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Thread: How to react when father disagrees with keeping a beard?
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ArtOfClass

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This is a somewhat personal situation but I feel I can't seem to make complete sense of how to react.

My father has recently been wanting me to shave off my beard; it is very minimal and would measure about a centimeter or two per hair.
He has been indirectly pointing it out until today. He's also instructed my mother and sister to speak to me about it - of all people! - instead of coming to me himself.

He is continously building an argument and I choose to keep shut and say nothing to avoid disrespecting him.
I'd love to present to him all the hadiths from Bukhair/Muslim but I'm certain he'll be stubborn in his decision and say I'm rebelling against him and my religion. imsad:raging:

If anyone has any advice for me on how to uphold the "already very nominal and almost meaningless" relationship between father and son while practiscing my faith.

Jazakallah.
 
:sl:
InshAllah everything will be okay. It seems that so far you've already been respectful towards your father, regardless of his demands. Hopefully he'll recognize this and stop asking your to shave your beard?

It never hurts to talk to him about it either, right?



:wa:
 
I'm totally lost and can't help but hold a stroopy mood whenever he brings it up imsad He hates my moods, which I can't seem to control, and from thereon sudden arguements arise and unfortunatly I'm to blame.

I guess I've got no option but to shave right now and inshallah continue following the sunnah at a later time.
 
Have you tried explaining to him it's haraam to shave? maybe he thinks it's not a fard to keep a beard. maybe get an elder to speak with him like an imam, I'm guessing he attends the masjid, try asking the imam to explain to him the importance of the beard. I have a good book with all the evidence in it if you want it.
 
KittenLover said:
Have you tried explaining to him it's haraam to shave? maybe he thinks it's not a fard to keep a beard. maybe get an elder to speak with him like an imam, I'm guessing he attends the masjid, try asking the imam to explain to him the importance of the beard. I have a good book with all the evidence in it if you want it.
Click to expand...

I quote;
"I say, FORGET SUNNAH, fard first."
His words.

He doesn't attend the masjid. He doesn't pray, or atleast I haven't witnessed it since Ramadan has ended. I've tried explaining it to him, but it's his words against mine.
Rather than sitting here and weeping I'd rather just get it done and over with. That way hopefully I'll be showing respect towards him in some way, I guess.
The further I go with him on this whole argument, the more verbally-agressive he'll get.
Right now I simply give up and pray for Allah's help & guidance.
Just for future reference, could I please get the Title + Author's name of that book?
Jazakallah =)
 
It's a decision I've gotta make myself =(

Either disobey Allah's command and follow this very agressive-father's command.. or pray I just magically get by without him pointing it out again. imsad

What do you think Abraham would've done in this situation? :hmm:
 
19:41] And mention Ibrahim in the Book; surely he was a truthful man, a prophet
19:42]When he said to his father; O my father! why do you worship what neither hears nor sees, nor does it avail you in the least:
19:43] O my father! truly the knowledge has come to me which has not come to you, therefore follow me, I will guide you on a right path:
19:44] O my father! serve not the Shaitan, surely the Shaitan is disobedient to the Beneficent Allah:
19:45] O my father! surely I fear that a punishment from the Beneficent Allah should afflict you so that you should be a friend of the Shaitan.
19:46] He said: Do you dislike my gods, O Ibrahim? If you do not desist I will certainly revile you, and leave me for a time.
19:47] He said: Peace be on you, I will pray to my Lord to forgive you; surely He is ever Affectionate to me:
 
bruv how old are you? some people have this thinking of you're too young and you're making yourself like an old man at a young age, backward mentality
 
ArtOfClass said:
I quote;
"I say, FORGET SUNNAH, fard first."
His words.

He doesn't attend the masjid. He doesn't pray, or atleast I haven't witnessed it since Ramadan has ended. I've tried explaining it to him, but it's his words against mine.
Rather than sitting here and weeping I'd rather just get it done and over with. That way hopefully I'll be showing respect towards him in some way, I guess.
The further I go with him on this whole argument, the more verbally-agressive he'll get.
Right now I simply give up and pray for Allah's help & guidance.
Just for future reference, could I please get the Title + Author's name of that book?
Jazakallah =)
Click to expand...

the beard is a fard because it is an obligatory sunnah. below is the link for the book you can read it online.

http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/beard.pdf
 
ArtOfClass said:
It's a decision I've gotta make myself =(

Either disobey Allah's command and follow this very agressive-father's command.. or pray I just magically get by without him pointing it out again. imsad

What do you think Abraham would've done in this situation? :hmm:
Click to expand...

Aslaamu`Alaaykum bro..

I would advice you to be patient, and keep asking questions and gaining knowledge helps..

However, disobeying Allaah will lead to the punishment of Allaah..remmeber that InshaAllaah!

Theres no magic in Islaam, Miracles is the correct word or the will of Allaah..
See this is a test from the allmighty bro, Allaah will test you in many ways as he said in the Noble Q`uraan. he will see how you will deal with the situation, either you disobey or obey..follow your desires or do whats best for you what Allaah wants...because what he wants is the best for you...
from myself view i see your giving up,,Abraham as never gave up..neither did any of the prophets.

Allaah subhana`wa`t`ala tests his servants in all different types of ways, however he the allmighty wills.
For example testing our patience , Remove our sins and reward us..InshaAllaah check this page if you like: http://amuslimsistermaria200327.wordpress.com/2009/08/11/5-reasons-on-why-does-allah-test-us/

“And certainly, We shall test you with a bit of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits. But give glad tidings to the patient ones who, when afflicted with a calamity, say: “Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.” They are those upon whom are the blessings, descend from their Lord, and they receive His Mercy, and it is they who are guided.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:155-157)

“And among mankind is he who worships Allah as if he were upon the very edge (i.e. in doubt); if good befalls him, he is content with it;. But if a trial befalls him, he turns back on his face. He loses both this World and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss.”(Surah al-Haj 22:11)

Hope i helped a little bit InshaAllaah, and forgive me i have said anything wrong or bad

Wa`Alaaykum Salaam..
 
:sl:
Talk to your dad in a peaceful manner. He is your father at the end of the day.
If he disagrees, try another time perhaps. Maybe when he is happy with you.

This is a test of patients on your part. Pray to Allah to help you.

Keep trying, I'm sure he'll come around.

May Allah make this easy for you. Insh'Allah.
 
Last edited:
aadil77 said:
bruv how old are you? some people have this thinking of you're too young and you're making yourself like an old man at a young age, backward mentality
Click to expand...

Surely not a thing of age in this case.

Muslim World 12 said:
Aslaamu`Alaaykum bro..

I would advice you to be patient, and keep asking questions and gaining knowledge helps..

However, disobeying Allaah will lead to the punishment of Allaah..remmeber that InshaAllaah!

Theres no magic in Islaam, Miracles is the correct word or the will of Allaah..
See this is a test from the allmighty bro, Allaah will test you in many ways as he said in the Noble Q`uraan. he will see how you will deal with the situation, either you disobey or obey..follow your desires or do whats best for you what Allaah wants...because what he wants is the best for you...
from myself view i see your giving up,,Abraham as never gave up..neither did any of the prophets.

Allaah subhana`wa`t`ala tests his servants in all different types of ways, however he the allmighty wills.
For example testing our patience , Remove our sins and reward us..InshaAllaah check this page if you like: http://amuslimsistermaria200327.wordpress.com/2009/08/11/5-reasons-on-why-does-allah-test-us/

“And certainly, We shall test you with a bit of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits. But give glad tidings to the patient ones who, when afflicted with a calamity, say: “Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.” They are those upon whom are the blessings, descend from their Lord, and they receive His Mercy, and it is they who are guided.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:155-157)

“And among mankind is he who worships Allah as if he were upon the very edge (i.e. in doubt); if good befalls him, he is content with it;. But if a trial befalls him, he turns back on his face. He loses both this World and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss.”(Surah al-Haj 22:11)

Hope i helped a little bit InshaAllaah, and forgive me i have said anything wrong or bad

Wa`Alaaykum Salaam..
Click to expand...

:sl:
Thank you so much for the in-depth response, sister. Apologies for using the term "magical".. was upset and didn't think thoroughly about what I was typing.
Inshallah, what I do will be what Allah wills.

Life_Is_Short said:
:sl:
Talk to your dad in a peaceful manner. He is your father at the end of the day.
If he disagrees, try another time perhaps. Maybe when he is happy with you.

This is a test of patients on your part. Pray to Allah to help you.

Keep trying, I'm sure he'll come around.

May Allah make this easy for you. Insh'Allah.
Click to expand...

Inshallah.
Jazakallah Khair to everyone for their assistance. Inshallah others can benefit from this also.
:wa:
 
Aslaamu`Alaaykum.....

No problem bro,apology accepted..
Pray to Allaah sincerely to show what to do and give you the patience to deal with certain individuals..
i didnt adress your father, but i would advice you to be patient with him as he is still your father, try implement something the prophet would do, and if he your father asks you who told you to do it reply with "This is how the prophet sallahu alayhi wa salam did" likewise having a beard is also what the Prophet told you to do, there will be people who may not agree with you and people who will agree..
However Allaah says
Allah says: “Whatever of good befalls you, it is from Allah; and whatever of ill befalls you, it is from yourself.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 79] bro think about it, how wonderful it is ,your creator advising you and in ofcourse and no doubt the BEST of ways.think about it deeply. Allaah has been with you all your life, and only him you call upon in the times of need and always.
I can understand your situation, everyone will go through a trial in there life but there are people who still smile bro,.The prophet sallahu alayhi wa salam would cry, imagine how much he had to go through. There are situations of the prophets that are similar to some peoples situations this day, and they are just reminders to make us realise how WE should deal with ours.
The best advice i can give you bro,is supplicate,and ask Allah and tell him all your problems no doubt he already knows ,but it will make you closer ,it will make you feel better "Indeed in the remmebrance of Allaah do hearts find rest" and recite the Quraan daily as it does help a lot, and try listening to some lectures InshaAllaah to boost your Imaan..try your best to deal with your father and everyone in the kind manner, dont let moodynes,anger get in your way Infact its a chance to give Dawah and show what a MUSLIM is..InshaAllaah

I will make dua for you and everything

Wa`Alaaykum Salaam...