I pray usually 2 or 3 times a day, which is terrible.
The fact that I don't pray 5 times a day makes me hate myself, I feel so lonely. I'm starting to get used to listening to music (which is not good) and not Quran that much anymore. How can I get back on my prayers so I can feel alright again? I just feel lonely and I don't want to do anything...
Assalaamu alaikum Aaqib,
(smile) You pray 2 or 3 times a day... that's wonderful! (smile) Yes, it would be even better if you prayed all the mandatory prayers, and even more lovely if you did some extra prayers... but what you are doing is certainly good, don't you think?
(pensively) It seems to me that when we focus too much on the half-emptiness of our mortal glasses, we tend to become discouraged and be blinded to their half-fullness. (smile) Aaqib, we
all have our failings. But we need to get up from our falls, humbly admit to Allah and assess what we have done, and how we can be better... and then we need to get on with the business of trying to do what is better.
(smile) You say you pray 2 or 3 times a day... and you feel badly about this. How about you say to yourself: ok, this is a problem. I shall commit to doing at least 3 full prayers a day. And then stick to it.
Then, I'd suggest you try going for walks in nature (it's proven to be very beneficial for your physical and mental health to do this... and it is well-known as a way to replenish your connection with God). Commit to once a week, for at least 30 minutes. And stick to it. (smile) And don't be shy to smile and speak with people that you may meet on your walks!
(smile) And then build on your successes. After 3 or 4 prayers, stick to 4. After one walk a week, expand it to 2. (smile) And so on.
(smile) Sudden big changes in our behaviour tend not to stick, and depress us when we can't maintain them. But if we break the efforts up into smaller pieces, and enjoy our small successes... we are much more liable to succeed. And realizing that our physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual needs are interconnected... helps us to seek more complete ways to live in harmony with Allah's Will. (smile) Or so I believe.
May Allah, the Generous, Gift us with insights that lift us closer to Him