Assalamualaikum, Mustafa. How are you today?.
I will tell you a secret that I have never revealed it in the forum before. The secret is .... I have ever rejected by a girl when I was teenager.
That's began when I meet a girl, and I saw her as an attractive girl. Immediately I felt a feeling in my heart. I let this feeling being stronger and stonger, and I told myself that I must have her. I started to approach her, and started to chase her when she tried to avoid me. Until finally I met her in an evening, but she told me to go away and stop approaching her. That's like a heavy punch for the sensitive guy like me. Not only felt disappointed, I also felt very ashamed.
But that's also gave me a great lesson, getting spouse is difference than buying t-shirt. If I want to buy t-shirt I could go to a shop, choose the t-shirt that I like, buy, and the t-shirt being mine. But if I want to get spouse?. I might be interested to someone. But how if she was not interested to me?. How if she rejected me?. So I promised myself, I will never again let myself fall in love to someone who is not mine.
I began to train myself to control my lust when I see or interact with a woman, because I didn't want that hurtful experience happen to me again. In another side I tried to develop myself to become a good man, because I believe if I could be a good man, then in the future there must a woman who will be willing to marry me. I also develop an ability to raise a love for someone who is willing to be my life-partner.
And do you know, Mustafa?. It gave me great advantage. I became a guy who look positive in the girls eyes. It gave me easiness to have life-partner.
I was not lying when my friend asked me how did I get my wife. I told him, I didn't get my wife, but my wife got me. It's true. My late wife was a beautiful woman. Many men approached her and trued to get her. But instead of accept one of them, she rejected all of them and decided to come to me, who didn't ever tried to get her. My beloved late wife ever admit that what made her interested to me was my ability to control my lust toward women. It made me looked very good in her eyes.
This is the advantage you would get if you could control your lust toward women, and could control yourself to not fall in love to someone who is not yours. Can you?. If I can, so you can too. What you need is strong willingness.
Mustafa, from your previous posts I know that you have few experience which you were attracted to a girl, but she tried to avoid you.This is a rejection, actually. So, why don't you learn from your experiences?. Now you let yourself fall in love to someone who is not yours. What for?. To then be rejected?. To then feel hurt when you find her accept another man?. Try to thinking longer, Mustafa.
Try to imagine the positive impact you will get if your able to control your lust, if you are able to control your heart. Now focus to your study while develop yourself to become the good man. In the future when you have ready to get married, In Shaa Allah, you will get an an easiness like easiness that I ever experienced.
