I can't take this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Roha Shama]

You need to protect yourself. Black magic is serious. You're right that a man cannot marry another women if he is unable to provide and treat them equally. Whatever pain and struggles you and your mother go through because of the oppression you feel then Allah will compensate for it on judgment day. He hears all pleas. Please have patience and read quran and stick to your salah. Get the protection for the black magic as no magic can hurt you if Allah has not willed it to. The woman has many rights and to be treated like a slave is unacceptable islamically

Thank you so much for understanding me!

 

[aaj]

I know that it's ok for someone to marry another woman and ruin the first one's life and right? what kind of right is this,did you know how worse our freaking lives got when my dad married that woman it is the illiteracy as i told you,why don't you understand that's 100% true you don't live here ok you will never truly understand what kind of pain we are going through because of our dad's mistakes it makes me so freaking angry when people say it's ok for someone to marry more than one woman,how will you provide for the others my dad can't even fully provide for her and for us equally,yes you only think of the pleasures,men will also be taken to hell by the women they tortured did you know that? it's not my fault you can't understand a woman's pain,Allah only ordered you men to marry other women if you can provide for them or they are widows and in need of someone not women of you're freaking choice or ruining the first wife's life or her children's my dad did the same mistake he had a freaking affair with her as well she's also a gold digger she only came for my dad's money she knew he was a doctor and how much money they make she also tried to kill my siblings so we would get out of her way! she freaking practices black magic why are you ignoring that? i'm sorry for being rude and everything but that's how i've become because of hearing a lot of ignorance.....no i'm not going against Allah's commands but ruining the first one's life isn't right either.:Emoji19:and that's also the reason i changed my last name to my mother's i respect her more than me father because he's crooked i've seen how he tortures mum,no i'm not a crazy feminist or anything i just think women deserve the rights you took from them,yes hate on me for saying that,think what you want to think i don't care anymore!!!

I said it is ok and allowed in Islam to marry more than one woman provided they meet the conditions of it. I know most woman hate to hear it but that is Islam and his God given right. By stating your dad is well educated and yet he still took another wife when it is the illiterate who do it is wrong. It doesn't matter if you are well educated or illiterate, the decision to marry another woman is not based on illiteracy but rather Islam. It is within their Islamic rights to do so, provided they meet the conditions of it. I'm sorry for your suffering but you still can't generalize it like you did.

You said he is well educated with a good job as a dematoligist. If that is the case then he should be making good money. If he is not giving both wives equal share then that is another issue. It's ironic you say he can't provide for you and yet he has money because the other woman is a gold digger who came for his money.

So if he has the money (which he obviously does being a doctor) and can afford to marry another woman then he can do that. Also, just because you have met bad people live does not mean your country is full of bad people or every single one, 100% of them are evil. That is pure generalization based on your bias.

Regarding your particular situation. Of course he is in the wrong if he is not giving your family their islamic rights in all aspects. And he should not be marrying evil women, especially if he knows they are evil. So this is not an issue of him taking another wife, rather an issue of him not giving your family your islamic rights and marrying an evil women who means to harm you. It's important to keep that perspective otherwise you will end up hating the world, leading you to a very resentful negative path you don't want to go down.

Regarding you taking your mom's name as your last name, you are being emotional here. You cannot do that, despite how bad your dad may be, he is still your biological father and you are going against Islam by denying him that right and messing with the lineage. Two wrongs don't make a right.

As for the other women doing black magic, if you know this to be true then you and your family should protect themselves with islamic surahs and duas against black magic. That is more important than all the other things.

may Allah make things easy on your family, ameen.

 

[Khadijah.Colin]

With regard to marrying other women. It's something as a believer that you cannot argue, this is Allah's law. You want to dispute it with Him? Of course not but perhaps your dad needs to be educated with regards to the rules and regulations regarding the issue. As aaj just stated, it goes against sharia to take your mother's name. I pray Allah eases your struggles.

 

[Roha Shama]

With regard to marrying other women. It's something as a believer that you cannot argue, this is Allah's law. You want to dispute it with Him? Of course not but perhaps your dad needs to be educated with regards to the rules and regulations regarding the issue. As aaj just stated, it goes against sharia to take your mother's name. I pray Allah eases your struggles.

why is it against sharia when at the day of judgement every human being will be known by his or her mother's name?

 

[Roha Shama]

I said it is ok and allowed in Islam to marry more than one woman provided they meet the conditions of it. I know most woman hate to hear it but that is Islam and his God given right. By stating your dad is well educated and yet he still took another wife when it is the illiterate who do it is wrong. It doesn't matter if you are well educated or illiterate, the decision to marry another woman is not based on illiteracy but rather Islam. It is within their Islamic rights to do so, provided they meet the conditions of it. I'm sorry for your suffering but you still can't generalize it like you did.

You said he is well educated with a good job as a dematoligist. If that is the case then he should be making good money. If he is not giving both wives equal share then that is another issue. It's ironic you say he can't provide for you and yet he has money because the other woman is a gold digger who came for his money.

So if he has the money (which he obviously does being a doctor) and can afford to marry another woman then he can do that. Also, just because you have met bad people live does not mean your country is full of bad people or every single one, 100% of them are evil. That is pure generalization based on your bias.

Regarding your particular situation. Of course he is in the wrong if he is not giving your family their islamic rights in all aspects. And he should not be marrying evil women, especially if he knows they are evil. So this is not an issue of him taking another wife, rather an issue of him not giving your family your islamic rights and marrying an evil women who means to harm you. It's important to keep that perspective otherwise you will end up hating the world, leading you to a very resentful negative path you don't want to go down.

Regarding you taking your mom's name as your last name, you are being emotional here. You cannot do that, despite how bad your dad may be, he is still your biological father and you are going against Islam by denying him that right and messing with the lineage. Two wrongs don't make a right.

As for the other women doing black magic, if you know this to be true then you and your family should protect themselves with islamic surahs and duas against black magic. That is more important than all the other things.

may Allah make things easy on your family, ameen.

i told you he married her to ruin my my mother's life why don't you understand it was a whole agenda by my dad's black magician family right again? seriously sometimes it's not a right when it comes to torturing the first one or her children mister,you actually don't know the actual situation of my house that is why you think i'm wrong,do you know what people here are saying "when my dad had a nice wife and four children including a son" why did he have the need to marry her,does Islam say torture your wife until her bones break? (which my dad used to do with my mother)does Islam say marry more women to torture the first wife and her children?,sorry i didn't tell you properly that ironic thing he avoids spending money on us yet he has the right to provide money for us we are in freaking schools and universities we cannot provide for ourselves he spends more on her ok and he's also suffering did you know that?he's becoming weaker day by day now that he married another woman she's also torturing my father mentaly,yes she's an evil woman an extremely evil woman i tell you by the way my mom and dad are cousins,well isn't she my mother?don't i have a blood relation with her so why am i not allowed to use her name when i'm sick of my father i changed my name because i couldn't bear him coming home and then torturing mum for no reason at all you think my mother did something against him?no she didn't she bore his slavery since she was married to him,but why isn't it ok for someone to use their mother's name in this world when at the the day of judgement every human being will be known by their mother's name?yes the black magic thing is very true,i'm just furious right now,i've stopped trusting people i think everyone is bad,i wanted to end my life once and for all but it's haram so i didn't do it and lived my miserable life on.....

 

[Khadijah.Colin]

why is it against sharia when at the day of judgement every human being will be known by his or her mother's name?

In the saheeh sunnah we will be attributed to our fathers names, not mother's name. Hope this helps.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Roha Shama;

umm i haven't thought of marriage plus i think it's icky don't blame me,i won't be even ready for that even when i'll be in my 20's

I can understand why you would not be enthusiastic about getting married. but I was trying to make a slightly different point, so you might try and understand life from your parents perception. Just supposing in a few years time you did get married, what training would you get? What training did your parents have that prepared them for marriage?

Marriage has to be one of the toughest things we do in life, an imperfect man, marries an imperfect woman, they have imperfect children and they all try and live in harmony together in an imperfect world. I have only been married for thirty one years, and even without black magic, life is a constant struggle, going from one crisis to the next. Parents get things wrong, they have good intentions, and still things go wrong. Life requires a lot of effort, the temptation might be to stay in bed, or just do the enjoyable bits you like to do, but Allah has given us responsibilities. life seems to demand that you keep pushing yourself to do more, you have to keep trying with the tough bits of learning, never give up.

The struggle in life is always trying to be kind to everyone, especially when you feel that those around you seem to be horrible. Look for good things about your family, your mum and dad must have something good about them.

Pray for your mum and dad and your family, fight all battles with kindness, try and make their life easier. If you can make their life slightly better, they may even help you more. Families are important to Allah.

In the spirit of praying for peace and harmony.

Eric

 

[Roha Shama]

In the saheeh sunnah we will be attributed to our fathers names, not mother's name. Hope this helps.

woah thanks i feel like a fool now

 

[M.I.A.]

a person has so many fresh starts.. it is very easy to bring all your baggage along with you.

all those feelings of despair and hopelessness are probably of your own making.. im not saying they don't exist.

but things are not always as we see them, a messed up family and yet they decide for you to even have an education?

it probably aint cheap either.. what messed up values you have.

its another fresh start. something you do today for some benefit tomorrow..

and its always the same with every fresh start.

make of it what you will. make of it what you are willing to make of it.

iv worked with a lot of young people.. and sometimes they cant understand what it takes for them to get what they want..

it means putting forward something entirely out of character.

ironically we are mostly stuck as we are.. we all make our own mistakes.

learn from them..

i only know about the worldly life.. so take most of what i have to say with a pinch of salt.

i have no idea what sort of student the teacher finds or what sort of teacher the student finds.

we are all things to all people for a time.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Roha Shama;

You may not understand this, but you are probably stronger than many of us on this forum. Most of us can get up in the morning, and not be too stressed about what the day will bring. But it sounds as if you have a list of worries to face every day when you get up. You have managed to keep going so far, so that means you do have an inner strength.

There is a lovely prayer that I like....

Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live with the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.​

Try and understand the prayer like this. there are so many things you do not have the power to change, you can't change the past, you can't change other people, you can't change where you live, or the lack of money, black magic and more. But in the prayer you ask Allah to help you to live in peace with all the bad stuff that you cannot change.

The second line, is to change the things you can. The bottom line seems to be, that you can only change yourself, and how you react to all the bad stuff. Somehow, you say to yourself, this is not going to get me down, I am strong, I can deal with all this. I can pray for the strength to get me through today, I can pray that Allah will help and guide me to do his will.

The last line of the prayer is the most important, the wisdom to know the difference. If you concentrate on wanting to change the things that are out of your power to change, this will lead to depression and suicidal thoughts. Depression takes away all your energy to do things and change. There are things in this life we just have to accept and live with, most of us have little power.

I am an optimist, I always keep trying to fight all battles with loving kindness, life is a struggle, always one day at a time until death, and I am only 67.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery, Lord grant me the peace and serenity to live this day and every day, knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.

In the spirit of praying for a peace of mind that surpasses all understanding.

Eric

 

[greenhill]

Salaams..

I get the impression that you are very aware of your surroundings since young and very self aware since then too. As a result perhaps cannot make sense of the chaotic nature of people in general. And from then the gap has just grown. Ingrained into your fibre as it grows with you… with home school and I guess not much interaction between people can lead to even more acute divide in understanding; not so much in the general intellect, but on the social skills.

Br. Eric said it good. Constructive, too!

Plus, I keep hearing people say that Allah loves people that struggle more in His cause than those who find it easy. You are already at an advantage for your permanent abode… earth it is only temporary …

You re being tested for a greater reward. Just ask Allah to give you the patience and if there is a 'lesson' to be learnt, or a course of action to be taken, to please make it simple for you to 'see'. But I think Br Eric has said pretty much the essence of it.

Do you have friends?

Maybe you may need older people as friends, not your peers.. just commenting...


eace: