its probably episodic.
you being an american muslim i advise you not to blow up even when triggered... not pronounced moron..shaddapayoface...
make new friends.. now on hard difficulty.. not extreme difficulty.. everybody stop blowing up.
but seriously a change of habits is the hardest thing to do, re-motivate yourself..find new hobbies and interests.. go mosque? go gym... go gym? go mosque..
you will probably find these voices are not those that are given life too..
zombie apocalypse? no blowing up! ....braaainn's
iv been places where i couldnt even compose myself enough to pray or read dua, im not nearly naive enough to think it was not partially my fault..
maybe start jogging every time you have a bad thought, sooner or later you would probably get fed up of jogging.
...i played football all my life and never learned to do kickups, until they put me in a room.
worst case scenario move to a non english speaking country..or an overly politically correct one.
get ex directory phone number.
was'was has always been a thing.
may allah swt make it easy for you.
....take ring back to mordor