How do you get over this feeling?

[TheMirza]

How do you get over the feeling of losing something or someone forever? When a person dies, you still have hope and faith that you will meet them in jannah, but how do reverts get over the thought that they might never see their parents in jannah? When someone breaks up after a haraam relationship, you know there's no getting back together anywhere, not here not in jannah, you will be with someone else. How do you accept that, that was it?

 

[Delete.]

A'salamu alaykum. Our beloved Nabi salaAllahu alayhi wa salam said, "You will be with who you love." It is hard to understand because we only have a little bit of knowledge, that Allah chose to give to us. Jannah is Jannah, you won't feel any hurt, or sorrow, or worry, etc. It's absolutely nothing like this dunya, nothing we ever felt before. If we make it there, in sha Allah. If you truly want to be with your parents in Jannah, don't be afraid of giving them dawah. Give it your best effort to bring them to Islam, even by just constantly making Dua for them. As for being in a pre-marital relationship, there is only one kind of love and that is love for the sake of Allah. Think of that relationship as a lesson for you, it wasn't truly love. Repent to Allah, and go closer to Him. When you love someone for the sake of Allah you will be with them in Jannah, in sha Allah. When you sacrifice something for the sake of Allah, He gives you something better in return. It is His promise, and His promise is always true. It really helps to think that we will be blessed by Allah Azzawajal's own Presence! SubhanAllah.. and we will be with our beloved Nabi! In sha Allah ta'ala. It is truly better than anything we could ever think of or ask for. If we have that, it's really all we need. As for the relationships of this dunya, they are our trial, and ultimately Jannah is our goal, no matter what we have to sacrifice to get there. I hope this could give you some comfort, sister. And Allah knows best.

 

[*charisma*]

How do you get over the feeling of losing something or someone forever?

I think with time it gets easier, but no one really gets over losing someone important to them. I think we can take into comfort knowing that Allah is merciful and we have the ability to pray for those we lose. We are prescribed to pray and remember that death will come to us all one day. We have to work on helping those we care about and love stay on the right path so that we can attain comfort in knowing that they were from among those guided.

When a person dies, you still have hope and faith that you will meet them in jannah, but how do reverts get over the thought that they might never see their parents in jannah?

I'm not a revert, but those who attain jannah will not feel pain. I'm sure it's very hard for them in this life to not have believing parents.

When someone breaks up after a haraam relationship, you know there's no getting back together anywhere, not here not in jannah, you will be with someone else. How do you accept that, that was it?

You learn to love Allah more than anything in this world, and then you will not care about a fruitless relationship with no foundation. If you are able to be with someone else then you should be able to get over them.

As Muslims we need to learn to accept Allah's decree and find comfort in His decisions for us. You will be in misery if you dwell on the "what ifs" and "why me's" We all will die someday and we will all rise again in the afterlife.

 

[TheMirza]

I would like to hear more advice, if any. Thanks

 

[Delete.]

I would like to hear more advice, if any. Thanks

Sure, sister. Something that we all have to realise is that this dunya and everything in it is a deception, and the only truth is Allah. This dunya is fleeting, and Allah is Eternal. It is such a simple concept, but extremely hard to put into practice because we all get so caught up in our relationships, our work, or whatever it may be. We forget about Allah, who is the one in charge of all of it, SubhanAllah. Maybe your disbelieving parents, and your past relationships, are all a trial for you.. and Allah knows best about your situation, sister. But if you think of it this way, then each of your actions will be for the sake of Allah, to pass this trial. So moving forward, always try to think that "Could this situation of mine be a trial?" And immediately after think about "Am I passing this trial? Will what I do next please or displease Allah?" It's a test, sister. A deception to bring us closer to Allah. So go close to Him, and everything will fall into place. Even if you remain sad, and worried until your last day in this dunya, if you always continue to go near to Allah, He will put your affairs in order and reward you in Akhira in sha Allah ta'ala.

 

[aaj]

Regarding the parents, siblings and loved ones, while they are alive there is still hope. One can strive to do their utmost to give them dawaah and invite them to Islam as well make lots of dua that Allah guides them. So long as you are alive, you are alive and they are alive, so keep striving to do this with the hope of them being saved. If at the end they passed away without converting then that is something you would have to accept as the decree of Allah. It is hard and sad knowing where they will end up, and there really isn't much you can do except giving it all you had. Allah guides those who deep within their hearts really are open to it plus the duas made for their guidance helps as well.

As for those who passed away already, then you have to accept that too as a decree of Allah. For those who died without knowing Islam, they will have one more chance on Judgement day. A final test from Allah, a make it or break it deal. There is always hope that they get that as one last chance to return to their Lord.

Otherwise, one has to realize that everything is in the hands of Allah and we have to accept that as His decree and come to terms with it.

Regarding the relationship partners. Why would one want to see them again if they are part of your past? If you are no longer together and they have moved on then should you not as well? How many of those bf/gf are you still in touch with since you first had your bf/gf? That's just part of the circle of life in the west. However, if they are still friends you value then you can do the same for them as well and give them dawaah. If they accept it then they will be your brother/sister in faith and you may see them in jannah. If not then that is the decision of their heart and decree of Allah. And you would have to accept that.

One last thing, in Jannah you get whatever you wish for as a reward so long as it is not against the decree of Allah (such as taking a non_Muslim out of the fire). But with that said, if you want to see someone and they are in the hell fire then a meeting can be arranged. Allah will allow you to see them and see how they are doing. Of course, being free of sad feelings you will be in different frame of mind so not sure how you would take it at that time.

But yes, some may get over it and some may never get over it. To be at peace one has to accept it for what it is and come to terms with it. Do your best to give dawah, pray for the best, and leave the rest to Allah.