One thing I will say .... ( I am assuming here you have no kids). Try and picture yourself in 5 years time, you have a baby boy, your pride and joy, the first ten years of his life at least you give up full on, to put him before yourself I.e you feed him, wash him, clothe him, you are exhausted sometimes but the responsibility never ends because you are a mother/father so even if you have had a long day/ long week, you keep going, your son is very active so he is always keeping you on your toes, you are always running about ( this is not in reference to your ADHD, but to being a parent and boys are usually much more energetic and on the go than girls). You cook, clean, make sure your son is happy, take him to school, pick him up. Put him to bed etc. You basically never have nothing to do. Your life revolves completely around your son. Try and genuinely picture it if you can please. Let's fast forward years later you find out your son has ADHD, you didn't chose this as a parent, and your child did not chose this. No one did. It is no one's fault. But you put your faith as a parent for your doctor to make this better, to be able to manage and reduce the symptoms. You feel relieved inchallah things are going to get better, you think.The last thing on earth that you expect is that the GP has in fact over prescribed your son, yet it has happened and because of it you all go through hell, your son is confused, he is starting to behave worse, you as a parent are then challenged, your son starts getting aggressive toward you and then one day he hits you. Your kid who you have given up your life for, and who you would die for ( I'm sure if a car was about to run you over your mum would instinctively jump first in front to save you ) then hits you. Basically you then ALL become entwined and carrying feeling of anger, confusion, hurt, betrayal, and you all have your own way of dealing with it. You might have acted violently, maybe another family member might have withdrew themselves in silence, one might have tried to make out everything was normal, another of you might have spent the whole time crying. Everyone reacts to things differently. But can't you see it was none of your faults. It is just the unfortunate chain of events that was bound to you because of your DOCTOR. Your family didn't ask for it. They are not psychologists nor are they experts in medication. For this part of the story at least, place the blame on the doctor. It is very hard being a parent and if you can put yourself in their position, how hard it must have been for them to manage it all. Perhaps you all made wrong decisions in how to deal with things along the way, but you were all thrown into the deep end. You all deserve sympathy. I am glad you want to make things better and I truly understand that it must have been a horrible experience for you too, how alone and isolated you must have felt, and that no one but "you" felt the pain you were going through but trust me they ( your parents ) experienced another type of pain. You cannot change the past. But you can fix things between you and your family for sure. Alot has happened and sometimes all it takes is small but meaningful gestures to begin that journey of repair, and in other aspects it will take time. Time is a healer. Maybe if you can start by little things such as : going to hug your mum and telling her, how sorry you are for hitting her when you were younger and that when you remember it it breaks your heart and you hope she can forgive you ". Even if it feels weird or awkward for you to do this and say out of character if you are all not naturally touchy feely, still DO IT, TRUST me the happiness this will fill your mums heart with, it will be worth it. Even if you feel there are things she done wrong, one step at a time. Please be the bigger person first and do this.
eace: