I hate trying anymore

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Fti

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I've been trying to get rid of my OCD for so many years but there is no use of that. I have very much difficulty starting things as i keep getting uncomfortable feelings and keep on repeating things until I'm too tired to continue anymore. Everyday is just suffering for me. I've all sorts of resources available but Allah made my brain so messed up that I can't even utilize those resources. He gave me everything but took the most important thing from me that is a working functional proper brain. Everyday i waste my life trying to start things but now I feel I can't do it anymore since there has been no difference in trying or not trying. I feel Allah has written feelings of regret for me that's why he is not.allowing me to succeed in my trying. Why did he do this to me? How can I do anything in my life if i am stuck on the starting part only? No one understands what I am going through. The psychologist I went to gave me medicines to get rid of these feelings but how do i tell her that i am still stuck on starting part and haven't properly ate medicines because of this messsed up thoughts in my brain. I am hopeless now and I've decided not to drink or eat anymore from.now on so that this miserable stupid life which is literally of no use since I'm not doing Anything because of my ocd, this life Ends here.
 
Assalamu alaikum,

Please don't end your life. You know that suicide brings you much worse torture and with means of the suicide.

You need help. And that's why you came here.

There are many kinds of OCD. What exactly is the issue with yours?

I really hope you're among the living still
 
Assalamu alaikum,

OCD comes from wanting control and/or alleviating your anxiety. You need to find the root of your issues and resolve that rather than just trying to fix the symptoms. You have to rewire your brain.
When or why did your OCD start? Why and how do your specific compulsions make you feel safer or in control? People may not understand what you're going through, but it's not important for them to understand since its only you who really knows what's going on inside of yourself. Start with these thoughts and try to understand yourself by digging deep. You can heal yourself if you are willing to seek the truth to the root of your pain. It's very possible to heal from this. Be kinder to yourself and do it with positivity in your heart.
 
This is only 1 part of my Extra paranormal life.

I need help,I cry to Allah for my fate,I try to do ibadah and dawah ofc online,try to keep good character & my manners so on..but this torture & nuisance never Ends.

After end of every salaat,there comes religious OCD & dua etc.

Why He chose me to be victimised with horrifying punishments & waste my imaan.

Just for this OCD, I rocked my family man,just innumerable times-


No it's just nonsense that I'm living everyday with false hopes while reality is I'm a person of he'll!

Tried jihad hijra sadaqah,away from haram,bits of sins here n there but got no forgiveness ever.

I have been suffering from the past 19 years,lost my youth,20's& now in early 30's.

I'm lost...my dad was an awesome daddy,he passed away last year...I have been devastated with his death - my parents
 
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You know sister, some years ago I also thought I was under torture by Allah and also for many years. I had no minute of tranquility. I rebelled against Allah one Ramadan evening. I begged Him to take my life and to put me in Jahannam right now for there was no sense anymore... Well, I didn't have enough knowledge... I was practicing Muslimah, I was memorizing Quran, fasting a lot, etc etc etc but suffering like no one. I was hungry, very sick (80% disabled) with other health issues, poor, in debts, prosecuted, all alone with no one around me to help with anything, even to cook for me while disabled or bring me water or help me go to bathroom, with fire in my house, floods, things breaking, me anxious with panic attacks, heavy depression, one trouble ends, another starts and all of this for so many years.

But the moment I changed myself after getting to know things everything changed. EVERYTHING! It's mostly about our opinion of Allah and what do we believe about Him, are we certain he's going to accept dua, accepting His promises and believing in them (otherwise, it's kufr)... Understanding His names.
 
Oh my...
I'm happy to know you're in better condition ♥


My issue is I did things with knowledge and love for ALLAH,but HE always rejected me ,my good opinion about Him is shattered- yeah lots of miracles but in reality worse kind things

How would you describe a dream of azaabul qabr,hun?Seeing scary angels kinda thing that's so real,loss of dunya & finally religion- I'm afraid to say but God has actually punished,since 2,4,8& 19 years- big tortures & OCD that ugly my life even more.

Too difficult to wake up,to type,to eat,to be in washroom,to beautify myself,to work online,to talk,to cook,to drink water & 24/7 oppression- scared every night to sleep.

I am from middle class,not much financial issues but nothing seems like a blessing if am gonna be in Hellfire
 
SoldierAmatUllah said:
Oh my...
I'm happy to know you're in better condition ♥


My issue is I did things with knowledge and love for ALLAH,but HE always rejected me ,my good opinion about Him is shattered- yeah lots of miracles but in reality worse kind things

How would you describe a dream of azaabul qabr,hun?Seeing scary angels kinda thing that's so real,loss of dunya & finally religion- I'm afraid to say but God has actually punished,since 2,4,8& 19 years- big tortures & OCD that ugly my life even more.

Too difficult to wake up,to type,to eat,to be in washroom,to beautify myself,to work online,to talk,to cook,to drink water & 24/7 oppression- scared every night to sleep.

I am from middle class,not much financial issues but nothing seems like a blessing if am gonna be in Hellfire
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May someone help me with resources for I heard this story very long time ago and never bothered about it after that. It was about an alim who saw a dream with his house in Jannah. He woke up, of course was happy but got up and did more ibadaah and good deeds. Someone asked him "why are you doing more while you're shown your place in Jannah" and he responded: That might change will the end of my life. Then he saw opposite dream. I think also adhabul kabr and his reaction was the same.

I personally saw our Prophet saws many times in my dreams and some more prophets. Musa a.s. and Sulayman a.s. were rescuing me from something very dark (probably jinn world), I saw Isa a.s... but maybe 2 years later I dropped into gaflah, lost my imaan and no one would ever tell that I will see our Prophet saws in Judgment day - meaning I might end up in Jahannam with not a second of Jannah ever, for my life was very western for few years. I haven't seen any such dream again although I came back to Islam.

As for rejections, I begged Allah not to give me another hardship for at least 2 months as I have become very weak. But He did and alhamdulillah I had strength to overcome it. But, Allah warned me what is going to happen and made me prepared. I've been thinking, maybe I got this hardship for few days instead of years of hardships, just because I made my dua and this hardship prevented that suffering. We don't know what is happening really.

I also aksed Him to teach me tawakkul and then I went through a lot until my tawakkul became super high.

An example: Once I rescued an animal from torture. But this animal suffered transport and she never understood why she had to vomit in the car and why am I doing this to her. But if I didn't, she would be tortured for years, and this lasted for few hours only. This is what happens to us while suffering from hardships and don't understand why.

Sister, the more you're dear to Allah, the more you're going through. It's ok to share with fellow Muslims things you're going through for that's what's Ummah for. The dream you had could be from shaytan, not from Allah. Other things also. Shaytan threatens us with misery and wants us to be frightened from everything and to fear Allah in wrong way. Yes, I know, on Judgment day we'll all be frightened before the Judgment starts. I know that, but Allah is not like that. Allah is so loving, caring, Merciful. Fearing Allah is great but more in sense of feeling shame from disobedience for He's giving us so much. I started 100 hamd challenge daily and It takes me so long to count only 100 blessings from Allah. I make it, but at the beginning it took me so long. And He actually gives us endless amount of blessings, we're just not aware of it.

I'm def. going to make strong dua for you. I hope Allah will give you insight over what is really going on in your life. I want you to become so happy like I was few years ago when my torture ended for good. And I hope other brothers and sisters are going to do the same. That's very important for Ummah.

With love sister and assalamu alaikum wa rahmetullah
 
Fti said:
I've been trying to get rid of my OCD for so many years but there is no use of that. I have very much difficulty starting things as i keep getting uncomfortable feelings and keep on repeating things until I'm too tired to continue anymore. Everyday is just suffering for me. I've all sorts of resources available but Allah made my brain so messed up that I can't even utilize those resources. He gave me everything but took the most important thing from me that is a working functional proper brain. Everyday i waste my life trying to start things but now I feel I can't do it anymore since there has been no difference in trying or not trying. I feel Allah has written feelings of regret for me that's why he is not.allowing me to succeed in my trying. Why did he do this to me? How can I do anything in my life if i am stuck on the starting part only? No one understands what I am going through. The psychologist I went to gave me medicines to get rid of these feelings but how do i tell her that i am still stuck on starting part and haven't properly ate medicines because of this messsed up thoughts in my brain. I am hopeless now and I've decided not to drink or eat anymore from.now on so that this miserable stupid life which is literally of no use since I'm not doing Anything because of my ocd, this life Ends here.
Click to expand...

Assalamu Alaikum.

Please read through the following thread for various help and resources to help us tackle Waswasa/OCD:

https://www.islamicboard.com/advice...ercome-waswas-shaythans-whispers-worship.html

If you need anything else then please do not hesitate to ask.
 
I've been trying to get rid of my OCD for so many years but there is no use of that.
Click to expand...

A'kum I didn't even know what OCD is until I did a Google search and found it to be Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm no Mr. No-It-All but when I was repairing my office computer, my technician explained and I've used this always on problem solving:

Solutions to a problem cover preventive measures and remedial measures where not necessarily are they similar in approach. One often tends only to concentrate on remedial measures so the problem keeps cropping up again. It was not until the top management understood this did they agree to take both appropriate preventive measures and remedial measures did the problem stop.

On things that concern our self-being and future, it is best to refer to Allah for help but how one relates to Allah I think makes a difference. For me, I find it very difficult to relate to Allah as my creator (which is obvious) because I would usually end up tongue-tied and do not know how to start a one sided conversation/dua. Ever since I relate Allah as a friend like Pinocchio sees Geppetto it was much easier to talk and pour out my problems to Him. Maybe you, like me before, need a change in mindset and I'm definitely sure Allah will come to your aid. (I mean I say sorry for making Allah my alarm clock because I want to pray for tahajud and He does just that)
 
Opps! Typo error ... It's-Mr.-Know-It-All (I have no idea how one amends a message just uploaded)
 

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