Umm Salama
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As Salam Alaikum Wr Wb
My Story how I became a muslim alhumdolillah.
NOTE VERY LONG
The search started when I was 8 years old. I didnt really have a religion but I had a very dificult life and I needed to feel that there would be someone watching out for me and someone to protect me.
My family life was very difficult to say the least. I was abussed in every way posible and we were very poor. I sometimes had to wear my older bothers clothing and even hand me downs from my elderly babysitter. My shoes were always with holes and when I did get a new pair well it was the cheapest kind posible. But this gave me caracture and made me greatful for what I do have in life. As I got older my mom divorced her sick abussing husband but to only bring sick men of all sorts into her home. Unfortunatly not considering her children who live with her. Fun to her was getting drunk gambiling and going out all the time not teaching or taking care of her 4 children.
I needed love of any kind but the one that I wanted the most was the love of Allah. Subhnallah. I went to church just because thats all I knew I was 8 years old but I had grown up very fast, I had too.
I remember that I use to walk with the priest of the church that I atteneded and I use to ask him all kinds of questions. weather he can answer them or not is beyond me as I forget subhnallah but one always stayed in my mind. I asked him how I can become a christian and he told me it was better for me to just stay the way I was. As It would take to long to become a christian. After that I flet left out at the church. When all the people would walk up and eat the yucky stal bread I had to remain seated as I was not ALLOWED to eat this. So my friend would save it in her mouth and break it in 1/2 so we can share. Silly hu.
Gradully I stoped going to church. I could never find the answers or the love I was looking for. I moved to another part of town And joind High school, but in the back of my mind I was still missing something. During my first year of high school a roumer pasted that I was a rasist which I wasnt but none the less every raise that attened the school wanted a piece of me. :rant:
One of the groups were lebnani muslim girls. I didnt know that they were muslims simply that they were arabic speaking. I remember that while they were encerceling me I yelled out "WHY WOULD I BE A RAISIST I AM A MUSLIM" Shocked? I know I was. I dont even know how I said this or where it came from but from that day on I said I am a muslim to anyone who asked me. What Islam ment I dont know I didnt know anything. All I knew is what I saw Hijab. So I knew that muslim women wore hijab. And I loved it and longed for it but my shyness pervented me from asking any questions about it.
Time pased and when I was 16 I moved in with one of my mothers friends to care for her baby. As she wanted to work. Well on my time off I met an egyption guy playing basket ball with his friends. He brought me home to his family and they starting asking me questions, about my family and about me. I never knew my father so I use to make things up about him what ever seemed pleasing at the time. So this time he is a brother from Lebanon his name was shaddy lol and he was an enginer. WEll the next Question was this made up man christian or muslim. Well it took me time to think about it, but in the end I said hes a muslim,I made this boys aunt hate him by the way. But astferallah I didnt understand what I was doing. A girl growing up with out her dad is not easy subhnallah and although alot of us do I know from my own experience that I longed for a dad when I was younger. Anyways the family was so over joyed because my made up dad was a muslim which in turn made me a muslim. So they continuded to tell me that I am a muslim as well. And this is the first time I asked any questions. and my first question was what is MUSLIM lol ;D :statisfie So thye continuded to tell the that muslims belive in all the prothets and that Mohammad (saws) was the last of the prophets and I said yes I guess I am a muslim as this is what I belive. Unfortunitly they failed to tell me about tawheed. And so I didnt know about Allah but now I know I belong to something. I continuded to live as a kafr as I was still very ignorent about islam. I was still not finished high school and one of my friedns said I dont belive you are a muslim and I insisted that I was so she made me take shahada all over agian. My first Eid I bought a hijab the 2 pic kind and since we both didnt know how to wear it I chocked my self to death. That night I swore that if I ever got a "REAL HIjAB" I would wear one forever. Well over the next few days I met with some muslims who were of a different sect of islam whom I do not belive are muslims aoothoo billah. And they gave me some hijabs. The next day to my brothers shock I was wearing hijab like I promised I would do. So here I am totally ignorant about islam wearing overalls a long sleved shirt (I looked like I was going to work on a farm lol) and my hijab. All he said was your wearing that thing now and I said yes and we went on our way. when news started to get out about me I had perposals some were not "REAL" and some were. there was one inperticulare he wanted to marry me but I refussed him I had just turned 18 and at that time all I knew about was styal and dunya, So he went to this man wa aoothoo billah to have him convince me to marry him. Unforunatlly for the both of us this man was a cheeter and a lier. He called himself a muslim but he never prayed he told me that he wanted to teach me about islam and thats what lured me in. To make a long story short he fradulently put me in debt over $5000.00 which of course I didnt have and he was very abusive. when I tried to runaway from him he tried to rip my clothing off of me and told me if I leave then I will have to leave naked and of course which women would do that. He was a different sect of islam whom I do not belive are muslims aoothoo billah.. That night I sat and cryed and I made duaa I said " Oh Allah this is not Islam please guide me to the real islam" The next day I was at my mothers home and the phone rang there was a sister she said U do not know me but I heard of you and I want to teach you about the real islam. Subhnallah la illaha ila lluh
She started to tell me about taweed what was halal no more pants for me no it was jilbab and hijab. a few weeks later my mother tore into my room at 6am (fajr time but I did not know that I was still not praying yet) swore at me and kicked me out of her house. Ya Allah I just ignorded her and went back to sleep as who can I call at that time?? Then at 9am the phone kept ringing and I was getting :rant: becasue I wanted to sleep. So I answered it. It was the same sister. She said get dressed there is a rooming house for only sisters and there is a space for you there. WE have to go now and see it.
So I went alhumdolillah And moved in. It was duringm y stay there that a sister noticed that I didnt pray and she asked me about it. I told her in shock oh I have to pray and so mushallah she took it upon herself to teach me. It took me one day to learn Suraht Al-fatiha and by isha time I was actully making my salah. mushallah.
And alhumdolillah 6 years almost 7 years later I am now a practicing sunni muslima who teaches taweed to all......
And of course to the new muslimahs as I do not want them to have to go through what I did. The truth pervales and Allah wanted me as one of his slaves alhumdolillahi Rubill alameen
As Salam Alaikum Wr Wb
Umm Salama :thankyou:
Ps Sorry it was soo long
My Story how I became a muslim alhumdolillah.
NOTE VERY LONG
The search started when I was 8 years old. I didnt really have a religion but I had a very dificult life and I needed to feel that there would be someone watching out for me and someone to protect me.
My family life was very difficult to say the least. I was abussed in every way posible and we were very poor. I sometimes had to wear my older bothers clothing and even hand me downs from my elderly babysitter. My shoes were always with holes and when I did get a new pair well it was the cheapest kind posible. But this gave me caracture and made me greatful for what I do have in life. As I got older my mom divorced her sick abussing husband but to only bring sick men of all sorts into her home. Unfortunatly not considering her children who live with her. Fun to her was getting drunk gambiling and going out all the time not teaching or taking care of her 4 children.
I needed love of any kind but the one that I wanted the most was the love of Allah. Subhnallah. I went to church just because thats all I knew I was 8 years old but I had grown up very fast, I had too.
I remember that I use to walk with the priest of the church that I atteneded and I use to ask him all kinds of questions. weather he can answer them or not is beyond me as I forget subhnallah but one always stayed in my mind. I asked him how I can become a christian and he told me it was better for me to just stay the way I was. As It would take to long to become a christian. After that I flet left out at the church. When all the people would walk up and eat the yucky stal bread I had to remain seated as I was not ALLOWED to eat this. So my friend would save it in her mouth and break it in 1/2 so we can share. Silly hu.
Gradully I stoped going to church. I could never find the answers or the love I was looking for. I moved to another part of town And joind High school, but in the back of my mind I was still missing something. During my first year of high school a roumer pasted that I was a rasist which I wasnt but none the less every raise that attened the school wanted a piece of me. :rant:
One of the groups were lebnani muslim girls. I didnt know that they were muslims simply that they were arabic speaking. I remember that while they were encerceling me I yelled out "WHY WOULD I BE A RAISIST I AM A MUSLIM" Shocked? I know I was. I dont even know how I said this or where it came from but from that day on I said I am a muslim to anyone who asked me. What Islam ment I dont know I didnt know anything. All I knew is what I saw Hijab. So I knew that muslim women wore hijab. And I loved it and longed for it but my shyness pervented me from asking any questions about it.
Time pased and when I was 16 I moved in with one of my mothers friends to care for her baby. As she wanted to work. Well on my time off I met an egyption guy playing basket ball with his friends. He brought me home to his family and they starting asking me questions, about my family and about me. I never knew my father so I use to make things up about him what ever seemed pleasing at the time. So this time he is a brother from Lebanon his name was shaddy lol and he was an enginer. WEll the next Question was this made up man christian or muslim. Well it took me time to think about it, but in the end I said hes a muslim,I made this boys aunt hate him by the way. But astferallah I didnt understand what I was doing. A girl growing up with out her dad is not easy subhnallah and although alot of us do I know from my own experience that I longed for a dad when I was younger. Anyways the family was so over joyed because my made up dad was a muslim which in turn made me a muslim. So they continuded to tell me that I am a muslim as well. And this is the first time I asked any questions. and my first question was what is MUSLIM lol ;D :statisfie So thye continuded to tell the that muslims belive in all the prothets and that Mohammad (saws) was the last of the prophets and I said yes I guess I am a muslim as this is what I belive. Unfortunitly they failed to tell me about tawheed. And so I didnt know about Allah but now I know I belong to something. I continuded to live as a kafr as I was still very ignorent about islam. I was still not finished high school and one of my friedns said I dont belive you are a muslim and I insisted that I was so she made me take shahada all over agian. My first Eid I bought a hijab the 2 pic kind and since we both didnt know how to wear it I chocked my self to death. That night I swore that if I ever got a "REAL HIjAB" I would wear one forever. Well over the next few days I met with some muslims who were of a different sect of islam whom I do not belive are muslims aoothoo billah. And they gave me some hijabs. The next day to my brothers shock I was wearing hijab like I promised I would do. So here I am totally ignorant about islam wearing overalls a long sleved shirt (I looked like I was going to work on a farm lol) and my hijab. All he said was your wearing that thing now and I said yes and we went on our way. when news started to get out about me I had perposals some were not "REAL" and some were. there was one inperticulare he wanted to marry me but I refussed him I had just turned 18 and at that time all I knew about was styal and dunya, So he went to this man wa aoothoo billah to have him convince me to marry him. Unforunatlly for the both of us this man was a cheeter and a lier. He called himself a muslim but he never prayed he told me that he wanted to teach me about islam and thats what lured me in. To make a long story short he fradulently put me in debt over $5000.00 which of course I didnt have and he was very abusive. when I tried to runaway from him he tried to rip my clothing off of me and told me if I leave then I will have to leave naked and of course which women would do that. He was a different sect of islam whom I do not belive are muslims aoothoo billah.. That night I sat and cryed and I made duaa I said " Oh Allah this is not Islam please guide me to the real islam" The next day I was at my mothers home and the phone rang there was a sister she said U do not know me but I heard of you and I want to teach you about the real islam. Subhnallah la illaha ila lluh
She started to tell me about taweed what was halal no more pants for me no it was jilbab and hijab. a few weeks later my mother tore into my room at 6am (fajr time but I did not know that I was still not praying yet) swore at me and kicked me out of her house. Ya Allah I just ignorded her and went back to sleep as who can I call at that time?? Then at 9am the phone kept ringing and I was getting :rant: becasue I wanted to sleep. So I answered it. It was the same sister. She said get dressed there is a rooming house for only sisters and there is a space for you there. WE have to go now and see it.
So I went alhumdolillah And moved in. It was duringm y stay there that a sister noticed that I didnt pray and she asked me about it. I told her in shock oh I have to pray and so mushallah she took it upon herself to teach me. It took me one day to learn Suraht Al-fatiha and by isha time I was actully making my salah. mushallah.
And alhumdolillah 6 years almost 7 years later I am now a practicing sunni muslima who teaches taweed to all......
And of course to the new muslimahs as I do not want them to have to go through what I did. The truth pervales and Allah wanted me as one of his slaves alhumdolillahi Rubill alameen
As Salam Alaikum Wr Wb
Umm Salama :thankyou:
Ps Sorry it was soo long
sis
