scotchlite5
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Salam brothers and sisters.
I just turned 21 years old, and i know that i am in love with a girl. here is the story.
I am 100% macedonian, (yes, probably the first time youll hear that lol), and I am a Muslim Alhamdulillah. I had a rough childhood because of my strict parents (who are not muslim btw) but I somehow fought through it, and I was accepted into a university that i liked. somehow i convinced my parents to let me dorm, and that sept. i had finally escaped the strict crazy frustrating umbrella of my parents. (dont get me wrong, I LOVE my parents no matter what, and i respect them to the fullest extent).
so one of my roomates was muslim, and he was nice enough to teach me Islam, cuz i had noone to do so before. easy by easy i started meeting other muslim freinds and I felt very at home and very happy that I was introduced into such a glorious religion alhamdulillah.
one day my roomate walks in and tells me he met a macedonian girl. (there are only less than 2 million of us in the world, so finding a girl u werent related to was extremely difficult). he told me her name and i went on facebook and saw that she already added me as a freind, and honestly i didnt really think too much of it.
about one month later i walk into the library eleavator with some freinds, and i saw her walk in.i was not sure if it was her, so i tapped her and she looked at me and smiled. it was then and there when i realized how beautiful she was mashAllah. i knew i wasnt ugly or anything, but i knew that i no chance with her.
so as time passed i read more about islam and started praying and fasting and it was the best time of my life. Out of nowhere the girl just started talking to me, so i felt as if i shud talk back. we found out we had soooo much in common and so i slowly brought her into my group of muslim freinds (she was also muslim). i thought the best way to hang out with her was to do it in groups so that we would not make it haram. and as time passed we became unseprable.
i realized over time that this was the perfect girl, and i was ready to tell her about the feelings i had for her. but i wanted to make sure she understood well, and i realized her birthday was coming, so i threw her a beautiful suprise party with all of our freinds, and seeing her face that day made it the happiest day of my life forever!
i had to wait about a month after to tell her because if some little issues, so in the mean time i asked my freinds who were older girls, if it was right to ask her. they told me that she definitly liked me, just by the way they saw her when she was around me. after this i felt ready.
the day came to tell her, and i was sooooooooo nervous, i felt like the earth was pushing down on my stomach. apparently she told me that she didnt really know i liked her and she could not commit to anything. i wish there were words to describe the pain i felt, but truly i cant express the pain thrugh words. heartbroken was an understatement.
and so after that, our freindship went south and i could tell it was too awkward for us to hang out like we used to. so i realized this and i somehow found the strength to move on with my life.
the semester ended about 2 weeks later and i had summer rotations. at the end of rotations i found out i was expelled from the university for forging one signature on my palm pilote. thats when i got even more religious and just asked Allah to watch over me. and MashAllah he did. i somehow found a job that i like and pays good money. months passed and my parents told me it was time for me to start focusing on marriage. i tried looking around for a good woman, but till this day they all went sour. most of them were not even muslim. ( i know what your thinking! dont think that i did not give other girls a chance because of the first one!!, i slowly started forgetting about her, and we barely kept in touch. she had nothing to do with any of the girls that i talked to after.)
its been about 8 months, and a month ago i found out that the girl i first met went back to macedonia to visit family. OUT OF NOWHERE, i started feeling depression. i couldnt sleep, i couldnt eat. its such a weird feeling. i feel sadness in my heart everyday that passes knowing she hasnt come home yet. i feel so depressed that now I realize that i am completely 100% in love with her. I miss her sooooo much, more than i missed my own mother when she went to macedonia for a month 2 years ago.
the really crazy part is, I think she cud be missing me too. ( i understand that i sound really crazy right now, but please bear with me lol). i feel as if the feeling i have is soooooo strong that it could be effecting her as well. i know in my heart that no matter what when she comes back i have to tell her what im feeling, or else it just wont go away. ( yes ive tried meeting other girls, but it just doesnt work out for the oddest of reasons)
I know I am new to this religion. I know i am young and immature. I know theres a very good chance she could say no, lol. I know that theres other girls out there. I know that destiny isint such a big factor when it comes to love. but i also know that i love her more than anything on this earth.
so theres my story lol. sometimes i think that the hardship of her saying no, would be too much for me to endure, i know its crazy cuz only Allah can decide that. so now all i can do is keep my faith in Allah, and pray to him.
jazakAllah for readingg =)
I just turned 21 years old, and i know that i am in love with a girl. here is the story.
I am 100% macedonian, (yes, probably the first time youll hear that lol), and I am a Muslim Alhamdulillah. I had a rough childhood because of my strict parents (who are not muslim btw) but I somehow fought through it, and I was accepted into a university that i liked. somehow i convinced my parents to let me dorm, and that sept. i had finally escaped the strict crazy frustrating umbrella of my parents. (dont get me wrong, I LOVE my parents no matter what, and i respect them to the fullest extent).
so one of my roomates was muslim, and he was nice enough to teach me Islam, cuz i had noone to do so before. easy by easy i started meeting other muslim freinds and I felt very at home and very happy that I was introduced into such a glorious religion alhamdulillah.
one day my roomate walks in and tells me he met a macedonian girl. (there are only less than 2 million of us in the world, so finding a girl u werent related to was extremely difficult). he told me her name and i went on facebook and saw that she already added me as a freind, and honestly i didnt really think too much of it.
about one month later i walk into the library eleavator with some freinds, and i saw her walk in.i was not sure if it was her, so i tapped her and she looked at me and smiled. it was then and there when i realized how beautiful she was mashAllah. i knew i wasnt ugly or anything, but i knew that i no chance with her.
so as time passed i read more about islam and started praying and fasting and it was the best time of my life. Out of nowhere the girl just started talking to me, so i felt as if i shud talk back. we found out we had soooo much in common and so i slowly brought her into my group of muslim freinds (she was also muslim). i thought the best way to hang out with her was to do it in groups so that we would not make it haram. and as time passed we became unseprable.
i realized over time that this was the perfect girl, and i was ready to tell her about the feelings i had for her. but i wanted to make sure she understood well, and i realized her birthday was coming, so i threw her a beautiful suprise party with all of our freinds, and seeing her face that day made it the happiest day of my life forever!
i had to wait about a month after to tell her because if some little issues, so in the mean time i asked my freinds who were older girls, if it was right to ask her. they told me that she definitly liked me, just by the way they saw her when she was around me. after this i felt ready.
the day came to tell her, and i was sooooooooo nervous, i felt like the earth was pushing down on my stomach. apparently she told me that she didnt really know i liked her and she could not commit to anything. i wish there were words to describe the pain i felt, but truly i cant express the pain thrugh words. heartbroken was an understatement.
and so after that, our freindship went south and i could tell it was too awkward for us to hang out like we used to. so i realized this and i somehow found the strength to move on with my life.
the semester ended about 2 weeks later and i had summer rotations. at the end of rotations i found out i was expelled from the university for forging one signature on my palm pilote. thats when i got even more religious and just asked Allah to watch over me. and MashAllah he did. i somehow found a job that i like and pays good money. months passed and my parents told me it was time for me to start focusing on marriage. i tried looking around for a good woman, but till this day they all went sour. most of them were not even muslim. ( i know what your thinking! dont think that i did not give other girls a chance because of the first one!!, i slowly started forgetting about her, and we barely kept in touch. she had nothing to do with any of the girls that i talked to after.)
its been about 8 months, and a month ago i found out that the girl i first met went back to macedonia to visit family. OUT OF NOWHERE, i started feeling depression. i couldnt sleep, i couldnt eat. its such a weird feeling. i feel sadness in my heart everyday that passes knowing she hasnt come home yet. i feel so depressed that now I realize that i am completely 100% in love with her. I miss her sooooo much, more than i missed my own mother when she went to macedonia for a month 2 years ago.
the really crazy part is, I think she cud be missing me too. ( i understand that i sound really crazy right now, but please bear with me lol). i feel as if the feeling i have is soooooo strong that it could be effecting her as well. i know in my heart that no matter what when she comes back i have to tell her what im feeling, or else it just wont go away. ( yes ive tried meeting other girls, but it just doesnt work out for the oddest of reasons)
I know I am new to this religion. I know i am young and immature. I know theres a very good chance she could say no, lol. I know that theres other girls out there. I know that destiny isint such a big factor when it comes to love. but i also know that i love her more than anything on this earth.
so theres my story lol. sometimes i think that the hardship of her saying no, would be too much for me to endure, i know its crazy cuz only Allah can decide that. so now all i can do is keep my faith in Allah, and pray to him.
jazakAllah for readingg =)