[anonymous]

Salam

im a muslimah struggling with depression and have been experiencing so many difficulties in life. I feel incredibly depressed and lost all hope. I made sins in the past and found it hard to get over them and feel overwhelmed. I fell into watching porn recently because I seem to have lost all my shame and morals. I want to start practicing and turning away from fitna because my imam is very weak. But I feel very overwhelmed with depression and it's hard to be positive. How should I start getting my life on track? I wish my depression and sadness will go away it's ruined my life but it's too hard for it to leave me.

 

[M.I.A.]

dont wrong your eyes today, maybe tomorrow they wont wrong you.

same applies to your hands.


...i have no idea what im saying.

allah swt punishes and forgives as he wills.

https://quran.com/27:12


although the exodus account differs..

thanks google..

maybe save that for later threads.


hopefully strive to not be a torn person.

 

[AnnaK]

I've had to deal with roughly the same feelings. Stopping porn is like stopping doing cocaine (although I've never done that before, I'm assuming it's similar). Ending cold Turkey may be very difficult, so start getting better at it.

Go one day without looking at it. If you made it then congratulations, you made a new record. Then try and go for two, three, four, and so forth. Changing a major habit overnight is next to impossible, so do your best to set new records on days without porn, and keep going until you can finally stop.

 

[arkham]

sister,
I'm not a scholar or mufti, however I know few things that I think may help you.

Anas (RAA) narrated that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:
“All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who repent often.”

Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."
(Az Zamar)

Sister, We all make mistakes. but we are dealing with Ar-Rehman(swt). Allah is forgiving. You are already feeling bad and that means He is alreading guiding you, all you need to do now is to make tauba and stop this sin alltogether. Insha Allah, He wont let you go astray again and will forgive you.

If it still don't work for your than remember one thing.. Always remember the destroyers of pleasures... Death !

 

[Umm Malik]

Ask Allah more and more ... let yourself busy with worshiping Allah make a lot of istighfar
Let your heart feel the seeing of Allah ... don't be in the places which led you to sins go to masjid have a sisters and make a goals to achieve them read the book of Allah and hear about akhirah and tell yourself that may be I will die know did I can meet Allah with this
Blame yourself after every time you do this sin and ask Allah to save you cry to him and pray to be from among the repantant
The best thing to stop any sin is to know that Allah doesn't love it and to began to stop it and to do more good deeds beside it and to ask Allah to protect you and the most important thing to know is that the change for the sake of Allah is the best change but to change to the best is hard but the hardest is the feeling of disobedience and letting your good and happy moments closed and limited to the time of sins
Make repentence and change your life, let those things far and start to live the best life
Life is short ... we don't know how much we will live
Try your best and if Allah see a good effort from you .. he will help you for sure
All that good things are good for you... Allah will not be greater with our good deeds he is already the greatest but since you be close to him you will tell us how much you feel happy
May Allah be with you sister
Allah is near is marsiful and he will help you because your heart love him and you are trying to pleased him
Repentance is easy with Allah's help
You need just to decide and to trust in him and to try your best
May Allah guide you sister and help you to tast the sweetness of life and Iman amen !

 

[mdsajidha]

Walaikum Assalam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

Sister,I am going through that same problem too.......but I found something.....depression prevails in one's mind if he/she has low self-confidence or low self-esteem....these are the things which helps depression to prevail in ones's mind.....fight those and ask Allah for help.....again you can shut the availability of porn......it will help u a huge bunch..... please pray for me so that I can get out of this disease.....U will be better insha'allah.

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

 

[Serinity]

Whenever you feel the urge, do something else. Whenever you get the urge, redirect your thoughts to something else. Try your best, it is possible.

Whenever you are alone, fill that time with something beneficial.

you'll forget it soon, In shaa' Allah. Connect yourself to Allah, spiritually. In shaa' Allah.

And Allah :swt: knows best.

 

[Love_Sahabah]

Sister i can relate to the same problem.
I think our (for those who suffer from this addiction) solutions are duas and marriage.

 

[aaj]

As'salaamu alaikum,

Depression is something that has no bottom, the more you dwell in it the deeper it will take you. You have to realize that regardless of how the situation is, there is always sunshine after the storm. Everything is by the decree of Allah. But Allah also says to not despair

• {And who despairs of the Mercy of his Lord except for those astray?** [Quran 15: 56]
• {Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.** [Quran 12:]

There's several things you can do to help with your depression and despair and porn habit
- Read the Quran as there is healing in it
- make Dua to Allah to free you from all of them and replace them with something better

Read this islamic book " Don't Be Sad"
http://www.taleemulislam-radio.com/userfiles/file/books/en_Do_not_be_Sad.pdf

Check out these articles on how to deal with depression:
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/dealing-with-depression.htm
http://www.counseling.ufl.edu/cwc/how-to-deal-with-depresion.aspx

As for the porn.
Try to set small goals on how long you can go without it. As you achieve that goal, set a higher goal and so forth till you abandon it inshallah.
Try to be not alone as much, spend time with family
Do dhikr or redirect your thoughts when you think of watching it.
Have a quick link to surah baqarah and play that each time you go to watch. Quran may help relax you and that surah will drive the shaytan out of the house
don't have any pc in your room
talk to yourself and motivate yourself that you can do this , do it often.

 

[keiv]

First, you have to figure out how to overcome your depression. Whether it's work, family, friends. Whatever it is, try to change that. Try to motivate yourself or watch motivational videos to get you emotionally stable again. It could be religious videos, lectures, or even not related to religion all together.. Just find something to take you away from this low point in your life. I know the feeling of being depressed and it's not fun at all. Not only does it screw with your health but, your attitude and outlook on life as well. Depending on your situation, it might be easier said than done but at least try.

As far as the porn, well, that's something you will have to stop on your own. Not sure how long you've been looking at it but, it really is something you have to put effort in in order to stop it. With the easy access to the internet, it becomes easy for people to sit on their chair and get lost through the click of a few buttons. Definitely limit your time on any device with internet capabilities. Try to imagine yourself as a spectator when you engage in such things and think of how you would view yourself if you saw yourself doing what you're doing, if that makes sense.

The viewing of the porn seems to have stemmed through your depression, so it seems like that is the root cause for all your problems. I would definitely start there and if you can figure that out, the rest will fix itself inshAllah.

 

[ukmuslimah]

Asalaamu Alaykum sister!

You're not alone.

Regarding your issues with pornography, please check out the following resources where you can find support and more infomation on pornography addiction.

yourbrainonporn dot com
Nofap dot com/forums
fightthenewdrug dot org
MuslimNoFap reddit page ( Support page for Muslims struggling with pornography and masturbation.)

 

[anatolian]

Shall I tell you how to overcome with porn? Stop telling people that Masturbation is haram. Because it is not.

 

[arkham]

It is haram, brother.