how to lower gaze? Am i sinning greatly and bad muslim?

[Studentofdeed]

When i grew up, I was a very chubby and fat. Because of this i had very low self esteem. I was bullied and made fun of. Eventually i lost weight and got into shape. I have a hard time believing in myself and my looks. Yet lately everyone has been saying im good looking, and i have been getting attention from females. Of course im staying away and when i can i try to spread knowledge about islam, but the times i look or don't lower my gaze, i feel extremely guilty. I do not feel like a good muslim and feel like im going to hell. Im scared and the attention from the women is almost intimidating while intoxicating at the same time. People in the mosque say im ugly but im starting to realize they are lying or joking because they know i have bad self esteem. what steps can i do and how can i better muslim if having trouble lowering my gaze. Am i wronging women by not lowering my gaze? is it my fault if some girls find me attractive or if i find some of them attractive? Is it permissible for me to avoid all the female friends i had before i was religous? I had cut off contact with them but now i feel guitly and scared. Obviously i was nice and respectful but i feel bad. Should i stay in touch or what should i do? Please advise me, because sadly marriage is not for me right now especially since my muslim community neglects me due to my race. so my marraige will not happen for a another 2 years.

 

[xboxisdead]

I have a very positive reply to this post. You are suffering. You are suffering emotionally, you are suffering mentally and you are suffering psychologically. All of this suffering you are going through and life is just one long miserable life day in and day out, you are having all your sins been whipped out and in additional to that you are getting higher level of Jannah just from me reading your posts. You said people made fun of you, A) Check, sins cleaned, raising higher level of Janna, B) you said people said you are ugly, check, raising higher level of Janna, C) You said you are frustrated and not able to get married because of race discrimination, check, raising higher level of Janna.

So.....smile and be thankful!

 

['Abdullah]

Assalam O Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

If you are feeling the guilt then know that your faith is still good Alhamdulillah. It will be a problem if you think that its normal and natural to look at girls and your conscience stops blaming you. Keep fighting against your nafs as this is a major jihad and jihad is never easy.

أََللّهُمَّ طَهِّرْ قَلْبِىْ مِنَ النِّفَاقِ وَ عَمَلِىْ مِنَ الرِّيَاءِ، وَ لِسَانِىْ مِنَ الْكَذِبِ، وَ عَيْنِىْ مِنَ الْخِيَانَةِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَعْلَمُ خَائِنَةَ الْاَعْيُنِ وَمَا تُخْفِىْ

O Allah! Purify my heart from hypocrisy and my actions from showing off (riya) and my tongue from lying and my eyes from treachery. Indeed You know the treachery of the eyes and what is hidden in the chests.

Below is a video link if you need help with pronunciation of this dua:

May Allah make it easy for you! Ameen!

Ma'a Salama

 

[bint e aisha]

Remedy for Sins of eyesight

Replying to a letter from a seeker, sayyidi wa sanadi Mufti Mohammed Taqi Usmani (Allah protect & preserve him) commented:

“This person was involved in sins of the eyes. A solution was given which Alhamdulillah proved effective. He read the words of a pious elder to whom people complained: “Sir, immodesty has become widespread nowadays.” The pious elder replied: “Where is it? I haven’t noticed any immodesty. When I’m walk in the streets, my gaze does not shift from the path I’m walking on.”

Sayyidi continued: “This person got Tawfeeq to act on this advice. He was also involved in seeing immodest content on his smart phone. He was told to remove the means of this sin if he was not able to control himself otherwise. He removed Wifi from his home to avoid this sin. Spiritual struggle (mujahidda) and sincere dua are needed to avoid sins. As Allah Ta’ala says:

وَالَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا

“As for those who strive in Our way, We will certainly take them onto Our paths”.

Intekhab e Kaiseri, Ramadan 1440. Post zohar, office majlis



Taken from Ashrafiya.com

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