How to repent?

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javeria.iqbal

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Salam
I am a twenty one year old muslim girl with absolutely nothing going well in life at this point. Sometimes I feel this slope that my life's going down has to do with a couple of times that I can recall when I had been rude to people or had taken pride in myself. I have been hurtful to people, not habitually but just a few times, yet it was either a slip of tongue or lack of sagacity. I can think of this one time that I publicly talked back to an elder rather disrespectfully when she old me to stay in line. I have repented a number of times to Allah for what I did because I genuinely felt bad afterwards and I might never be able to apologize directly to her once I don't know her. :facepalm: :cry:
Another case is that of a friend I had who I called out twice for her poor academic performance. I don't know what I had in mind when I said what I did but I hate myself for it. Although she has paid me back pretty much every chance she got by mocking my looks or even leaving me stranded at a public place when I was depending on her for conveyance and I had to bother my mother to come pick me up from a place she didn't even know of, I still feel I provoked her.

I've asked Allah for forgiveness with tears in my eyes but I don't feel at ease. What should I do?
 
javeria.iqbal said:
Salam
I am a twenty one year old muslim girl with absolutely nothing going well in life at this point. Sometimes I feel this slope that my life's going down has to do with a couple of times that I can recall when I had been rude to people or had taken pride in myself. I have been hurtful to people, not habitually but just a few times, yet it was either a slip of tongue or lack of sagacity. I can think of this one time that I publicly talked back to an elder rather disrespectfully when she old me to stay in line. I have repented a number of times to Allah for what I did because I genuinely felt bad afterwards and I might never be able to apologize directly to her once I don't know her. :facepalm: :cry:
Another case is that of a friend I had who I called out twice for her poor academic performance. I don't know what I had in mind when I said what I did but I hate myself for it. Although she has paid me back pretty much every chance she got by mocking my looks or even leaving me stranded at a public place when I was depending on her for conveyance and I had to bother my mother to come pick me up from a place she didn't even know of, I still feel I provoked her.

I've asked Allah for forgiveness with tears in my eyes but I don't feel at ease. What should I do?
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Walaikum salaam. Sweety, you feeling bad after doing something wrong proves you are a believer and a good person inside out. Don't overthink, know that Allah is the most merciful and he loves the ones who repent.
I know your friend has been bad to u in return BUT I think you should ring/text her or even meet her personally and apologise so you feel better..
Make sure you don't miss your salah, recite Quran and always do dhikr. *big hugss*
 
Wa alaykum a'salam, sister. Alhamdulilah Allah has guided you away from kibr (pride and arrogance). Regretting your sins is a part of repentance. If possible, ask for forgiveness from the people you harmed (whether to their face or behind their back), don't repeat the sin, and always continue to seek the Forgiveness and Mercy of Allah. When you make Du'a, call on Him by His beautiful Names: Ar Rahman (the Most Merciful), Al Gafaar (the Most Forgiving), Al Ghafur (the One Who Forgives time and time again), At Tawaab (the Accepter of repentance), Al 'Afuw (the Supreme Pardoner), and they are not limited to these. Pray Qiyaam al Layl and worship Allah when everyone is asleep. Allah is the Most Merciful, so don't think any sin is too big for Him to forgive. All sins are forgiven with sincere repentance.

We can't change our past, and I do think that the guilt we feel from our sins will never quite go away, but that is not a bad thing. When we are constantly reminded of our mistakes, we can be sure not to repeat them and we continue to learn from them and humble ourselves when thinking of them, in sha Allah Ta'ala.

Allah knows best
 
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The best thing you can do to rectify your past mistakes is to never repeat the mistakes
 
javeria.iqbal said:
What should I do?
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Offer reparation to your victims.

If you have been rude to your victim, try to find her again, and say friendly things to her, to make her happy. That should be suitable reparation for your offense. If you cannot find your victim anymore, pick a person in a situation as similar as possible to your victim, and offer reparation to that person instead, by doing something very friendly for her.

Evil deeds can relatively easily be cancelled out by good deeds, if the beneficiary is the same as the victim. Otherwise, it is a bit more difficult, but if you want your repentance to be counted as sincere, you will still have to be seen expending effort to repair. Without reparation efforts, the negative balance will still remain with you. Ugly words can be repaired with friendly ones. So, you will have to pick enough people, to be especially friendly to, in order to work off your debt.
 

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