How much mahr or dower should you give to your wife?

Today, the concept has spread in people that the mahar should be minimized, which is as much as possible as much as possible or less but not more less then 10 dirham.
 
MazharShafiq said:
Today, the concept has spread in people that the mahar should be minimized, which is as much as possible as much as possible or less but not more less then 10 dirham.
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and some people demand beyond proper limit.
 
I paid my wife's student debts, which were something like 5000€ at the time.
 
Futuwwa said:
I paid my wife's student debts, which were something like 5000€ at the time.
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If you think that paying mahar is no more required after paying her debt, Then Scholar can be consulted
 
The minimum amount of mahr has been explained in the report in al-Saheeh (no. 1425) narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d al-Saa’idi, who said: “A woman came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I have come to give myself (in marriage) to you.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) looked at her and looked her up and down, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) lowered his head and paused. When the woman saw that he had not made a decision about her, she sat down. A man from among the Sahaabah said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, if you are not interested in her, then marry her to me.’ He said, ‘Do you have anything?’ He said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah.’ He said, ‘Go to your people and see if you can find anything.’ So the man went, then he came back and said, ‘No, by Allaah, I could not find anything.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Look and see (if you can find anything), even if it is only an iron ring which you can give.’ So he went, then came back, and said, ‘No, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, not even an iron ring. But (I have) this izaar (garment) of mine, she can have half of it.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘What can she do with your izaar? If you are wearing it she will have nothing of it.’ The man sat down, then after a long time had passed, he got up (to leave). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw him leaving and called him. When he came, he said, ‘What do you know of the Qur’aan?’ He said, ‘Soorah Such-and-such and Soorah Such-and-such.’ He said, ‘Do you know them by heart?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Then go, you are married to her by what you know of the Qur’aan.’”

This hadeeth shows that it is permissible for the mahr to be a little or a lot of whatever is considered to be wealth, if both partners agree, because an iron ring is extremely little. This is the madhhab of al-Shaafa’i and is also the view of the majority of scholars among the earlier and later generations. This was also the view of Rabee’ah, Abu’l-Zinaad, Ibn Abi Dhi’b, Yahyaa ibn Sa’eed, al-Layth ibn Sa’d, al-Thawri, al-Oozaa’i, Muslim ibn Khaalid, Ibn Abi Laylaa, Dawood, the fuqahaa’ of the scholars of hadeeth and Ibn Wahb among the companions of Maalik. It was also the view of all the scholars of the Hijaaz, Basrah, Kufa and Syria, and others, that whatever the couple agree upon is permissible (as a dowry), whether it is a lot or a little, such as a whip, a pair of shoes or an iron ring, etc.


IslamQA
 
Amount and form of mahar is varies, depend on the custom of society. In Indonesia the common main mahr is Qur'an. Even there are women who ask mahr in form of Qur'an recitation by the groom. This main mahr often added with money, but usually in small amount. In Indonesia is common if amount of mahr is less than US$ 100. But in Pakistan and Arabia the amount of mahr are far higher due to cultural difference.
 
ardianto said:
Amount and form of mahar is varies, depend on the custom of society. In Indonesia the common main mahr is Qur'an. Even there are women who ask mahr in form of Qur'an recitation by the groom. This main mahr often added with money, but usually in small amount. In Indonesia is common if amount of mahr is less than US$ 100. But in Pakistan and Arabia the amount of mahr are far higher due to cultural difference.
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Luckily, my mehar was Rs 2500 only whereas minimum Rs 50000 is generally given in our society. Thanks to my father in law. He was against the prevalent tradition
 
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Today's mahr is alimony in the secular laws. So if the couple are living in a secular (non-sharia) country the woman must not demand more than a symbolic amount if you ask me.
 
In some Muslim societies, like in Pakistan, after nikah the man will take the woman to join with his family. While in some other societies, like in Indonesia, after nikah the man will join with the woman's family.

In the first society which the woman join the man's family, amount of mahr usually high. Maybe it's because the woman family 'lost' their daughter. While in the second society which the man join the woman family, amount of mahr usually low. Maybe it's because the woman family do not 'lose' their daughter, and even they get new male member who must bear responsibility toward them.
 
ardianto said:
In some Muslim societies, like in Pakistan, after nikah the man will take the woman to join with his family. While in some other societies, like in Indonesia, after nikah the man will join with the woman's family. In the first society which the woman join the man's family, amount of mahr usually high. Maybe it's because the woman family 'lost' their daughter. While in the second society which the man join the woman family, amount of mahr usually low. Maybe it's because the woman family do not 'lose' their daughter, and even they get new male member who must bear responsibility toward them.
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Interesting tradition....! if the boy lives with wife's family he is called ''ghar jawa'ee'' and it's disliked in our society
 
azc said:
If you think that paying mahar is no more required after paying her debt, Then Scholar can be consulted
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Nah, I'm good. Some time afterward, I gave her nuclear power plant ownership shares.
 
anatolian said:
Today's mahr is alimony in the secular laws. So if the couple are living in a secular (non-sharia) country the woman must not demand more than a symbolic amount if you ask me.
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In USA and Canada and other countries that follow the Western world the mahr is high. The wife get to take 80 to 90% of her divorced husband and put him in the street. She also have the right to come back for more if she sees he is doing great again and he is getting a new car, the court will listen to her and she get to get more out of him and put him back in street. If he does good again here and she knows it...she have the right to go back to the court and demand for more and the court will listen to her and give her more.
 
xboxisdead said:
In USA and Canada and other countries that follow the Western world the mahr is high. The wife get to take 80 to 90% of her divorced husband and put him in the street. She also have the right to come back for more if she sees he is doing great again and he is getting a new car, the court will listen to her and she get to get more out of him and put him back in street. If he does good again here and she knows it...she have the right to go back to the court and demand for more and the court will listen to her and give her more.
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Bro, this thread is about mehar at the time of nikah (not divorce)
 
azc said:
Bro, this thread is about mehar at the time of nikah (not divorce)
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True. I agree 100%. But isn't the point of mehar that when the husband divorces the wife she get paid based on the mehar agreement? Exactly how does mehar work? Is mehar you pay right away or you pay after divorce or what? If a divorce does happen does the husband pay her even after he paid mehar? If he have to pay her, exactly how much is the cost of paying her and can there be hagel for such transaction?
 
xboxisdead said:
True. I agree 100%. But isn't the point of mehar that when the husband divorces the wife she get paid based on the mehar agreement? Exactly how does mehar work? Is mehar you pay right away or you pay after divorce or what? If a divorce does happen does the husband pay her even after he paid mehar? If he have to pay her, exactly how much is the cost of paying her and can there be hagel for such transaction?
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It may be true in exceptional cases, but generally, nikah doesn't come to an end by divorce.
 
xboxisdead said:
But isn't the point of mehar that when the husband divorces the wife she get paid based on the mehar agreement?
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Mahr is a gift that given by the groom to the bride when he marries her. It has nothing to do with what the wife can get if divorce happen.
 

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