I need help. Please with a mental addiction

[anonymous]

Um this sounds sad but...

well I dont watch porn and never have..
I am a very well practicing muslim and I try to remain steadfast and abstain from sin


but um, I have a problem where I fantasize about good/built looking men and um very dirty stuff with them in many ways.

i used to be addicted to the point where I would do it for hours a day till I became depressed and not satisfied from it anymore because I would exhaust every option while imagining. But I stopped that addiction where I would do for hours. It became less and less and I kept stopping for the sake of Allah. So I would still get it, but not as often. But sometimes I relapse.

this is different from porn. Its in your thoughts, it comes to me subconsciously sometimes I don’t even realize I’m having these thoughts. Like I have done a good job at holding back but I just cant handle it. I get such intense urges especially at night when i should be sleeping in remembrance of Allah.

Like there are just random things sometimes that trigger these thoughts and I have them without realizing. Sometimes it gets intense where I need to rush my prayer, this also has a very negative impact on my iman.


I never masturbate although I have been tempted

and I always keep telling myself that thoughts like these aren’t haram and trap myself so I keep going further.

true thoughts that randomly come to ur head without u realizinng are not haram for as long as you push them away. However, I keep dwelling over and over again I just cant control myself.
I EVEN FAST.

And no I cannot get married.

im also scared that Id find my future husband unattractive because of these high expectations im setting of these men I imagine.

pls help, ik it sounds sad but ive tried so many different methods to stop it at this point and I literally just cant. I used to feel guilty after but now its just too hard to stop. I get so overwhelmed in the moment then the next day when I am not feeling hormonal I just think “why even-“

i try to tell myself that in jannah I will get a super handsome and charming husband as long as I control my desires.

but it doesnt work.

BELIEVE ME, I HAVE TRIED SO MANY DIFFERENT CREATIVE METHODS TO STOP IT.

I always fall into a trap. Either i start feelinng an urge so I start and try to stop OR

ill be doing something but then I start visualizing without realizing but then after I realize I try pushing my thoughts away but then I feel intense desire then I give in and I think I get orgasms idek wut it feels like but I get so exhausted after.

Or sometimes I dont go to far into these imaginations so I do get aroused but I come to my senses.

thank you for taking the time to read.

hope someone has good advice.

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

Start lowering your gaze, not just with men in real life but also anything that illicit these types of images in your head (pictures, videos, books, etc.). Away from the eyes, away from the mind.
For the most part thinking about the opposite gender is normal, but you don't want it to turn into a worse habit down the line especially when you're already starting to think about haram acts.

As for when you get married, don't worry about it.

 

[Al-Ansariyah]

Agreed!! These thoughts often arise from reading stupid novels or seeing inappropriate pictures. If you keep thinking about perfect man, obviously you won't find your husband attractive, he will be in the best of forms in jannah only. Whenever all this gets in your mind, engage in dhikr of Allah, even if you don't feel it by heart at first, keep doing just to distract yourself.Keep yourself busy Everytime and all will go well. And try to be more close to Deen, you will soon get out of this.
Salam

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Um this sounds sad but...

well I dont watch porn and never have..
I am a very well practicing muslim and I try to remain steadfast and abstain from sin


but um, I have a problem where I fantasize about good/built looking men and um very dirty stuff with them in many ways.

i used to be addicted to the point where I would do it for hours a day till I became depressed and not satisfied from it anymore because I would exhaust every option while imagining. But I stopped that addiction where I would do for hours. It became less and less and I kept stopping for the sake of Allah. So I would still get it, but not as often. But sometimes I relapse.

this is different from porn. Its in your thoughts, it comes to me subconsciously sometimes I don’t even realize I’m having these thoughts. Like I have done a good job at holding back but I just cant handle it. I get such intense urges especially at night when i should be sleeping in remembrance of Allah.

Like there are just random things sometimes that trigger these thoughts and I have them without realizing. Sometimes it gets intense where I need to rush my prayer, this also has a very negative impact on my iman.


I never masturbate although I have been tempted

and I always keep telling myself that thoughts like these aren’t haram and trap myself so I keep going further.

true thoughts that randomly come to ur head without u realizinng are not haram for as long as you push them away. However, I keep dwelling over and over again I just cant control myself.
I EVEN FAST.

And no I cannot get married.

im also scared that Id find my future husband unattractive because of these high expectations im setting of these men I imagine.

pls help, ik it sounds sad but ive tried so many different methods to stop it at this point and I literally just cant. I used to feel guilty after but now its just too hard to stop. I get so overwhelmed in the moment then the next day when I am not feeling hormonal I just think “why even-“

i try to tell myself that in jannah I will get a super handsome and charming husband as long as I control my desires.

but it doesnt work.

BELIEVE ME, I HAVE TRIED SO MANY DIFFERENT CREATIVE METHODS TO STOP IT.

I always fall into a trap. Either i start feelinng an urge so I start and try to stop OR

ill be doing something but then I start visualizing without realizing but then after I realize I try pushing my thoughts away but then I feel intense desire then I give in and I think I get orgasms idek wut it feels like but I get so exhausted after.

Or sometimes I dont go to far into these imaginations so I do get aroused but I come to my senses.

thank you for taking the time to read.

hope someone has good advice.

Assalaamu Alaikum,

As the sisters mentioned above you must keep your gaze low when you are out and stop looking at any images,videos etc on TV, Smartphone, internet, social media etc. This also includes novels.

On top of that fast often at least twice a week on Mondays and Thursdays and the 3 white days each month (13th,14th and 15th) of each Islamic month. Also reduce red meat consumption and meat in general and reduce your portion size of what you eat.

Also cut out caffeine if you consume it. Busy yourself with good things as much as you can and keep technology away. Also ask of Allah during these blessed days and nights to help you overcome these issues particularly before Maghrib and Fajr begiy.

Hope that helps.