Real Man' instead of pretending to be someone you're not.

Allahuakbar.

 

[Umm Abed]

Re: Restraint

You can do it bro, you can overcome all these vices, slowly, steadily but surely.

Just put your mind to it and have firm resolve that you want to become a better person insha'allah.

May Allah make it easy for you and reward you for your efforts.

 

[greenhill]

Re: Restraint

Go for it emem. You can only try your best. Allah loves those who struggle in His path.

It is a lifetime quest, so take it steady.


eace:

 

[azc]

Re: Restraint

Restraint - a way of limiting, controlling, or stopping something.I'm practicing restraint. I want to master it. Especially in my life that I smoke and Astagfirullah, I use drugs. But soon enough I will quit. Inshaallah. The Prophet Muhammad(SAW) taught that we should lower our gaze upon women. I've also been doing this. I think it's a waste of time looking at the outside appearance of people especially here in a place where there are only few Muslims because it's a Christian-dominated region. Their revealing parts are not attractive to me right now. Thanks to Allah(SWT) and his Prophet Muhammad(SAW). And also, I'm trying to think now before I do. I've been wasting time reading that 'Bad Boy' thing on the net and trying to research about it because I'm not sure, I just got my, forgive me, Astagfirullah, I guess hard-headed attitude because of a problematic family upbringing since childhood and my Christian older brother is very influential. Yes, he's my older bro, so I may get qualities from him. I got into a lot of trouble when I was still like that making things a lot more complicated than it actually is in my life. It's time to be a 'Real Man' instead of pretending to be someone you're not.Allahuakbar.

kudos to you

 

[emem]

A Brother In Need

My brothers in Islam,

Assalaamo alaykum. An accident happened last March 7, 2016 where I fell from the terrace 3rd Floor. Fortunately, I landed with my two feet but suffered multiple fracture, including vertebral bone fracture. I am flat on bed and paralyzed in a hospital and still waiting for the purchase on metal implants so an orthopedic operation wil be performed on me so I can rise up up again to pray. Both of my feet were fractured including my pelvic bone, and right wrist (humeros). I am appealing for your sense and compassion and generosity. The metal implants costs P200,000.00 and my parents are still looking for benefactors so the operation can be performed.

May Allah bless us all.

 

[azc]

Re: A Brother In Need

May Allah swt recover your health soon. Ameen

 

[emem]

I'm now limp and being followed by ghosts

I even want to commit suicide by consuming cigarette butts all the way.

Oh Allah(swt)! Please help me! I can't do this without you!

It's because I've been followed by ghosts that mimic every thought or feeling of my soul but mostly thought and on a scale of 1-5 the volume is 2 or 1.75. I jumped on a 3rd floor high terrace 2 feet first on clean tile bam! I also have thoughts first of doing parkour and becoming like David Belle, the world's best parkour artist, as far as I know. I was high on drugs too those times. And I thought it because the ghosts are already saying malicious stuffs and I can't take it anymore. Maybe you hear it? At first they just saying mostly those things from the pic but only that. There is Sophia who can mimic almost all of what I'm thinking. The others can but they have certain limitations. I try to control but I guess only Allah(swt) will understand. I think he made it this way of my life so others will know even I a Muslim, has a mind, something like that. I was born on November the fifth.

I've posted a comment on this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYpgAxBnajQ. It's kinda long you can read it to know more of the reasons I've written there a story of why this happened even the faces of spirits lurking in every corner of this universe. I am the reason why. I know. That's why the spirits are calling my name. I feel like a terrorist they speak my mind. It's not good, maybe you're thinking. It's bad. I don't like it. But I try to accept but it hurts. Anyways, I keep on faith.

I will be posting on a comment a blog where I also share my dreams that now I can't do. A doctor said after 2 years I can stand up. Whatever Allah(swt) wills. Yes. One of my dreams is to make Ignite Puffs or the world's first half cigarette. Try to imagine. From using secondhand cigarettes I came to this and I even do it back then every time. I go out and pick up on the streets and I come home full of it. Imagine you won't see anybody doing that after the cigarettes are now easy to finish. You think?

InshaAllah. This note will remain in your memory until you die. Ignite will happen. It will. In time.

I'm worried. I don't want to cause much trouble. I'm still with my family but others are already married and one will be later on. I want to die alone but whatever Allah(swt) wills. Yes. Indeed. When I die, being a scorpion, someone will be born again.

 

[ReboundMuslimah]

Re: I'm now limp and being followed by ghosts

Uh.. Are u alright? I hope you're not trolling and you're thread is really confusing I still don't know what you are going on about.

 

[cooterhein]

Re: I'm now limp and being followed by ghosts

I was high on drugs too those times.

What sort of drugs were those?

 

[Pyrrhic]

Re: I'm now limp and being followed by ghosts

I even want to commit suicide by consuming cigarette butts all the way.

Oh Allah(swt)! Please help me! I can't do this without you!

It's because I've been followed by ghosts that mimic every thought or feeling of my soul but mostly thought and on a scale of 1-5 the volume is 2 or 1.75. I jumped on a 3rd floor high terrace 2 feet first on clean tile bam! I also have thoughts first of doing parkour and becoming like David Belle, the world's best parkour artist, as far as I know. I was high on drugs too those times. And I thought it because the ghosts are already saying malicious stuffs and I can't take it anymore. Maybe you hear it? At first they just saying mostly those things from the pic but only that. There is Sophia who can mimic almost all of what I'm thinking. The others can but they have certain limitations. I try to control but I guess only Allah(swt) will understand. I think he made it this way of my life so others will know even I a Muslim, has a mind, something like that. I was born on November the fifth.

I've posted a comment on this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYpgAxBnajQ. It's kinda long you can read it to know more of the reasons I've written there a story of why this happened even the faces of spirits lurking in every corner of this universe. I am the reason why. I know. That's why the spirits are calling my name. I feel like a terrorist they speak my mind. It's not good, maybe you're thinking. It's bad. I don't like it. But I try to accept but it hurts. Anyways, I keep on faith.

I will be posting on a comment a blog where I also share my dreams that now I can't do. A doctor said after 2 years I can stand up. Whatever Allah(swt) wills. Yes. One of my dreams is to make Ignite Puffs or the world's first half cigarette. Try to imagine. From using secondhand cigarettes I came to this and I even do it back then every time. I go out and pick up on the streets and I come home full of it. Imagine you won't see anybody doing that after the cigarettes are now easy to finish. You think?

InshaAllah. This note will remain in your memory until you die. Ignite will happen. It will. In time.

I'm worried. I don't want to cause much trouble. I'm still with my family but others are already married and one will be later on. I want to die alone but whatever Allah(swt) wills. Yes. Indeed. When I die, being a scorpion, someone will be born again.

Dear brother, Every 2 hours, A person under the age of 25 suicide. 40% of high school students have seriously thought about attempting suicide. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15-24 year old and its the 6th leading cause of death for 5-15 year old. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This beautiful life doesn't have to end like this. This is the bravest thing that you continue life when you wanted to die. Please dont give up.


Remember Don't use drugs or alcohol, cigarettes to escape your problems. Its like you are in a hole and you are digging it deep. So please don't keep digging. Don't do anything that you don't feel comfortable with. Just Don't give up even if you have tried and failed before. The road to recovery mostly involves bumps and setbacks.


The toughest step toward recovery is the very first one which is deciding to make a change. Build a sober social network. There are many exercises and tips out there if you search.


My advice for you to start reading life of Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Think about them. Fall in love with Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Your all problems will be inshallah solved. Take care.

 

[Aaqib]

Re: I'm now limp and being followed by ghosts

Welcome back, if this is the actual emem from months ago.

 

[emem]

Hi there. It's me, Emem. Missed this forum. I'm limp now. But that's not the matter here for the moment. I'll be standing up again anyways. What I want to know is this. Please. Help me. So super seriously. I've asked before on FB but I'm not kinda winning there at the mean time(I don't get few likes and comments), but I am changing. So, I asked there, but no one replied. I just asked a few times but I even posted another one a while ago on some page. I've already asked some of my family members, but all they say is NO. I'm thinking maybe they're just afraid to tell the truth. So right now, with all God's Glory, I finally hope this question of mine will be truthfully answered at last. I trust you brothers and sisters! Please, I'm begging. Tell me the PLAIN TRUTH, PLEASE, if you hear ghosts especially a girl who you might noticed says "UWI" or close to the word "WEE". For my peace of mind, my friend. Please. Tell me. I don't want to commit suicide. I already attempted but failed cause at the back of my mind the Quran's teachings that if you commit suicide, you'll go to hell appears. So, right now, I beg you. Please tell me the truth. Please!mg: Salam to all.

PS. They speak what is inside my mind!!! Holy Quran! Holy Quran! Please, help me... This is not a joke. I swear to Allah.

 

[greenhill]

I don't know what you are saying..

All I know is that you are confused and not getting answers. I probably missed your question as I have not been very active for some time. (and I might miss it again)..

Whatever it is, don't kill yourself. Never think about it.


eace:

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

Re: I feel bad... It hit me again...

Are you trolling or just high fr

 

[emem]

I'm very sorry if I made you confused about my situation. I'm just making sure I don't disturb anybody. My first thought about it was that the ghosts voices(that do not stop as I am still alive and thinking, cause they tell what's inside my mind and they know it, all of it), that it was heard all over, even on the far end of the world, or universe, or all! But when I was in the hospital, I thought hm... maybe not. Oh yeah? I only hear the volume on a 1.5 or 2 on a 5 scale. Yeah... I just hope I don't disturb anybody. Pardon me if I cannot reply immediately to everybody. I have work here to do. Ha ha. An entrep biz. Wish me luck, mates! Thank you all for your active lifestyles.

 

[Al Sultan]

Assalamo alikum brother emem....

It seems that you seriously need help... and the problem here is, you're not specifically stating what problem you have, is it that you are questioning why did Allah create us? what will happen to your Christian aunt who should go to hell for something she doesn't know? (I don't know what that means tbh) , Your smoking addiction? and drug addiction? or you're thinking about suicide?

Be specific brother, even half of those who have read this were somewhat lost to what you are trying to say, we will help as much as we can.

But brother, never ever think of suicide, it is extremely haram and if one commits suicide will go to hell, even the Quran talks about this (Quran 4:29)

And tell us your problem one by one and we will help you, and be specific as well, may Allah guide you brother.

Wa asslamo alikum wa rahmutillahi wa barakato.

 

[sister herb]

Salam alaykum brother emem

Have you met a doctor? If you hear voices and feel yourself depressed/panic/want to make suicide, you might be better to ask some professional help. Posting to FB or forums isn´t same than talk about those feelings with some other person, like with doctor.