This is my first time on these boards, and I am honored to be here. Thank you for having such a great place.
I write to you asking for guidance in a specific matter that actually poses a more global question in my life that I struggle with often.
I was born in the USA and hence have the citizenship. My younger brother though was not born here due to the fact that my dad decided to go back to our home country (Egypt). My dad has ever since then lived in a form of guilt over not giving my brother what he gave me. That's background info though.
My wife is currently pregnant. So is my brother's wife. Both are due in May with a two week difference between them. With due dates being + or - 2 weeks, they could actually give birth at the same time. My brother had this idea of sending his wife and my mom to stay with us here a month before she's due. This way she can have the baby here in USA and the baby would get the U.S. citizenship. With the baby having it, all sons/daughters from that point on would have it too. Almost like giving it to an entire upcoming generation. Having the U.S passport is generally a good thing in that it opens up the world to a person. He knows that because he suffers from not having one now. Even when you live in Egypt, you get better treatment just for having it. And it's good to know that if things go bad (in whatever way) in Egypt, there's a way out.
The problem I am facing now is what to do about this. This would mean that his wife and my mom would be at my house. My pregnant wife is not happy about this since it puts a lot of pressure on her so close to her due date. And when the babies are born, it puts even further pressure on her to be around another new born. Her mom/dad would be here as well to attend her delivery. So the house would be packed. Assuming all other logistics for delivering my brother's baby work (which is not even guaranteed), we would be facing a house full of people with my wife extremely tired with a new baby - as well as my current 2 year old son.
I can see that this is tough on my wife. My mother of course stressed that she would take care of everything around the house and not make my wife lift a finger. My question is though... is this something reasonable to ask from my wife? What is Islam's take on my responsibility towards my parents/brothers/etc vs to my own family? I would be asking my wife to be under some considerable stress because of this. But at the same time, I would be giving my brother something very big. Something that will last for generations.
My wife is extremely stressed out over this right now. I understand what she's saying but at the same time don't know what to do. Would I turn around and say no to my own brother? Would I be the reason he couldn't secure something like this for his child? Am I putting my brother's well being ahead of my own wife's and family?
This brings me to the global question I mentioned earlier. I tend to run into situations like this often enough. Where I feel that to make one side happy, the other has to be upset or forced to accept something they don't want. What is Islam's stand on the responsibilities of a man to his wife/family and to his parents/siblings?
I really do appreciate any guidance I can get in this matter. I don't know what to do. More importantly, I don't want to pick a choice that would upset God...
Thank you for your time.
