I ended it, but I still miss him

[hakeema]

Assalamu ailaikum dear sisters and brothers,

Some time ago, I met a guy at work. He was very friendly and kind, and I developed some feelings for him. You may call it a crush, if you wish. I didn't do anything to show my interest in him at first, I just secretly hoped in my heart that one day we would end up together and get married (silly me!).
Then, one day, he starting showing more interest in me and we exchanged our social media contacts... I was over the moon!
He soon started texting me, and for a whole month it was a regular thing: every day, he would send me a silly joke, or a picture of what he was doing, a movie, etc.
And I answered every time... I got carried away, all the while knowing that having such a "relationship" with a guy was not exactly the most Islamic thing to do.
After chatting with him for so long I realized that, even though he was Muslim, he was not observant at all. He didn't pray, he cursed, he smoked, and he has even drunk some alcohol in the past.
So I got really scared that maybe he wasn't seriously interested in me like I was in him... maybe he saw me as an inexperienced girl, an "easy target", and thought of giving me a try.
I talked to my parents and they said that if he really had good intentions, he would be standing outside our door asking for my hand instead of sending me so many texts.
So I abruptly stopped answering his texts. Thank God, we don't have to interact much at work either, so it's been a while since I last spoke to him.

I know that I've sinned. Talking to a guy like this is not proper for a Muslim girl, and I feel so stupid for having done so.
I've asked Allah to forgive me over and over... I cried so much and got so depressed I wish I was dead.
Nonetheless, I still really like this guy. I miss our chats, and in those rare occasions in which we see each other in person at work I (unfortunately) can't help myself and keep being friendly to him, as if nothing happened.

I am trying my best to stay away from him, and to never repeat what I did again... but do you think I did the right thing in ending this "relationship"? What if he actually wanted to marry me, but when he saw I stopped answering him he thought I lost all interest in him? What if, through a relationship with me, he would have got closer to Allah and become a more observant Muslim?
I am so confused... I'm mad at myself for acting like a fool, and I am so worried that I will never find another man I'll be happy with.

Was I right in ending this relationship?

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

100% you were right because you saw the red flags and decided to obey Allah instead, and inshallah Allah will replace him with something better.
Even if he wants to marry you, you know deep down inside that this person is not suitable because of he lacks qualities that a proper muslim partner should have.
Don't run with your emotions and remember to stick to your islamic standards of choosing a spouse.
Also don't let shaytan make you think that you'd be a reason to change this person. A person's faith is in Allah's hands solely, and by committing haram you would be doing a disservice to yourself and to him. You can easily fall into a trap and desert your morals if you start thinking of reasons to keep him around. If he is meant to be yours, then it is best to have him under the right circumstances in a halal way with Allah's blessings. Otherwise, you'll be setting yourself up for failure and remorse trying to follow your desires and not trusting in Allah's provisions.