Husband Lieing

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Lonely Gal

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My husband and lied about being in contact with a lady relation.. this is playin on mind and how to deal with it..
I have seen text's frm him and miss/received calls in her phone.. but when ive asked have they ever talked on phone, he has said no.. know if its innocent why lie?
 
theres nothin dodgy in the messages and i know me cuz is havin her own probs so if he is talkin to her to comfort and give a leanin shoulder.. why not tell me.. i am his wife.. and he goes on abt how he always must run everythin by me as im his wife..
 
:sl:

Lonely Gal said:
...so if he is talkin to her to comfort and give a leanin shoulder.. why not tell me..
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Don't suspect without any solid proof . If she is a friend / relative , tell ur husband you are ready to help her . Or u may also talk to her directly - tell her if she needs any help , u are there .

May Allah bless your marriage , Ameen.
 
Muslim Woman said:
:sl:

Or u may also talk to her directly - tell her if she needs any help , u are there .

May Allah bless your marriage , Ameen.
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I sort of agree with this if there is nothing bad in the text messages then i would not worry. i mean i know its weird to lie about it but maybe he is just afraid of how you would take it... do you know what problems she is having? (i mean you dont have to reply to that part) but if you do then yeah i would just call and say i know you are having a hard time and if you would like to help then please i am here for you too.... or something like that...

i would talk to my hubby about lieing to me though. and say i dont mind if you help people but i would prefer we help together. or something along those lines just dont be mad when you say it....relax and talk to him openly.... tell him its been bothering you...
 
Lonely Gal said:
My husband and lied about being in contact with a lady relation.. this is playin on mind and how to deal with it..
I have seen text's frm him and miss/received calls in her phone.. but when ive asked have they ever talked on phone, he has said no.. know if its innocent why lie?
Click to expand...

:sl:he should not be talking with her sis. if she needs support she should take help from another sister. this lying creates lack of trust and it gives the wrong impression to the other person that they have something to hide. sis did he get angry when you questioned him?
 
why are they talking to each other in the first place? its not permissable in islam! that is an issue- are you a practicing couple?

now in regards to if you think there is something going on that my sis only Allahswt knows- im osrry we are unable to help you-
you know him best- you know his behaviour read him- but dont accuse him- you cant accuse unless you have proof.
you need to trad very carefully- if you tell him you went through his phone this will cause anger in him- bad result on marrage- be careful in what you do-pray to Allahswt to clear your heart- who knows maybe Allahswt will show you the truth?
 
:sl:
dont get suspicious without solid proof, as undermentioned, but do talk to him and make him try to understand that you dont like for him to talk to other women.
 
Lonely Gal said:
My husband and lied about being in contact with a lady relation.. this is playin on mind and how to deal with it..
I have seen text's frm him and miss/received calls in her phone.. but when ive asked have they ever talked on phone, he has said no.. know if its innocent why lie?
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister you do have a right to feel this way because he should not have lied to you if he has nothing to hide, but you should also not suspect anything until you have solid proof and evidance as shaythan is playing with your mind but i do think you should make him open up as to why he lied about being in touch with her and you should also make him feel comfortable about sharing anything and everything with you no matter what it is.

He should not be comforting her at all because when a person is feeling low or vulnerable then these are the occassions where things are likely to happen but again you should make him open up about this situation and make him aware that his lies are causing you to suspect him and that he does'nt ever have to lie about anything in front of you.

You should also make him realise that it is forbiden for him to be talking alone with with this girl and that he should cut off contact with her immediatley as it is a big sin on him to continue to comfort her and talk with her when they are both alone.

Try to make him feel comfortable about opening up and sharing everything that goes on in his life even if it hurts you. Try to maintain good communication in the marriage because once communication breaks down then the marriage is doomed.

Ask of Allah to help make your marriage strong and to make your husband open upto you about everything.

May Allah give you a successful, happy and prosperous marriage. Ameen
 
trust and communication are the 2 fundamental pillars of marriage if they are gone then the marriage will have a negative effect. Speak to him and get him to open up
 
:sl:its hard to trust when she knows her husband is in contact with another woman. the trust will come when he will finish his communication with her and if he wont it will give shaytan more power over the marriage and who knows what could happen next thats why its a big sin for a married man to comfort another woman. may Allah guide him
 
how can I talk to him calmly, as I have already in passing asked if he talks to her as she is going tru a tuff time with her hubby and he said no, he's never rang her..
I have an issue if i ask him outright again, and if im fed lies, ill burst out in anger and make the situation worse.
I have concerns, he has another number too but have not yet been able to prove it.. over the weekend i found another message which suggested its him.. but what can i do..
please pray Allah swt shows me the truth as I cannot go on like this and asking him i honestly belive i will be fed more lies.. which will cause a bigger distance in our marriage than already what we have..
are there any dua's that i can read to help in such situations?
thanks for all your advise.
 
Lonely Gal said:
how can I talk to him calmly, as I have already in passing asked if he talks to her as she is going tru a tuff time with her hubby and he said no, he's never rang her..
I have an issue if i ask him outright again, and if im fed lies, ill burst out in anger and make the situation worse.
I have concerns, he has another number too but have not yet been able to prove it.. over the weekend i found another message which suggested its him.. but what can i do..
please pray Allah swt shows me the truth as I cannot go on like this and asking him i honestly belive i will be fed more lies.. which will cause a bigger distance in our marriage than already what we have..
are there any dua's that i can read to help in such situations?
thanks for all your advise.
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Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, my sister just make sincere dua to Allah that he reveal the truth to you whether that be that he is innocent or not.

As mentiond before do not let shaythan mess with your head. It could just be shaythan trying to make you feel this way.

It is always best to trust until you have solid proof and at the moment you do not. But ask of Allah to help you and to resolve this situation by revealing the truth to you of this situation.

Sit down with him and talk to him encouraging him to open up to you and make him feel comfortable enough for him to feel that way.

Keep communication strong and if the situation does not improve then need get an elder member of the family tro act as a mediator.

We pray that Allah makes your marriage a happy and prosperous one. Ameen
 
:salamext:

You can be suspicious...but don't attack him. Just communicate with him... if you can contact the other girl...probably you should ask her too...but please be nice to her.

People lie ukhtee...and there are many reasons to it. Don't blame him...until you let him explain it to you. If he still trying to avoid your questions, probably you need to ask his closed friends. If you still think this is a problem...i think you need to find someone that can advise you and your husband on this issue. Please don't leave it until the matter get worse.
 
:sl:

Sister pray Allah to give you strength to get thru this tough time.Also i think he just must be lying to avoid creating suspicion in your mind.Tell him that you are ready to offer help/support to her.Be calm dont let anger take over you :)
 
Grofica said:
I sort of agree with this if there is nothing bad in the text messages then i would not worry. i mean i know its weird to lie about it but maybe he is just afraid of how you would take it... do you know what problems she is having? (i mean you dont have to reply to that part) but if you do then yeah i would just call and say i know you are having a hard time and if you would like to help then please i am here for you too.... or something like that...

i would talk to my hubby about lieing to me though. and say i dont mind if you help people but i would prefer we help together. or something along those lines just dont be mad when you say it....relax and talk to him openly.... tell him its been bothering you...
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:sl:

:Alhumdill

I like that advice. Why not tell you husband? :hmm:
 

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