I can't love Allah

[anonymous]

Ok, I've been going through a lot of things in my life like constant bullying, ocd, and depression. In order to help me, you should probably read what I've gone through. I know it's long, but please. I'm at a place where I don't think I can love Allah anymore. If you can kindly read it, thank you so much. I need help.[/B]

I've been going through a lot of bullying in my life. A lot of hard times. I'm not special in any good way. I'm very skinny, small, and get laughed at for trying to stand up for myself. I've gone through some very depressing times. But I do have one talent, and that's "artistic ability." I used to think and fantisize about working in the art industry. Making my own movies and such. But I've been later told quite a few times that this kind of art is forbidden in our religion.

I'm in highschool right now, and due to my depression, my grades have been extremely low. The only thing I can rely on is if my artistic abilities can take me somewhere in life. But nooo, because this kind of animation is not allowed. Look, I'm not athletic, smart, or even a little smart. I'm not good at singing or anything. I'm not good at anything but art. Oh and please don't tell me things like "there's different forms of art like drawing nature." Please don't speak that rubbish to me, because I'm tired of hearing that, and that is the most boring form of art, and I dread anyone who enjoys it. Time is running out, there isn't that much time for me to do well in acedemics like science, math. I'm got a 17% in math last year. I think I have a 55% average this year.

I feel like I'm being meant to suffer all of this pain. I feel like Allah made me go through this on purpose. Don't blame me for thinking this. It's ironic isn't it? I'm born as a weak, unintelligent loser, in a muslim family where my kind of art (my dream) is forbidden. And I have an amazing artistic ability, but I cannot express myself through my work because of religious rules. My life is the worst thing Allah has created.

I go to my psychiatrist and he says that if I just give up my artistic ability like this, then thats very shameful. He went up on to the drawing board and drew a peaceful picture of a man, dog, sky, and all the peaceful objects you could think of. Then he turned to me and said, "Oh look at me! I'm going to hell because I drew this peaceful picture." He told me that Allah would be mad at me for not using my artistic ability to express myself. He told me to think about it logically. " Is someone destined to go to hell just because of drawing a picture of a living thing? Thats not God. God is supposed to be about love" He told me that God doesn't want me to live in fear. But thats not how I see it.

Athletic people express themselves by playing sports. Musicians play music. Comedians talk. Artists draw. Why can't I do a simple thing like this. It doesn't make any sense at all. I can't believe it. My psychiatrist says that I should pursue my dream, and that I'm not a bad person if I draw. I'm a good person. I'm not trying to be "God." I'm not trying to be Allah's sidekick. My psychiatrist says that it’s my OCD that’s causing me to think this because he doesn’t believe that God is such a judgemental being. I find it hard to believe as well.

I used to be a good kid. But all this anger is changing me. I feel hatred towards Allah. And I feel like, even if I obey Allah by not doing my art, it still won't change the fact that I hate Allah. I'm not trying to hate, but I cannot bring myself to love him. I feel like whether or not I obey him, I'll go to hell either way. I feel hatred against my parents and everyone that bullied me.. My life is over. I'm done. I feel like Allah is taking advantage of me. Just because I'm a worthless human, and Allah is God. I can't do anything to him. So what if I suffer, Allah doesn't have to care. Allah has everything he needs, and not caring about one pathetic human won't hurt Allah will it? So what if this human lives in suffering. How is that going to Affect Allah...

When you go through a rough time in your life, you can look into the future and be who you want to be. You'll be rich, and all those people who bullied you in the past will be forgotten because they'll never have a successful career like you. But not me, oh no. I’ll be suffering 24/7 while all those jerks get accepted to all those universities and programs that make their dreams come true.
Is there anyway where I could make my art without being sinful? You know, I probably won’t be accepted to heaven, but I don’t want to go to hell though. Is there a place for muslims who don’t become accepted to heaven or hell. Like a place where there is no torture. I think I’ve been through enough in this life, so I don’t need to go through another cycle in the afterlife. Is there any ritual I need to do in this life in order to go to that place? Dead serious question.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Some thoughts:

- Our purpose in this life if we believe the message Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) brought, is to attain the pleasure of Allah, avoid his punishment and attain his reward of jannah. That is the primary purpose and it is imperative that you as a muslim wholeheartedly believe and accept it. If you never have the thought of attaining his pleasure, then you need to do some serious soul searching and question yourself why? Why after you've received Allah's message, you don't want to do as he has said and gain paradise? It's not rational.

- The entire purpose is to be tested and it is up to Allah how he will test us. We submit to his will over us and be patient if we're ill, hurt or suffering in whatever way.

- This life is temporary.

- If your depression is caused by a problem due to your circumstance and hardships you've experienced, do not go to a psych to 'fix' or help you.

Psychiatry in the west is the religion of the irreligious people. When a person experiences depression that is a direct result of a hardship, in most cases it's a spiritual problem that can be helped resolved by having the correct belief, faith and conviction in Allah.

- Make plenty of dua for guidance and help. Strive to fulfil the commandments of Allah with full concentration and don't just see worship as mere physical and outward actions. Turn to and ask Allah with full sincerity. He can help you out of any situation.

- Contrast your life with the millions of people around the world that live in poverty, illness and extreme hunger, thirst, war, broken limbs etc. Can you honestly believe that your life is worse than theirs? I doubt it. We in the west are just spoilt, we look to what others around us have (in our local vicinity) and it makes us sad when we see that they have more and we don't. Yet just because people in third world countries are out of sight, they are out of mind of most people and we don't give a care in the world about them, as though they are sub-human. No matter what your situation, it is better than at least over 1 billion people in the world. Your issues are almost trivial compared to the problems they face.

Granted though, pain and suffering is relative. However, thinking of the pain of others helps put things into perspective.

- "You'll be rich, and all those people who bullied you in the past will be forgotten because they'll never have a successful career like you."

Wrong attitude to life. Money does not make one happy, nor does it make one successful. If I was you, I'd worry about finding contentment. Islamically, contentment can only come about if you have true faith and conviction in Allah and when you renounce the material world. Not that having money is a bad thing, it's when you assign too much importance to it that it becomes bad.

If your life goal is to have a rich and fulfilling life in this world and look down on others, then you need to do some serious soul searching as that kind of perception in life is contrary to what your religion says.

We should want for other people what we desire for ourselves and our ultimate goal ought to be contentment and seeking the pleasure of Allah.

- If you want to love Allah, it is very simple - you clear your heart of all negativity and pessimism in belief and wholeheartedly, genuinely and sincerely ask Allah to forgive all your sins and ask him to guide you, have mercy on you and ask him to give you love for him. A sincere dua like that would never be refused inshaAllah. If you always have a bitter approach to Allah, most likely nothing you ask for will ever be answered. Also, to have your duas answered, you need to strive to fulfil the duties your lord has imposed upon you. So pray 5 times a day, fast when necessary etc.

 

[Asif Intesar]

Well, you're really not helping, and I can understand that. It's probably because you haven't gone through what I've been through. Heck, you'd probably won't even last a day in my shoes.

I'm a human being, and in every human being, they all have a mutual need which is to "be respected." A lot of people look down at me because I'm weak, and treat me like I shouldn't even live. I get treated like dirt by a large population. And you're telling me to compare my life to the poor's? Do you honestly think that works? I've had enough of all the things I've gone through. If thinking about the "poor" and comparing their lifestyle to yours actually worked for most people, do you think there'd be a such a thing called "depression?" It's like admiting that you have a garbage life, and you'll just have to deal with it for how ever long you live, while you see your enemies being happy and such. I thought religion was the way of living life in love and harmony, not in fear.

After going through a rough life, do you honestly think that someone can get over it that easily? And my intention of earning money is not so that I can laugh at the people who harmed me. (Although it'd be nice to walk outside and for them to think "oh look, it's that kid I bullied. but he's rich now...") My intention for earning the money is so that I can spend it on the things I love so that I can live a fun and happy life. It's so that I can make up for all the sad times I'm having right now, and all the time I'm missing out on right now, so that I can actually be happy to live.

There's more to life than just living in defeat. Humans have emotions they can't control

 

[CosmicPathos]

Well, you're really not helping, and I can understand that. It's probably because you haven't gone through what I've been through. Heck, you'd probably won't even last a day in my shoes.

I'm a human being, and in every human being, they all have a mutual need which is to "be respected." A lot of people look down at me because I'm weak, and treat me like I shouldn't even live. I get treated like dirt by a large population. And you're telling me to compare my life to the poor's? Do you honestly think that works? I've had enough of all the things I've gone through. If thinking about the "poor" and comparing their lifestyle to yours actually worked for most people, do you think there'd be a such a thing called "depression?" It's like admiting that you have a garbage life, and you'll just have to deal with it for how ever long you live, while you see your enemies being happy and such. I thought religion was the way of living life in love and harmony, not in fear.

After going through a rough life, do you honestly think that someone can get over it that easily? And my intention of earning money is not so that I can laugh at the people who harmed me. (Although it'd be nice to walk outside and for them to think "oh look, it's that kid I bullied. but he's rich now...") My intention for earning the money is so that I can spend it on the things I love so that I can live a fun and happy life. It's so that I can make up for all the sad times I'm having right now, and all the time I'm missing out on right now, so that I can actually be happy to live.

There's more to life than just living in defeat. Humans have emotions they can't control

woah, hold your horses there. How can you be so selfish to disregard other's life experiences? You are the one who is bullying brother Alpha Dude by calling his life "a bed of roses" while in fact EVERYONE of us goes through suffering.

I am not downplaying your suffering but all I am telling you is that you need to stop thinking that you are the ONLY one suffering in life. People have suffered more than you and they have loved Allah more than you ever did, as it seems from your attitude towards the Almighty in your first post.

You cannot love Allah even though you are breathing by His permission? You cannot love Allah because He gave you that talent in "artistic development?" You cannot love Allah because of whose leave you are ABLE to complain about your suffering to us? Wow. You need to first search if you really believe in existence of Almighty Allah.

Your suffering is not unique. We have suffered, probably more than you have. I am not downplaying your experience but I am just telling you to start worrying about suffering of mankind, not just yours.

Its not clear what sort of artistic abilities you are talking about. Scholars have different opinions on making movies. If you want to make pornography or such disgusting movies as an artist, then yes it is haram. If you want to portray the realities of life, poverty, a child's story and what not then you have to do more research as to what Islam says about it.

Regarding your issue for bullying, what is Allah's fault in it? He has given those bullys the free will to do what they want and they will be punished for what they have done.

I dont think you are ugly, tiny, skinny, pathetic dude. I rather think that you can be a beautiful, cute, and awesome Muslim by submitting to Allah.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

im sorry if this comes across as harsh and forgive me if it does.

have you ever thought that you are the one with the problem. i dont mean the bullying, ocd and depression, but the fact that your personal preferences happens to be art. why dont you question yourself and ask "why it is that I personally like art," and not "why it is forbidden."

when we consider what is forbidden and permitted we have to look at 2 things:

1. the fact that the dunya has been laid out if front of us and evil from all ends have opened their doors and that every one is indulging in the haram, makes it seem that the people who do refrain themselves and fear Allah are the backwards ones and that religion=hardship. this is far from the truth.
tell me, would you really deem it an issue that art is haram if you haven't seen everyone else having fun with art.
would the drinker of khamr deem the prohibition of khamr backwards/out of date, if the majority of people didn't drink? would the zaani deem Islam backwards if the majority of people restrained themselves?

that's the thing with us people, its in our nature to deem acceptable what the masses are doing.

2. look at things in perspective. how many other types of art is permissible? if allah has forbidden 1 thing for you, then wallahi 100 other things are permitted for you.

dont let your emotion override your common sense...besides i think you may need to look into the "art issue" a little further...not everything is forbidden to draw
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/39806/drawing

instead of concentrating on loving/not hating him, why dont you concentrate more of worshiping him. move away from these issues and try not think about them-trust me it makes it worse. have a "break" from your hardships by try removing yourself emotionally away from it. in other words try stop thinking about them. tell yourself that you are on a "holiday" from thinking about them, and think about something else instead.

all those hardships you go through, trust me, only develop you into a better person.

dont get me wrong im not mocking your issues (or trying to be rude-again, forgive me if i come across that way) but akhee you need to pull yourself together.

 

[tango92]

like mad scientist said, everyone of us goes through suffering in this world. i can relate to your problems, during most of high school i was bullied and never really had close freinds. but Allah gave me strength because i was patient and found a solution rather than cursing him. soon i was on top of everybody in sports and education, but you know what, no matter where you are in life you will always think your not smart enough, not strong enough and not "acceptable" enough. there can never be fulfilment chasing a world of money and ***. then at the end of it when your in a really tight spot youll know ony Allah can help you, dont leave it that late.

i urge you spend sometime and think about what Allah has given you, there are parables relating how we can never repay Allah with all our worship even for the gift of sight we have. i know its old, but there are people in the world who are suffering worse than you. some of these people commit suicide, the fact Allah has given you strength to push through is a sign he thinks you are meant for something more.

read about islam and reflect on the signs in this life. May Allah ease your troubles. Ameen

 

[distressed]

Asif,


I read your post yesterday, but as im new to this forum, and not really up on islam i didnt know how to respond..but did think about what you have said.!

I cant really add much more to what everyone else has said but i think the guidance you need will only come when you start truly believing. Im not sure where your from or how old you are..but from reading your posting you sound really, really bitter, and you need to let that go.

first of all i to went thru bullying..its part of childhood, doesnt make it right but unfortunately it happens. a few years ago, out of the blue I got diagnosed with an illness, not life threatening but devastating all the same, i really struggled for acceptance, I too got diagnosed with depression on top of that, and it was at that point it was far too much for me to take. I was on the brink of suicide...for some reason i got through it, and im still here, my faith wasnt strong..but i made myself get help in the form of gettina good supportive network around me friends/family. Those years of my life were the worst i had to endure, but i got lead back into my faith, and although i dont really practice as much, i believe this is the reason im still here today. A year later i lost a grandparent, and then my parent got diagnosed with an illness. I could feel myself slipping in2 the depression cycle again, but i always had my faith to rely on, and it got me thru the really crappy times..and believe me i had a lot of them. My own issues i put to the back of my head, & refused to give up on my faith, as i knew i would need gods help to help me and my family through my dads illness. I had to watch my dad die, a few months ago, and you know wat.. still I have my faith in god. Can you imagine what that would be like ? to watch someone die and not be able to do anything about it ? you probably think im stupid right that i still hav faith ? I know that wat happened, was gods will, and its his choice who he takes.

I know sometimes things in life can be crap, but just cos things dont go your way doesnt mean you act like a spoilt kid and throw your toys out of the pram. Lifes about experiencing bad things too otherwise how would you really appreciate the good ?

I know you probably think everyone is being really cruel..were sooo not, the only thing i can advise you is to try and look for your answers by praying. I know im really lucky..cos things could be a lot lot worse, wen i do look around and see wats happening in the world,..i have empathy..for other people circumstances, poor etc. I think sometimes people only get brought back to their faith, when something bad happens to them.

Is there any1 into their faith..that you could maybe converse with ? what about your parents ? they into religion. ? I can 100% understand why your thinking like you are, but even with all this happening to me, i neva eva gave up. God will give you the patience/guidance that you need, if you just put your faith in him, thats all you have to do.

D

Can someone please tell me how to use the quote thing ?

 

[Abu Zainab]

Ya akhee Asif I can understand how you feel... but brother a lot of people go through much more than this. Believe me that it is the cursed shaytaan that is telling you that it is all Allaah's fault and that you should hate him etc...and if you keep on listening to his "advice" you will totally abandon religion itself. This is the shaytaan's ultimate goal.

Have you heard of prophet Ayyoub's story. He (alaihis salaam) was the best of all human beings of his time and even the angels used to praise him and speak highly of him. Shaytaan could not digest this. So he told Allaah that you have given him everything he needs in the world....why wouldnt he be thankful to you. So Allaah told him ok go and take what you want from him. To keep the story short....shaytaan destroyed all that Ayyoub alaihis salaam had including children, farms, houses and lastly his health. His health deteriorated to such an extent that his body would smell because of his wounds and he even lost his skin !! Can you imagine that !! All his relatives and friends abandoned him....some of them said "if Allaah liked you he wouldnt have put you in this situation"...Only his wife (may Alaah give her the highest places in jannah) was with him and never left him. And think about her situation as well. Can you imagine anyone bearing all that.

Did Ayyoub alaihis salaam complain to Allaah about his situation....NO....he just prayed and prayed and glorified our Lord day and night.

After that when the accursed shaytaan was dejected and defeated, Alaah restored Ayyoub alaihis salaam's health and gave him children, wealth, status...much more than what he had before.

So bow down your head towards Allaah and pray for forgiveness and seek refuge from the waswaas of shaytaan.

Try some of these things to get over your situation:

1. Join a gym or a sports club.....do some swimming every day....you will be surprised how amazing you will feel.

2. What Allaah has forbidden is FORBIDDEN.....so use your talent in some other useful way...May I suggest you learn computer programs like 3d max or Photoshop...I am sure you will learn much faster than the rest of us because of your talent. That way you can earn a lot of money and have a good career.

3. Do your prayers (salaat) 5 times a day in the masjid. Keep you heart soft. Glorify Allaah morning and evening.

Brother you will get through this....you just have to believe.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Well, you're really not helping, and I can understand that. It's probably because you haven't gone through what I've been through. Heck, you'd probably won't even last a day in my shoes.

Sorry, but this is just your nafs speaking. You think you have it worser than anybody else in the world and I've seen several people think and feel the same thing, myself included at several points in my life. It's all a silly sense of self-entitlement that our minds have concocted and since things do't go our way, we feel hard done by. I'm not just throwing words at you. These are based on my experiences and the realisations I've come to in order to deal with the different forms of hardship I've been through.

I'm trying to guide you to adopt the same approach. You need absolute conviction in your religious belief.

I know my words seem harsh at the moment to you. Not sure how old you are but InshaAllah with age and the more you experience in life, you'll be able to recognise what I'm saying.

I'm a human being, and in every human being, they all have a mutual need which is to "be respected." A lot of people look down at me because I'm weak, and treat me like I shouldn't even live. I get treated like dirt by a large population.

Bro, people will say and do stupid things all the time. Don't give them any mind. Ignore it all to the best of your abilities and be patient.

And you're telling me to compare my life to the poor's? Do you honestly think that works? I've had enough of all the things I've gone through. If thinking about the "poor" and comparing their lifestyle to yours actually worked for most people, do you think there'd be a such a thing called "depression?"

That's the thing, it should work. A rational and sane person with a sincere heart should feel grateful for the fact that while he may be going through some hardship, he doesn't have to walk ten miles to get water each day or that he doesn't live in a slum environment with nothing to eat but disease ridden carcusses of rotting animals or have to live under the constant threat of war. Forget money, it's surviving day to day that's almost unachievable. Like I said, your state is better than a billion people at least, yet you feel so hard done by?

I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. I'm making you think and reavaluate your situation. Think hard about it, sincerely and with an open mind.

The problem again is due to the horrible sense of self-entitlement that is programmed into our minds by the society, culture and consumerism driven materialistic age and place we live in.

Our Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him has said that in heaven, there will be more poor people than rich. They have high status with Allah due to the hardship that they've experienced and the fact that since they have less money, they commit less sins. So don't feel disgruntled that I've asked you to look at their situation and contrast it with yours. They are favoured by Allah. People that experience hardship are favoured. Such experiences wipe our sins and give us a cleaner slate when we reach Allah.

It's like admiting that you have a garbage life, and you'll just have to deal with it for how ever long you live, while you see your enemies being happy and such. I thought religion was the way of living life in love and harmony, not in fear.

Allah's Prophet Yusuf Alaihe Salam was picked on by his own brothers, chucked into a well and left for dead by them. He was taken away as a slave. He was wrongly accused of something he didn't do and locked in jail for several years.

Allah's Prophet Ayub Alaihe Salam was blessed with enourmous wealth, many farms and valuable property. One day thieves came and attacked his farms, killed many servants and stole all his cattle. Some time later, many of his family members died in an accident. A few years later, he started suffering skin disease. His parts of body were covered with loathsome sores. He had many ugly looking ulcers on his face and hands. The sores were full of worms. Above all, his false friends attributed his calamities to his sins. They ridiculed and looked down upon him. All the persons deserted him with the exception of his wife. She also grew tired of him in the long run and prayed for his death. She cursed her husband for retaining integrity in Allah.

These were Prophets of Allah. Not ordinary people. By your standards, did they have a 'garbage' life because of the hardships they had? In reality, it's your perception that is wrong.

Both these pious personalities never once blamed Allah for their hardship. Instead, they were patient, they perservered, they thanked Allah and they submitted to what he willed for them.

Such behaviour cannot come about except through strong connection with Allah and renunciation of this world. That is what is required by you, me and all muslims.

Our own Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alaihe Wasalam was blessed with incredible control over the people of his community. He could have lived a very rich life with tens of servants and slaves taking care of his every need. However, the life he lived was not like that at all. He was austere.

He fasted so much such that he would tie a rock around his stomach so that the pangs of hunger wouldn't get to him. He slept on a rough surface. His house was very simple. Most of the Sahaba upon them be peace were very poor too. They gave their wealth away for the sake of Allah.

Can you imagine that? Is that garbage living? No! We are here temporarily and here to be tested. Accept this with your heart.

Then you mention depression. The only reason people get into a state of 'depression' (as we understand it in psychology) after facing hardship is due to lack of conviction in Allah. It's nonsense and a state only irreligious people would fall into. With proper understanding of our purpose and true connection with Allah, a muslim would never fall into such despair.

After going through a rough life, do you honestly think that someone can get over it that easily?

I didn't say getting over it is easy. However, with true conviction and faith in Allah, you will find contentment inshaAllah and a stronger foundation with which you can face any hardship.

By contrast, being bitter toward Allah, not being patient and not submitting to his will over you, not recognising this world is a test and of no real worth, you will aways feel misery. When one thing doesn't go your way, you'll feel restless whereas with a true believer, even if ten things didn't go his way, he'd not feel anything untoward has happened. This is because he has recognised Allah. He has recognised that this place is only a test and that it is temporary.

And my intention of earning money is not so that I can laugh at the people who harmed me. (Although it'd be nice to walk outside and for them to think "oh look, it's that kid I bullied. but he's rich now...") My intention for earning the money is so that I can spend it on the things I love so that I can live a fun and happy life. It's so that I can make up for all the sad times I'm having right now, and all the time I'm missing out on right now, so that I can actually be happy to live.

What I am trying you guide you to do is build a solid foundation of faith such that no amount of hardship that you experience in life will ever make you feel low or down. Start now and make it a goal to please Allah. Forget the world as you see it now.

What's to say several years from now you do become rich and are living a happy and fulfilling life (by wordly standards) but then suddenly calamity strikes? Read here. Could you cope with such a thing? Point is, we need faith and conviction. If you do not completely embed in your mind that this life is temporary and a test Allah has given us, you will always be prone to feeling hard done by and open yourself to shaytan's whispers against Allah. You'll buy yourself nothing but misery and discontentment.

Check your purpose in life. If it's to have fun and build a happy life for yourself here, then something is wrong. Seek to attain Allah's pleasure first and foremost.

 

[piXie]

May Allaah make it easy for you. u must listen to this video, please listen to it.

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...d-Mukhtar-Ash-Shinqitee&p=1317406#post1317406

 

[Brasco]

Whenever a calamaty befalls us we just want to get relief imidiately. That's the nature of the human. Well, I have expiernced lots of horrible things and I'm still undergoing bad things, but we should not blame Allah ta'ala for those things. Don't think, that you are the only one suffring. There are people who suffer much more than you, just as the brothers and sisters mentioned. You know, I loved music - really a lot but I gave it up for the sake of Allah ta'ala. Why should I mess up Jannah?! If we really grapple with our Deen sincerely, you will come to a decision and you will give up what is contrary to Islam. Whoever seeks guidance, Allah will give him guidance!!

 

[abdullah_001]

Ok, I've been going through a lot of things in my life like constant bullying, ocd, and depression. In order to help me, you should probably read what I've gone through. I know it's long, but please. I'm at a place where I don't think I can love Allah anymore. If you can kindly read it, thank you so much. I need help.[/B]

I've been going through a lot of bullying in my life. A lot of hard times. I'm not special in any good way. I'm very skinny, small, and get laughed at for trying to stand up for myself. I've gone through some very depressing times. But I do have one talent, and that's "artistic ability." I used to think and fantisize about working in the art industry. Making my own movies and such. But I've been later told quite a few times that this kind of art is forbidden in our religion.

I'm in highschool right now, and due to my depression, my grades have been extremely low. The only thing I can rely on is if my artistic abilities can take me somewhere in life. But nooo, because this kind of animation is not allowed. Look, I'm not athletic, smart, or even a little smart. I'm not good at singing or anything. I'm not good at anything but art. Oh and please don't tell me things like "there's different forms of art like drawing nature." Please don't speak that rubbish to me, because I'm tired of hearing that, and that is the most boring form of art, and I dread anyone who enjoys it. Time is running out, there isn't that much time for me to do well in acedemics like science, math. I'm got a 17% in math last year. I think I have a 55% average this year.

I feel like I'm being meant to suffer all of this pain. I feel like Allah made me go through this on purpose. Don't blame me for thinking this. It's ironic isn't it? I'm born as a weak, unintelligent loser, in a muslim family where my kind of art (my dream) is forbidden. And I have an amazing artistic ability, but I cannot express myself through my work because of religious rules. My life is the worst thing Allah has created.

I go to my psychiatrist and he says that if I just give up my artistic ability like this, then thats very shameful. He went up on to the drawing board and drew a peaceful picture of a man, dog, sky, and all the peaceful objects you could think of. Then he turned to me and said, "Oh look at me! I'm going to hell because I drew this peaceful picture." He told me that Allah would be mad at me for not using my artistic ability to express myself. He told me to think about it logically. " Is someone destined to go to hell just because of drawing a picture of a living thing? Thats not God. God is supposed to be about love" He told me that God doesn't want me to live in fear. But thats not how I see it.

Athletic people express themselves by playing sports. Musicians play music. Comedians talk. Artists draw. Why can't I do a simple thing like this. It doesn't make any sense at all. I can't believe it. My psychiatrist says that I should pursue my dream, and that I'm not a bad person if I draw. I'm a good person. I'm not trying to be "God." I'm not trying to be Allah's sidekick. My psychiatrist says that it’s my OCD that’s causing me to think this because he doesn’t believe that God is such a judgemental being. I find it hard to believe as well.

I used to be a good kid. But all this anger is changing me. I feel hatred towards Allah. And I feel like, even if I obey Allah by not doing my art, it still won't change the fact that I hate Allah. I'm not trying to hate, but I cannot bring myself to love him. I feel like whether or not I obey him, I'll go to hell either way. I feel hatred against my parents and everyone that bullied me.. My life is over. I'm done. I feel like Allah is taking advantage of me. Just because I'm a worthless human, and Allah is God. I can't do anything to him. So what if I suffer, Allah doesn't have to care. Allah has everything he needs, and not caring about one pathetic human won't hurt Allah will it? So what if this human lives in suffering. How is that going to Affect Allah...

When you go through a rough time in your life, you can look into the future and be who you want to be. You'll be rich, and all those people who bullied you in the past will be forgotten because they'll never have a successful career like you. But not me, oh no. I’ll be suffering 24/7 while all those jerks get accepted to all those universities and programs that make their dreams come true.
Is there anyway where I could make my art without being sinful? You know, I probably won’t be accepted to heaven, but I don’t want to go to hell though. Is there a place for muslims who don’t become accepted to heaven or hell. Like a place where there is no torture. I think I’ve been through enough in this life, so I don’t need to go through another cycle in the afterlife. Is there any ritual I need to do in this life in order to go to that place? Dead serious question.

Brother, it seems you think you are so lost that there is no hope for you. Brother, we must never lose hope in Allah(swt).

Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an, "Say; O My servants who have transgressed against their souls; despair not of the Mercy of Allah: For Allah forgives all sins; for He is oft Forgiving, most Merciful.” S39: 53

And Allah (swt) says in a hadith, "O Son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O Son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O Son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins as great as the earth, and were you then to face Me ascribing no partners to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it."

Brother, our problems are very minute and nonexistent in comparison to the might and mercy of Allah (swt). Our actions have no effects on anything other than ourselves.

This life is a test and we should be patient in difficult and trying times. Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an "Verily! Allah is with the patient", and patience is the best characteristic a person could have.

You consider yourself weak, brother, but Abu Bakr (ra) was so skinny that his izaar would not stay firmly on his waist. Yet he is the only companion (at least as far as I know, please correct me if I'm wrong) who participated in all the battles during the lifetime of Prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam).
Your weakness is in your mind brother, there have been people who have gone through much much much more than us; both before us and during our times.

Don't worry about anyone who laughs or cries at you, they will all end up in graves just like us one day. We will see who cries and who laughs then.

And as far as art is concerned, you could just draw non-living things. I don't think that drawing non-living things is forbidden, at least as far as I know.

Only Allah (swt) knows best.

 

[marwen]

I've been going through a lot of bullying in my life. A lot of hard times. I'm not special in any good way. I'm very skinny, small, and get laughed at for trying to stand up for myself. I've gone through some very depressing times. But I do have one talent, and that's "artistic ability." I used to think and fantisize about working in the art industry. Making my own movies and such. But I've been later told quite a few times that this kind of art is forbidden in our religion.

I'm in highschool right now, and due to my depression, my grades have been extremely low. The only thing I can rely on is if my artistic abilities can take me somewhere in life. But nooo, because this kind of animation is not allowed. Look, I'm not athletic, smart, or even a little smart. I'm not good at singing or anything. I'm not good at anything but art. Oh and please don't tell me things like "there's different forms of art like drawing nature." Please don't speak that rubbish to me, because I'm tired of hearing that, and that is the most boring form of art, and I dread anyone who enjoys it. Time is running out, there isn't that much time for me to do well in acedemics like science, math. I'm got a 17% in math last year. I think I have a 55% average this year.

Small, skinny, not athletic ? brother do you think you're really suffering ? I think you're just over reacting here. Many brothers are blind, pralalysed, or suffering from cancer and they never blame Allah, they only say Alhamdulillah, because Allah has given us these gifts and he can get them back whenever he wants, and we have no right to blame Allah for anything happening to us. But I don't think you're so bad. I used to be skinny in school and yes there is always these bully stupid guys who are moking every one, And I can't blame Allah for that.
No one is perfect in this life. Even these people you feel they're better than you, they have also many problems and many defects. Real perfect life is in Jannah brother.

I feel like I'm being meant to suffer all of this pain. I feel like Allah made me go through this on purpose. Don't blame me for thinking this. It's ironic isn't it? I'm born as a weak, unintelligent loser, in a muslim family where my kind of art (my dream) is forbidden. And I have an amazing artistic ability, but I cannot express myself through my work because of religious rules. My life is the worst thing Allah has created.

Allah dosen't hate us, and doesn't intend to hurt us. We may encounter some hardship in our life, but that's only testing from Allah : if we are patient and strong we get rewarded, and if we behave stupidly and start to blame Allah and to loose our faith we fail the test. Every one is tested in this life : the way you look, your sickness, being hurt by others, ... And the most people loved by Allah get the hardest testing so they get the better reward. Prophet Muhammed (s.a.w) has been hurt by his people, he lost the most people he love, he was moked by the most stupid people and he lived always poor : do you think Allah hates the prophet (s.a.w), No that's because he loves him the most.
And btw, I'm not really learned to tell you how far artistic works are forbidden by Islam. But you can avoid them if you have strong imaan. You have to be a muslim first then artist in a second place. But I think you're thinking as an artist in the first place, and I think that's why you have problems understanding how Merciful Allah is.

I go to my psychiatrist and he says that if I just give up my artistic ability like this, then thats very shameful. He went up on to the drawing board and drew a peaceful picture of a man, dog, sky, and all the peaceful objects you could think of. Then he turned to me and said, "Oh look at me! I'm going to hell because I drew this peaceful picture." He told me that Allah would be mad at me for not using my artistic ability to express myself. He told me to think about it logically. " Is someone destined to go to hell just because of drawing a picture of a living thing? Thats not God. God is supposed to be about love" He told me that God doesn't want me to live in fear. But thats not how I see it.

"He told me to think about it logically" : No brother, Allah's will is not always discussed "logically". Yes we can sometimes understand the purpose of some islamic rules by our limited minds, but there is some rules which are beyond our capacities, and it's better to ask a learned muslim scholar about Islam than to ask a psychiatric.

Athletic people express themselves by playing sports. Musicians play music. Comedians talk. Artists draw. Why can't I do a simple thing like this. It doesn't make any sense at all. I can't believe it. My psychiatrist says that I should pursue my dream, and that I'm not a bad person if I draw. I'm a good person. I'm not trying to be "God." I'm not trying to be Allah's sidekick. My psychiatrist says that it’s my OCD that’s causing me to think this because he doesn’t believe that God is such a judgemental being. I find it hard to believe as well.

What's this strong desire about expressing yourself? Do you really need to express yourself by pictures ? isn't there many other means of expression. I think the best way of expressing yourself is not the way you look (athletic, fashioned,..) and it's not how good is you voice and your singing, and it's not by music or by painting : these activities are so crowded by distraction and romance and ambiguity so the message is not really clear. I mean except photographs which are clear and real photos, the other hand drawing pictures are so difficult to understand.
I think the best way to express yourself is by talking to others (I think you should try it) and by writing(try to make your own blog to express yourself). and there is no problem in Islam about that.

I used to be a good kid. But all this anger is changing me. I feel hatred towards Allah. And I feel like, even if I obey Allah by not doing my art, it still won't change the fact that I hate Allah. I'm not trying to hate, but I cannot bring myself to love him. I feel like whether or not I obey him, I'll go to hell either way. I feel hatred against my parents and everyone that bullied me.. My life is over. I'm done. I feel like Allah is taking advantage of me. Just because I'm a worthless human, and Allah is God. I can't do anything to him. So what if I suffer, Allah doesn't have to care. Allah has everything he needs, and not caring about one pathetic human won't hurt Allah will it? So what if this human lives in suffering. How is that going to Affect Allah...

Brother, it's better to avoid making decisions or to say anything (especially about Allah) when you are angry. Try to calm down, and then think again about your life and your problems. You're now suffering from your entourage and you have problem with some bully guys in school : try to fix this problem with them or keep away from them, but never blame Allah for something done by humans.

Brother you're really thinking just about this life and you must think about the hereafter. Allah's justice cannot be understood just in this life. You have to make the overall sum about what you got in this life(hardship, suffering) and what you will get in the hereafter(jannah, goodeternal life) and you will realise that among us no one is better than the other.

And please can someone change the thread's title : I really feel guilty just reading it !

 

[جوري]

Is this you?


How about this?

how about your brothers in Islam?

Are you one of them? or the millions like them? Sob7an Allah.. you have your health and senses and even Internet connection with which to deny the blessings of Allah swt..

Sob7an Allah yet again.. perhaps it pays to spend a day in the service of others less fortunate than you .. maybe go to the children's hospital the oncology section? then come let us know how much you hate Allah because you were 'bullied'!

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

Aslaamu`alaaykum
^Yet these people LOVE ALLAAH! SubhaanAllaah
Brother seek out to Allaah, make dua, supplicate to him, to help you. if your not gonna ask him for help then who? we people can only advice you, and nothing more , nothing less....
Seems like you never you never asked him and told him how you feel? you should read up on the stories of the Prophet peace be upon them all and the final Prophet Muhammad sallahu alayhi wa salam. You should be THankful for what you got.. study Islaam then you will feel better, how the prophets (pbut) dealt with such situations and REMMEBER, They were set as an EXAMPLE for mankind to understand!
Look at the good side instead of the negative.

Wa alaaykum Salaam