I am really confused. I don't know what I should do.

[confused-]

I am a Muslim female who is currently studying in Mechanical Engineering. I know it is a male-dominated field, and I want to lead a Muslim life. I just don't know how. I am having a few issues in my life right now. I am not extremely religious, but I want to start leading an Islamic life.

(1) I am currently in a male-dominated field. I don't know how exactly Islam will view this. It's not like at this moment, I can change my career, this is the only thing I want to be doing.

(2) I have a boyfriend who is extremely religious. We committed Zina, and it was wrong I know, and it will not happen again. I repent it, and whenever I pray, I ask Allah to forgive me for this sin. I am very regretful. Now, we will not be doing fornication before marriage anymore, but it seems like he does not even want to get married to me. How is that? I do love him, but the fact that I slept with him is a more important reason for me to get married to him. But he says that, I cannot fulfill a Muslim's wife's duties as I will be working. If he gives me permission, that should be alright no? Also, in Islam, I am allowed to work provided the kids and home is taken care of. My boyfriend is worried about the fact that I will not be able to take care of the kids properly. Would it be wrong, Islamically, that by the age of 2-3, the kids can spend about half their day (8am to 4pm) in an Islamic center (almost like a daycare).

I just need an opinion. Please do not be harsh. I want these things to work. I want the relationship to work. I want to work. and most importantly, I want to lead an Islamic life. I know I have committed sins, but I repent them. All I can do right now is pray and ask for forgiveness to Allah.

Thank you.

 

[أبو سليمان عمر]

I am a Muslim female who is currently studying in Mechanical Engineering. I know it is a male-dominated field, and I want to lead a Muslim life. I just don't know how. I am having a few issues in my life right now. I am not extremely religious, but I want to start leading an Islamic life.

(1) I am currently in a male-dominated field. I don't know how exactly Islam will view this. It's not like at this moment, I can change my career, this is the only thing I want to be doing.

it is not permissable for a women to freemix with men Unless it is dire needed it will be best to find a differnt Job and have trust in Allah we should forget that Allah is the provider we only need to make a way and Allah will provide so dont do anything haram to get there the prophet said in a hadith 'Umar said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, "If you were to rely on Allah as He should be relied on, He would provide for you as He provides for the birds. They go out in the morning hungry and return in the evening full." [at-Tirmidhi]

(2) I have a boyfriend who is extremely religious. We committed Zina, and it was wrong I know, and it will not happen again. I repent it, and whenever I pray, I ask Allah to forgive me for this sin. I am very regretful. Now, we will not be doing fornication before marriage anymore, but it seems like he does not even want to get married to me. How is that? I do love him, but the fact that I slept with him is a more important reason for me to get married to him. But he says that, I cannot fulfill a Muslim's wife's duties as I will be working. If he gives me permission, that should be alright no? Also, in Islam, I am allowed to work provided the kids and home is taken care of. My boyfriend is worried about the fact that I will not be able to take care of the kids properly. Would it be wrong, Islamically, that by the age of 2-3, the kids can spend about half their day (8am to 4pm) in an Islamic center (almost like a daycare).

I just need an opinion. Please do not be harsh. I want these things to work. I want the relationship to work. I want to work. and most importantly, I want to lead an Islamic life. I know I have committed sins, but I repent them. All I can do right now is pray and ask for forgiveness to Allah.

Thank you.

sister you say you have a boyfriend who is very religious i beg to differ for if he was then he wouldnt be your boyfriend this is not Allowed in islam.... also may Allah forgive you for you sin.. sis since you are in the place you are in you need to tell him to marry you or leave him be this is what is best stop commiting sins if he cares for u and is religious why is he waiting.. as for working naam sis it is ok for a women to worj if she has her husbands permission and her money is for here but the best place for the Muslim women is at home..yes it is ok for the kids to do that but again the husband must be willing and again it is best if the mother rasied her kids sis i tell you to fear Allah eiather get married or leave him this is what islam says

sis read this
freemixing
also this
Word to a muslim women
read
this
this

May Allah aid you in doing that which He loves and is pleased with ameen

 

[Rafeeq]

Although your problem is very complicated, I must say, my opinion might not be acceptale to you or applicable for you. Your question has two parts,
1: Whether you can work, yes you can provided your home and kids are properly taken care of.

2: Relation with your BF. Infact, your BF, if he was religious, he would not involve in such criminal act with you. Now, he is fad up with you. You must leave him also to avoid continue a sinful life. Do not disclose this secret to any more people and repent Allah (SWT). Done is done, do not beat about the bush and start a new a pios life. May Allah help you.

 

[Ansariyah]

(2) I have a boyfriend who is extremely religious. We committed Zina, and it was wrong I know, and it will not happen again. I repent it, and whenever I pray, I ask Allah to forgive me for this sin. I am very regretful. Now, we will not be doing fornication before marriage anymore, but it seems like he does not even want to get married to me. How is that? I do love him, but the fact that I slept with him is a more important reason for me to get married to him.

How can he be so religious when he committed Zina with u? What u committed both is a serious sin u shud repent sincerely n how about u start that by stop calling this guy ur boyfriend?

But he says that, I cannot fulfill a Muslim's wife's duties as I will be working. If he gives me permission, that should be alright no? Also, in Islam, I am allowed to work provided the kids and home is taken care of. My boyfriend is worried about the fact that I will not be able to take care of the kids properly. Would it be wrong, Islamically, that by the age of 2-3, the kids can spend about half their day (8am to 4pm) in an Islamic center (almost like a daycare).

If u choose to be a parent thats not something u do part time u do it full time. Once u have children, they come first n ur dream job will have to take a seat back.

I just need an opinion. Please do not be harsh. I want these things to work. I want the relationship to work. I want to work. and most importantly, I want to lead an Islamic life. I know I have committed sins, but I repent them. All I can do right now is pray and ask for forgiveness to Allah.

How about u take some time away from all of this to focus on ur deen a bit more, nourish ur Imaan. Whatever happened has happened. It's good that u want to repent mashaALlah. Part of repenting is also distancing urself from the sin.

 

[Woodrow]

A very sad story and one too many very nice young girls get trapped in. A simple fact of life. the fastest way for a girl to get a boy to loose interest of marrying her is to commit zina with him.

Best choice now is to forget the past and begin life fresh with greater knowledge and a stronger desire to keep all relationships halal

 

[- Qatada -]

I am a Muslim female who is currently studying in Mechanical Engineering. I know it is a male-dominated field, and I want to lead a Muslim life. I just don't know how. I am having a few issues in my life right now. I am not extremely religious, but I want to start leading an Islamic life.

(1) I am currently in a male-dominated field. I don't know how exactly Islam will view this. It's not like at this moment, I can change my career, this is the only thing I want to be doing.

Asalaam alaikum.


Do you think you would be able to find a female dominated job in this field? If so - that would be best. However, if you cannot - then we know that Allah's preference for you is greater than your preference for yourself.

(2) I have a boyfriend who is extremely religious. We committed Zina, and it was wrong I know, and it will not happen again. I repent it, and whenever I pray, I ask Allah to forgive me for this sin. I am very regretful. Now, we will not be doing fornication before marriage anymore, but it seems like he does not even want to get married to me. How is that? I do love him, but the fact that I slept with him is a more important reason for me to get married to him. But he says that, I cannot fulfill a Muslim's wife's duties as I will be working. If he gives me permission, that should be alright no? Also, in Islam, I am allowed to work provided the kids and home is taken care of. My boyfriend is worried about the fact that I will not be able to take care of the kids properly. Would it be wrong, Islamically, that by the age of 2-3, the kids can spend about half their day (8am to 4pm) in an Islamic center (almost like a daycare).

This guy may seem religious, but it doesn't seem it from his actions. Since you want it to work, and it isn't working - that might be a sign from God that this guy isn't the right one for you. Why do I say this?

1 - Guys who act like this only want the girl for fulfilling their desire.
2 - If he was really wanting to be in a relationship with you, while being a good Muslim - he would choose marriage. So why doesn't he? [the answer is in point 1].
3 - Since you want to be closer to Allah/God, you will realise this guy is an obstacle for you (especially since he does not want marriage anyway.) Removing him out of the scene will allow you to move forward in life.


Think about it; Do you want a husband who isn't willing in the first place to be responsible for you and the kids? Then he is 'worried' that you will not take care of the kids properly? Furthermore, it is sad for these children that they don't have parents who can take care of them. So what was the purpose of having these children in the first place?

I just need an opinion. Please do not be harsh. I want these things to work. I want the relationship to work. I want to work. and most importantly, I want to lead an Islamic life. I know I have committed sins, but I repent them. All I can do right now is pray and ask for forgiveness to Allah.

Thank you.

One of the signs of your repentance is that you leave the source of sin. Your workplace probably will remind you of this guy and make you saddened, it might even make shaytan/satan come back to influence you to fall into this sin again. The best thing for you would be to leave this workplace, away from this type of trial/temptation, and find a suitable job which would get you closer to Allah.

And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). [Quran surah Talaq 65:2]

 

[GuestFellow]

(1) I am currently in a male-dominated field. I don't know how exactly Islam will view this. It's not like at this moment, I can change my career, this is the only thing I want to be doing.

It should not matter as long as you can look after your family. You can work part time.

(2) I have a boyfriend who is extremely religious. We committed Zina, and it was wrong I know, and it will not happen again. I repent it, and whenever I pray, I ask Allah to forgive me for this sin. I am very regretful. Now, we will not be doing fornication before marriage anymore, but it seems like he does not even want to get married to me. How is that? I do love him, but the fact that I slept with him is a more important reason for me to get married to him. But he says that, I cannot fulfill a Muslim's wife's duties as I will be working. If he gives me permission, that should be alright no? Also, in Islam, I am allowed to work provided the kids and home is taken care of. My boyfriend is worried about the fact that I will not be able to take care of the kids properly.

It is best to leave him. You should not be involved in a relationship. Forget the past and move on. You will feel much better.

Would it be wrong, Islamically, that by the age of 2-3, the kids can spend about half their day (8am to 4pm) in an Islamic center (almost like a daycare).

I'm not sure. It depends on the kids. If they miss you while you are at work, then your children should come first. Try to consider part time work.

 

[Beardo]

I've only recently switched to engineering. Masha-Allah, it's a good choice on your part.

Bout the Zina though.. Erm... Practically speaking, do a Nikkah or something and make things Halal. Repent and correct your actions.

 

[purple]

Dont marry him, sis. Start again.
:wa:

 

[Yassouid]

With all due respect to all repliers: in my humble opinion; please refrain from referring to anyone as not religious due to a single sin; especially considering no one knows him.

Sister, this in no way implies that you should stay with your current partner. Allah (swt) has a special love for believers who come back to him in repentance!

 

[kingkong]

Salaam,

There is no doubt the act of Zina is haraam.

1. Repent for your mistake, repent for it with sincerity and Insha'Allah Allah will forgive you.

2. End all contact with this shameless boy who used you to satisfy his beastly nature for a short period of time.

3. If you think he would be a good husband, which is questionable, then you must approach yoru parents to speak to his parents.

4. You should consider leaving your course, I did a similar degree and I know the very few females on the course are oggled over by boys who have no control. You want to be a Mechanical Engineer? You will be around men all the time and that is Islamically not permitted.

I may sound harsh, but you're asking for trouble by studying in the environment where you are. It will likely happen again, so consider leaving.

When you;'re married your family comes before your work, shame on those women who think work is more important than their families and homes. You can work so long as it is halaal and also you don't overlook your family.

I would not marry a girl who mentioned the words work or career, so I can see exactly why he said that to you.

May Allah give you guidance and keep you away from the Shaytaan.

 

[~ Sabr ~]

I have a boyfriend who is extremely religious

How can he be a boyfriend, and be extremely religious? That’s one clash of identities/personalities.

and it will not happen again

. Now, we will not be doing fornication before marriage anymore

How do you know this? The shaytaan convinced you once, he can convince you again.

But he says that, I cannot fulfill a Muslim's wife's duties as I will be working.

This is just an excuse to get out of marrying you. He does not want to commit to a relationship.

I just need an opinion. Please do not be harsh.

We are truthful, even if that is harsh.

. I want these things to work. I want the relationship to work. I want to work. and most importantly, I want to lead an Islamic life.

All of these things cannot be done together. Unless he commits to a relationship by asking your hand in marriage from your parents.

All I can do right now is pray and ask for forgiveness to Allah.

May Allah forgive you and all the Muslim Ummah. Ameen.

 

[muslimah nicola]

Just to add to what others have said, sister, you say you want to work now, but you may feel completely different once you have babies. It is one of the hardest things to do as a mother, to leave a baby in the care of another while you go to work. My daughter- in-law has to work, and leaves her baby with me, and she finds it so upsetting and cant wait to have her next baby so she can have the maternity leave to spend with them. She and I hope that their financial situation will allow for her to stay at home with them, after that as its the thing she most wants in the world.

As for the other matter - others are more qualified to comment. May Allah (swt) help you to see what is best for you, sister.

 

[AslamP]

Your BF seems like he's Muslim by name and not practice. He's making up excuses not to marry you. Of course, you can work, Islam doesn't stop you from working, as for males, rules are same for females, don't do wrong things. You sound like a nice person who has wronged her soul and want Islam, please make right changes before it's too late. The guy your with, give him an ultimatum, either to marry you or get lost. After that, doesn't matter where you work, you must discipline yourself to follow right conduct. Wish you luck.