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michellee

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Hello everyone,

Let me start off by saying that I know that the concept of marriage is very important in Islam.
My main issue arises from the fact that I am a very private person. I don't like to associate myself with too many people and I like to be alone for the most part. Being a woman, I do feel like my insecurities play a huge role in staying away from marriage. It terrifies me to know that muslim men aren't only looking for good will, they want someone who is essentially perfect (the ideal woman portrayed by the media). The responsibilities and the ritual aspect of marriage is another aspect that hinders me from tying the knot. I do want to fulfill my duties as a muslim woman but I would want nothing more than to stay single for the rest of my life.

I am only 22 and I don't ever picture myself getting married. My parents have never asked me to get married, nor have they ever spoken to me about this topic (which I am grateful for).

So essentially what I am trying to ask is: Can someone provide me with more knowledge of what I can do to change my views? What does Islam say to women (like myself) who are insecure both physically and mentally? How do I come to trust men and their intentions?

I know there are good men out there but I have seen muslim men, who pray five times a day, act in a manner that is haram. Men are out having affairs, getting in bed with women who are not muslim (yet they want to ensure that their future wife is a virgin and righteous). When I see double standards like these, I feel like it's not worth it for me to get married and deal with what comes after.

Am I the only who feels this way? Please enlighten me.

Thank you in advance!
 
Aselam aleykum
Look, no offence, but that idea is bigotry. Sure there are bad guys out there, just as there are bad woman. But to generalise is just bad.
Secondly, you seem to be implying that you don't want a marriage, because you don't like the view you have on how married life might be. But the thing is, your view is very restricted. There are many ways in which a marriage can work, and it doesn't always have to be the same stereotypical dynamic. There is someone out there who fits you like a glove. Just don't stop believeing in it.
 
:sl:
maybe im wrong but i think u have much emotional support from ur family/ parent/friends so at that point u don't feel that u need someone in ur life. but u know Allah SWT has created every things in pair and he has created some spiritual and physical needs in human that cant be fulfill without marriage. so hopefully with time u feel u need someone in ur life. secondly no1 is perfect and yes some ppl are more near perfection than other and for these ppl to compromise and get along with others is bit difficult but hope for the best. maybe one day someone click you and u feel he is right for u.