What better friend to have ? Make yourself known at the masjid-problem solved. when your confident enough, then get involved in community based activities.
When your confidence improves, then these sort of things will become non existent.
Good luck.
:wa:
i go to a masjid many times and been there this weekend for the conference. been attending that masjid since i began practicing islam in 2001 and today the biggest conversation i'll have is giving salaam, and how are you? that's it. met my cousins there yesterday. but silence. i cant have a conversation with people.
So, when you are in crowded places, you feel as though some people may be watching and judging you, even though it is not the case in reality? Does this happen all the time when your in a crowd?
i never really think it, but it just happens. hard to explain but i'll try. for example i was at conference in masjid today, and i was tired sitting and needed to sit in the salah position but i didnt and couldnt. i was so tired and in pain but i didnt move. and the reason for this is that all the brothers behind me will notice me and i'll become center of attention. sounds dumb, but it's a prob.
You can buy a small gym set at home.
i've began doing workouts at home. but this wont help my problem
There will be a point when you have to make a call in front of others.
i know. and i do make calls in front of others. but i really really hate it. i would rather leave the job and sacrifice everything to escape this situation. and i'm not excagerating.
there is a social anxiety disorder ... problems w/ percieving how others see you.. that people are talking about you behind your back or laughing at what you are doing..etc.. however .. all that said... if you feel you have a disorder ...l while there is nothing wrong w/ asking for people's feedback... it is a licensed professional you should be asking...
Salaam
Serena
Assalaamu alaykum,
I hope you are well brother, insha Allah.
I'll admit, I had to google what Social Anxiety Disorder was just now so please forgive me if I have judged it wrongly by what I have quickly skim read through.
How bad would you say are the symptoms? Do you have a lot of trouble being with other people and interacting with them? From what I understand, the severe cases of this disorder can mean that the feelings of social anxiety and fears can make it extremely difficult for one to be around people and can make everyday tasks extremely difficult. Would you say this was the case for you?
Also, if you don't mind me asking such a personal question; how long have you been married to your wife? Surely by you reading some articles and coming across theses symptoms and realizing that you might have this disorder might not change how your wife views you? Forgive me if I am stepping over the line, but perhaps you could try to talk to her or someone from your family you feel confident in talking about this with so that you may not feel like you are having to deal with this on your own too much. You might find them to be quite supportive. Obviously, this would be a judgmental call though based on what you feel comfortable with.
How would you feel about going to a therapist? Do you think this might be something you might be able to deal with because it seems to be one way to treat such disorders. Also, if you feel like your acne breakout might have been one cause for the disorder to develop further, perhaps seeing a doctor who might be able to prescribe to you an acne treatment might be of help? I went through really bad acne when I was going through puberty but insha Allah, for me it has cleared. It takes longer for some people and could be any number of factors that lead to it's cure. For me, I think it was being in a different climate which meant less oily skin. Perhaps, you could talk to a doctor (or if you feel more comfortable, you could perhaps even check online or ring someone) to get some advice on this.
I am sorry if I haven't been of any help. I do think perhaps considering a therapist if you feel like you can face that might be of help.
May Allah (swt) forgive me if I've said or given any wrong advice and may He help you through your struggle. Ameen.
i personally think my symptoms are severe. i really can not converse with people. i met an old friend in the masjid today, and i barely had a decent conversation with him. saw many other brothers i know, in the masjid, but i always made it seem like i never saw them.
i've been married for 5 years now. i can and will (as soon as she comes back) speak to her about this. might get her worried but i have no choice. she will understand. may Allah bless her, she has been very patient with me especially due to my scarred skin due to acne. my family wont understand and will think i've gone mad. my wife had problems around 3 years ago (depression/magic whatever, i still dont know) and alhamdulillah she was cured the hard way, (joined this forum due to that, and marriage was saved due to excellent advice from brothers and sisters here, (as i dont have no one to speak to face to face)). anyway, my family might link this issue back to that. my dad will give his best words of advice: "don't worry".
alhamdulillah acne has been (most part) cured after 7 years of medications. just have scarred face but i'm happy with that now, anything is better than the monster i was years back. but i think the acne was the cause of me not socialising with others at school and college, and now i cant socialise at all.
From these quotes it's clear to see it's having an impact on your life. This is not simply being nervous in front of others (as many people are), this is a step further because it's stopping you from doing things you want to do. I don't think it's a good thing that people are advising you to not think of it as anything bad or simply work out at home. This is only feeding your issue and will be worse for you in the long term.
If you think you can handle it alone then try setting targets for yourself. Aim for things you want to do/will push yourself to do during the week. Then make sure you do them. In time they will become easier. Make a note of the ways in which you react and try to think of more helpful ways to react. Read some books on cbt and see if this passes in time with self help. If it doesn't then I definitely think you should seek professional help. These types of things happen to plenty of people and there's no shame or weakness in it. Don't keep sweeping it under the carpet. You're a young guy with many years ahead (insha'Allah) so why not make the most of them?
i'm too weak to handle it alone. and i will struggle trying to explain to doctor. but i'll wait til i speak to my wife first then i'll visit the doc
