[MENTION=36347]OmAbdullah[/MENTION]
I have mental illnesses which I can't even explain, and which my understanding of modern psychiatry can't explain, and even my psychiatrist has not found a proper diagnosis (in my opinion, and she does not explain well....i dont know what autism, adhd, and ocd and anxiety have to do with this).
Symptoms:
When even the tiniest of things becomes a plan, I obsess on it so much that i defeat the entire purpose of the benefit derived from the plan, by obsessing, aggressively (VERY aggressively) calling people, yelling at people, (even my own mother, and lately it's gotten worse), and having panic attacks which make me feel like I'm going to pass out, or like my eyeballs or rolling backwards into my head, or like i become disoriented, or like i feel the need to self harm, or where i become abnormally afraid once i do something TOO drastic or when i do something off topic somewhat related to the topic.
I try curing it by slowing down myself with milk, yogurt, medication, or herb tea, but that only makes it worse.
So i drink coffee and coca cola...but that makes it even worse.
I lie and curl up in my bed or on the floor hiding beneath a blanket and say strange things which don't make sense to me and which I don't care about once the episode is over, and fear abnormally, and feel extreme shame.
When i exceedbounds, the tiniest of things makes me overwhelmingly relieved or overjoyed, or panic to the point that the panic itself is worse than what could actually happen as a result of what i did.
two nights ago, i took 3 sleeping pills, with the intent to fall into a deep, coma-like sleep, and instead became drunk and recovered.
i also rage far beyond the whole point of being angry.
help?
I have mental illnesses which I can't even explain, and which my understanding of modern psychiatry can't explain, and even my psychiatrist has not found a proper diagnosis (in my opinion, and she does not explain well....i dont know what autism, adhd, and ocd and anxiety have to do with this).
Symptoms:
When even the tiniest of things becomes a plan, I obsess on it so much that i defeat the entire purpose of the benefit derived from the plan, by obsessing, aggressively (VERY aggressively) calling people, yelling at people, (even my own mother, and lately it's gotten worse), and having panic attacks which make me feel like I'm going to pass out, or like my eyeballs or rolling backwards into my head, or like i become disoriented, or like i feel the need to self harm, or where i become abnormally afraid once i do something TOO drastic or when i do something off topic somewhat related to the topic.
I try curing it by slowing down myself with milk, yogurt, medication, or herb tea, but that only makes it worse.
So i drink coffee and coca cola...but that makes it even worse.
I lie and curl up in my bed or on the floor hiding beneath a blanket and say strange things which don't make sense to me and which I don't care about once the episode is over, and fear abnormally, and feel extreme shame.
When i exceedbounds, the tiniest of things makes me overwhelmingly relieved or overjoyed, or panic to the point that the panic itself is worse than what could actually happen as a result of what i did.
two nights ago, i took 3 sleeping pills, with the intent to fall into a deep, coma-like sleep, and instead became drunk and recovered.
i also rage far beyond the whole point of being angry.
help?