I feel broken and alone

[Studentofdeed]

I feel very bitter about life and angry. All my sacrifices I made to Allah feel in vain. I'm sinning because I think it would keep the pain away when in reality I end up feeling even more miserable and lonely. People do not even consider me as Muslim. I'm being boycotted and disrespected. I just feel useless and lonely. I have so much hatred and anger in me towards the muslim community because of my past experiences.

I'm still trying to get over from betrayal. I loved a girl and I did want to marry her only she was very abusive and controlling. She scared me and I felt miserable when I was with her. After false hope and promises, she married another man. People say it's not my fault and I should be grateful that I did not marry someone abusive but I still blame myself. I feel maybe I should I have just married her as soon as I met her. I just felt like it was too fast and I did not even know her properly. I just feel like Allah does not care about me. I'm sick of being lonely and many nonmuslim girls have made their intentions towards me of haram, yet I always rejected them for the sake of Allah. Alhamdullah I'm grateful but I do not see the fruits of my work.

The young muslim men and women in my community have no respect and are out flirting and commiting all kinds of haram. Only few are actually decent and religious. Yet despite that, each and eveyone of those families do not think me worthy despite me trying and their daughter being not as good as they think.
I thought Allah would honor me or love me yet each day I only seem to get further and further from him.

 

[Douaa]

I think you should pray alot and make many doas that Alaah help you and give you a good girl to marry
Do not be so pessimistik
Hope you feel better soon

 

[taha_]

Assalam o Alaikum rahamutullahi wa baraktuhu brother.

I love you for sake of Allah. Allah loves you, He is only putting you under trials to make you strong Muslim. He still cares about you, what you are feeling about Him is Shaytan's work. Shaytan wants you to feel despaired of His mercy, which is disbelief. Just ignore him simple. Don't belittle your sacrifice. It is very important. That girl, Allah has revealed her true color. once again say thank to Allah for that. Because of your past experience you faced and that it has hurt you badly, i don't think you might be ready for marriage, only Allah knows best.

Yet despite that, each and eveyone of those families do not think me worthy

No need to be concerned about it. it is considered as riyaa (showing off) to please people with good deeds, they don't know your deeds you done.. Instead only please Allah. Just don't let shaytan attack you.

I thought Allah would honor me or love me yet each day

He still loves you.

Try focus on Quran, following sunnah of prophet peace be upon him. do more dikhr, and recite more durood, but be moderate about that. By the way, can you migrate to other town? it could be better and safe. Allah knows best.

JazakAllah khair

 

[Abdulmalik2015]

walaikum salam brother,
I am new to posting here but I see it as what Allah has prepaired me for. I posted a little while ago about missing prayers. I have never lost my faith in Allah's providence over us nor his love for each and every one of his serventants who call on him daily. I pray for your situation and ask Allah's mercy and protection over you in this trial, which is what it is. Allah, as the Prophet, PBUH, told us, prepaires us through trials to receive what He has in store for us. The Prophet, PBUH, also mentioned that when Allah takes something aways from us, He is simply prepairing the way for something better. The woman whom you speak of is gone. Nothing can be done of that. Shaytan wants to keep us in the past dwelling over the if and could ofs. Prophet, PBUH, says " (If) opens the door to shaytan". When we dwell on the past we fail to see what Allah has placed in front of us. Akhee, look in front of you and see the beauty that Allah has opened up for you. Don't despair of the mercy of Allah, simply keep asking Him to open your eyes to what He has layed out for you. Keep strong even when the time feels weak, and never, ever feel that Allah does not love you or that your sacrifices are in vain. Intention is what the Prophet, PBUH, told us counts in our actions. Develop a pure Niya', perform the action and let Allah decide what He accepts and doesn't accept. Don't take that out of Allah's hands, we couldn't if we tried.
Assalamu Alaikum Akhee.

 

[whitedove]

Salamualaikum.

My advice to you through personal experience and having gone through so much in life and seen so much. Sometimes we can go through the worst with something better in store. Sometimes we want certain things.... we want them badly, we believe if we get just that 1 thing it is the answer and solution to guaranteed happiness but the truth is sometimes our judgement is clouded by emotion and the inability to see into the future. For example my point is as much as you loved that girl, perhaps had you been successful in marrying her, you would have had 6 years of hell with her, utter hell, misery, and mental torture, followed by divorce, followed by another few years trying to get over the additional heartbreak and disrespect from her. It sounds like you went through quite a battle with her even before this anyway. So it could well be that Allah in fact saved you. I understand it doesn't feel that way. And when you are in love, you lose sense of logic in the moment but trust me it was for the best according to what you have said. Sometimes patience is required. It could well be that in 1 years time you meet an amazing girl who is everything you ever wanted, someone who you have the best life with, a good girl who makes a loving wife and you share a promising life ahead of you. Life can be unfair and sometimes disappointment after disappointment can hurt ( I know ) but sometimes we have to look at things from another perspective. We could be in worse situations. Look at how many innocent Muslims have died through war, through no fault of their own, in Palestine, Iraq, Libya. Think of how many people get affected by natural disasters, think about right now kids who live in extreme poverty, who live in slums, don't have clean drinking water, who the very basics of life are so hard to come by. And let's think of all the good things we DO have, a roof over our heads, whatever food we want, we have opportunity here education wise, job wise. I know it sucks when we have our mind really fixated on something we want, but sometimes when we least expect it those things will come to us. This life is temporary and we have to try make the most of what we have, try look at the good, shift your mindset. We all our experience bad, some of us more than others. And like someone said earlier sometimes God tests us. Even our prophet (pbu) went through countless hardship. When I try to imagine what he went through, people throwing rocks and rubbish at him, people wanting to kill him. Look at us nowadays I mean one person can say something stupid to me and I'll be annoyed the rest of the day lol. So my message is here is we have to try and be stronger. Be confident in that it is there loss. Know what you have to offer and believe that it is saved and deserved for the right woman. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[greenhill]

Salaams.

From my reading, you are still young and life has still much to offer you. Know that life is a marathon and you are still in the early stages, in syaa Allah.

Everyday although appears the same, it offers different opportunities for us. To be patient, to be creative etc or to remain angry and ungrateful etc with the happenings around us.

You said “She scared me and I felt miserable when I was with her”... that alone, in my mind tells me that you should be ever grateful to Allah that the decision was removed from you to make, because obviously you couldn’t.

Already the relationship was heading for trouble considering that the person you want to be with made you feel that way! Not a good beginning and definitely one that would lead to a more horrible ending.

So now that that decision is already made, find ways to thank Allah (submitting to His Will) and pray that He replaces with one that would draw out and share love, care and ways of Allah in you.

When it comes to your peers and other people, what is important is to be true to yourself. Know you own values and stick to them because you will be judged on your actions. You are not out to prove yourself to anybody.

Build your own contentment.


eace:

 

[BeTheChange]

Asalamualykum,

I think we should stop worshipping Allah swt based on our emotions and current situation. We should strengthen and work towards a relationship whereby we love Allah swt unconditionally no matter what situation we find ourselves in. You need to look at the bigger picture. Yes today your situation is like this but tomorrow it will change or in 5 years time it will change. Our lives are forever changing be it for the better or worse.

Some members of the muslim community can be harsh, judgemental and negative however you need to limit your interaction or remove those toxic people from your life completely if possible. Do what is in your power. Please isolate yourself and deidcate a certain time of the day where you read quran this will help you insha Allah. Do some excesie too because this will lift your moods.

Remember life is a matter of perspective. 2 peoplw can both face rejection from a girl for example. One will see it as his world has ended whereas the other will know that this was written for him and Allah swt is the best of planners. Why worry about the past, present or future when the king of the worlds is holding your back? Subhana Allah. Be true to the rights of Allah swt and spend some some time knowing your value insha Allah you will be ok. Work on your own self esteem, self love and confidence. Don't let people belittle you. Trust me people words are the last thing we will care about when we are no longer in this world.

Please have sabar and don't compare yourself to the people of today. Majority will take you to the hell fire and shaytaan is getting very desperate as his time is nearly up. Look at what's happening all around us. It is better for you to go to school, college etc. and then come home straight away. You will find more peace and save yourself from so many different types of fitna. Smile and laugh with your loved ones. Life is too short!

 

[BeTheChange]

As brother Greenhill mentioned build your own contentment because the truth of the matter is everyone leaves this world with unmet desires, wants and needs.

One last practical tip everytime you feel alone. Remove that thought and replace it with Allah swt is with me. Trust me you will never feel lonely or lost ever again. The sad reality is some people feel alone in marriages as well so even if you get married you might not feel complete so again i advise you life is a matter of perspective. Be happy Alhamdulilah.

 

[Studentofdeed]

Jazakallah Khayran everyone. I am really touched by all your advice. I will definitely apply it inshallah. I am grateful Allah has saved me from many calamities. It is hard but as you said there those out there who suffer more. I will do what I can to keep my iman high. May Allah bless you all with the best of both worlds

It.means alot to me your advices. I love you all for the sake of Allah