How to make friends at the age of 19?

AnonymousPoster

AnonymousPoster

Anonymous
Messages
5,732
Reaction score
218
:sl:

im 19 years old and i have no friends whatsoever. most of my life i was home schooled so i didn't get a chance to pick up that many social skills. and now im 19 with no friends:cry: i currently do not have a job or go to uni so i spend all of my time in the house. so have little interaction with people besides my family.
i feel so lonely

how do i get out there and start making friends. how do you approach someone to become their friend?
 
Aleykum selam wa rahmetallahu wa barakthu,

Sticky situtation, but also a quite common I think. But if you don't go to Uni and don't have a job, or simply don't go out - How were you thinkin' you're gonna improve your social skills?

Don't be sad or feel lonely, do something about it. Get your brain workin' and make up ideas, inshaAllah.

Here's my advice:​
1) Always pray and make dua for this. It's always a safe card, alhamdulillah.

​
2) Then if you have realtives like cousins, you could call them and their friends one day at home and just hang out, or you could go out and one of your relatives calls friends of their etc... You just tell them kinda "I wanna improve my social skills, as I'm dead bored and lonely"... They'll inshaAllah listen and help you out.

​
3) You could go find a job, with many employees - That would be a good chance to gain friends..

​
4) You could attend at your local mosque, to lectures and stuff, then you can't escape the fact to speak to someone at least.


5) You could attend other kind of courses... Like sports and stuff.
​


​
Lastly I want to say:

You can't create friendship after a few times... It take its time. You have to be patient and be sure of yourself. You want to get to know this person. This person will enter your life in someway and you theirs. It's not easy for everyone to let people into their lives. Be sure the person won't hurt your Emaan, your job or whatever. That they will be a positive change, not a negative one. But also, you can be a positive change to someone even though they may seem negative to you. It's a bit complicated, but you have to think a friendship is worth trying for and working for. Not to only change your own life - If you see you can change someone's life into the better then try it with best of intentions.


Push yourself into being social, even though you might find it hard. Don't always expect people to come to you.

[SIZE=-1]If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad will go to the mountain.[/SIZE]



InshaAllah I was able to help you in someways. I wish you all the best!
 
Some good advice by al-Zaar Jazaakillaahu Khayr..

The Believers are all brothers of one another...ask Allaah to give you a good companion...good friends are hard to find but when you do find one...then Mashaa'Allaah...it will make that journey a lot lot easier...
 
you aint alone for heaven sake!!

you got Allaah, so what if you aint got people you got Allaah thats enough.

Right, 2 make friends just simply talk to em and get to know em etc etc be nice and smile den every1 wana be ur friend.

im ur friend and so is all this site LI.
 
I've had a similar problem not to long ago, partly because i felt isolated as the one of the few Muslims in a non-Muslim school and community. One of the things that I felt helped alot was joining my masjid youth group. Also, if you have any particular interests, you might be able to join a group pertaining to that so you will have found friends with similar interests as you. Attending lectures or other social events introduced me to alot of new people. I would encourage you to find a job or take a few classes at the university. In addition to making friends, you will become more confident. That being said, making friends is not that easy, and you will have to put some effort. Sometimes, you will have to take the initiative and approach someone. Try talking to other people at social events or other settings and just listen and try to be friendly. You'll be amazed how many people will appreciate it.
 
I think it's good to be alone because you have time to reflect about yourday. Plus some friends let you down and sue you so be happy you got no friends. lol Im actually starting to enjoy my own company. I only got one friend. Does that sound sad? lol hahaha thats funny, can't believe im typing this
 
There was a young woman who had reached her 30s without getting married. She stayed home and was always by herself. A few people try to console her about her loneliness and she replied.

What makes you think i'm lonely. I"m never alone. I have the love of my life with me day and night. He is with me when i'm awake and when i'm asleep. He loves me more than anyone can and I talk to him openly as much as I please. Who is better there than my Lord besides me.

Anyways, It is note worthy to say that you are never alone. You always have the company of the unseen with you at all time. You have 1 angel to your left and right recording your deeds, you have one angel to your front and back always protecting you from any evil that is not to befall you. And you have your kareen (shaytan jinn) always trying to lead you astray. And lastly you have your Lord with you at all times always waiting on you to call on Him ask or to praise Him.

But alas we are humans and need companionship and someone to minlge with. Making friends is not hard, but it is also not that easy. It's not hard because lot of good people there and would love to get to know you and hang out with you. It is difficult for the naive because not all people out there are sincere.

For one who does not go to univ or public areas much, you should count your blessings because they bring only fitnah and trouble. Remember most loved places to Allah is the masjid and most hated is the market. As for someone making friends who is in your situation. We are Muslims alhamdulillah and making friends is very easy. You have been protected by the blessings of Allah from haraam and fitnah that most of us have seen or gone thru by going to public schools and univs and seeing the ugliness of the world.

You situation is like that of a housewife is bound to her home. Many complain (as housewife) there is nothing to do and no one to talk to. But what you can do is way more better than the kind of friends and socalizing most of us do. You have your muslim community there. (i'm guessing you're in the west and not muslim country). You can get involved in your local muslim community. You can go to sister's halaqa, teach sunday school to kids, volunteer at the islamic center to help out, and many other activities. In this process, what you learn is your social skills with different age groups. Also, inshallah you will find sincere sisters there who will be your good friends and you can learn from them much as well as you will be in an environment where no will take an advantage of your innocents and naivety.

just my humble advice....
 
:sl:

I do not believe anybody can "make" a friend. A person that can be "made" to be a friend can just as fast be made to be an enemy.

We can not make friends. We can only become a friend. by becoming a true friend to others, we discover, that we have friends.

Being a true friend is not so much what you do for or give to others, it is more of what you do yourself to keep from mistreating others.

Friends will be the natural result of being a friend.

Do not islolate yourself, be places where people will share the same things you yourself enjoy. Some suggestions:

The Mosque

The Library

Sport Events

Perhaps even a stroll in your neighborhood.

Try to find a Job, try to find halal reasons not to be in the house.

show your love for Allah(swt) in all you do and try to share the joy that comes from loving Allah(swt)
 
Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender;

Persevere never give up hope.

You say you do not have a job and maybe you are not able to get paid employment at the moment, but volunteer for something. Help someone else who is less fortunate than yourself, you will find by doing this that it will help to take your mind of your own problems and concentrate on someone less fortunate.

You will also meet more people, and people bring you into contact with other people.

In the spirit of praying for peace in our hearts

Eric
 
I would sujest joining groups and classes other various things which you enjoy to find people with common intrests, ( try youth groups at your local masjid) and over time going to them for a few weeks of so you should notice connections starting to form with other people and hopefully worthy friendships, good luck
 
:sl:

the problem is i live in a Muslim country. and Im not a native to this country. so there is not a lot of community type things to do. i mean there are other westerns where i live at. but the problem i have no means of transportation. and i rarely go out.unless my mom is up to it. she works so most of the time she is tired when she comes home and on the weekend.
i plan on getting my drivers license when i go back for vacations to my country. but that won't be until next summer.

and Im currently looking for a job. but can't find anything at the moment. i feel so trapped right now. it's like i have no where to go.

please duah for me
 
Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender;

Beyond a doubt there is a solution to your problems, but you and only you have to get out there and find it. You don’t have to believe me; but you do have to believe in yourself and God.

There are people within the community you live in who are willing to be your friend, you just have to find out who they are. Somehow you have to make a commitment with yourself that pushes you into going out and talking with a stranger each day.

The first stranger you talk to might be aggressive, but you have to persevere and keep trying, do not give up and do not expect immediate success. Say to people you are new to this area and don’t know anyone, do you have any suggestions.

People are often willing to help, and you should be encouraged that people on this forum have volunteered to be your friend. Look at your first post in this thread it has prompted people to give you positive replies, you could say the same kind of thing when you talk to people locally.

You do not have to go 20 miles or fifty miles to meet a friend, there should be friends where you live. If you need to travel have you thought of getting a bicycle you can go fifty miles fairly easily.

In the spirit of persevering

Eric
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top