How do I cope with wiswas fear of abandonment?

[SintoDinto]

I have OCD, and borderline like traits, I have a great fear of abandonment, and I always obsess over women because of a deep psychological problem related to fear of abandonment, and fear of divorcing later on or my future wife dying or being arrested wrongfully, or kidnapped and raped or arrested wrongfully and raped, and I greatly fear being unable to protect my wife, or daughters, or sons due to what I have heard of in Muslim lands, including my parents' home country. I was told by an imam I have a heart full of love that people can not tolerate because it is too much. This is because I try to latch on and never let go. Too many people have wounded me. I don't want someone else to wound me.

 

[IslamLife00]

You can't control other people's actions, what they want to do or say to you or about you.
We all will return to Allah, all of us, no exception. This dunya is temporary. Don't expect anything to last - happy times, dark times - nothing is meant to last here.
Fear itself is not a bad thing. But if you let it overcome you and get in the way of your ibadah, then it's time you need to fight it
because what you need to fear is Allah, not all the things that you described.
Love itself is not a bad thing either, but it goes both ways. You need to love yourself as well, means you have to be able to let go and let people live their lives.
otherwise you can't move on and you will be stuck running around in a vicious circle. How is that good for you?
Even your ibadah will be affected, because your mind is stuck in matters of this dunya.
If you have children, they are souls that Allah has entrusted to you. Even in this matter, you have the responsibility to raise them in Islam, which means you have to live Islam yourself.
The only things certain in this dunya : it is temporary and it is a test. You will return to Allah, and you don't want to fail the test. So think about this, anytime you obsess over matters of this dunya.