I normally don't share my sins as Rasulullah (PBUH) said that if you reveal your sins they count against you, and I hesitated to post this, but I've decided I need help....
I am 17 year old, and a brother, and over the past few years my biggest temptation has been women and girls......
Since I could not acquire a girlfriend as I have poor social skills, it's haram, and the girls in my Turkish american cultural center are religious and don't date, I turned to pornography....In fact, I turned to pornography far before then, even in the 7th grade I started watching rape scenes.....At first, for the first few years, I felt no shame or guilt......As I was not very religious for a while, and always justified it in my mind. But as I became more religious, since I kept getting locked up in mental hospitals and once in the RYDC (regional youth detention center) for violence, I turned to religion, and ever since I have tried to be a good Muslim and I think I take it seriously....but the porn did not go away.....I would swear to never do it again, only to do it again, over and over, and over, and over, and over again. I even made salat al tawbah often, but nope, I still ended up doing it.....I feel like I should limit my computer usage, as I have been semi-addicted to the computer for many years now......I can't stop, and no matter how hard I try, the urge overwhelms me astaghfirullah.......I want to stop, but I have enormous temptation....what should I do....?
I am 17 year old, and a brother, and over the past few years my biggest temptation has been women and girls......
Since I could not acquire a girlfriend as I have poor social skills, it's haram, and the girls in my Turkish american cultural center are religious and don't date, I turned to pornography....In fact, I turned to pornography far before then, even in the 7th grade I started watching rape scenes.....At first, for the first few years, I felt no shame or guilt......As I was not very religious for a while, and always justified it in my mind. But as I became more religious, since I kept getting locked up in mental hospitals and once in the RYDC (regional youth detention center) for violence, I turned to religion, and ever since I have tried to be a good Muslim and I think I take it seriously....but the porn did not go away.....I would swear to never do it again, only to do it again, over and over, and over, and over, and over again. I even made salat al tawbah often, but nope, I still ended up doing it.....I feel like I should limit my computer usage, as I have been semi-addicted to the computer for many years now......I can't stop, and no matter how hard I try, the urge overwhelms me astaghfirullah.......I want to stop, but I have enormous temptation....what should I do....?