I am sorry it had to be like this … using social media to reveal the inner secrets of one's heart … but there is another reason apart from my apparent lack of courage or conviction … I simply do not want to cause any of you the pain of thinking of replying … with social media everyone can quietly ignore my post.
It is not that I think any the less of you … quite the opposite … but I am terrified you might think as much … I don't … the pain I carry is enough for both of us. Of course there are those who do not indulge in social media and will possibly never know so if they happen to mention my name in conversation you are free, if the desire is present, to pass on the relevant information.
It has been a while now … but things had to pass even before I reached this point. You see it was a death … mine … I had to die to everything … including friendships … a way of life with which I was comfortable … both big and small. It was a while before I realized it was a dying … I sort of felt lost … almost alien like … what was useful … commonplace … became a burden and I did not quite know why.
But … even … as I turned away from all that I held dear I saw that I was walking towards that which my heart always longed … sorry … I know … it sounds pathetic … but there it is. All I know is that my soul … whatever that may be … had found something deeper and more satisfying … quite simply … I had found Islam.
For some … many perhaps … this will come as a shock. Again, apologies. For others … they might quietly nod in acknowledgement that the strain under which we live could never had held my own search for that which lies beyond …
Nor do I seek that any should follow … that is not my intention.
So I am sad … deeply … that we must part. But I cannot be as others want … and I found that which is somehow … and which I cannot adequately explain … deeply satisfying.
Please do not think of me for the worst … and especially do not think of yourself the worst … it was not your fault … you had nothing to do with my decision other than my knowing the pain the separation would bring.
May you always abide in peace and harmony with each other.
It is not that I think any the less of you … quite the opposite … but I am terrified you might think as much … I don't … the pain I carry is enough for both of us. Of course there are those who do not indulge in social media and will possibly never know so if they happen to mention my name in conversation you are free, if the desire is present, to pass on the relevant information.
It has been a while now … but things had to pass even before I reached this point. You see it was a death … mine … I had to die to everything … including friendships … a way of life with which I was comfortable … both big and small. It was a while before I realized it was a dying … I sort of felt lost … almost alien like … what was useful … commonplace … became a burden and I did not quite know why.
But … even … as I turned away from all that I held dear I saw that I was walking towards that which my heart always longed … sorry … I know … it sounds pathetic … but there it is. All I know is that my soul … whatever that may be … had found something deeper and more satisfying … quite simply … I had found Islam.
For some … many perhaps … this will come as a shock. Again, apologies. For others … they might quietly nod in acknowledgement that the strain under which we live could never had held my own search for that which lies beyond …
Nor do I seek that any should follow … that is not my intention.
So I am sad … deeply … that we must part. But I cannot be as others want … and I found that which is somehow … and which I cannot adequately explain … deeply satisfying.
Please do not think of me for the worst … and especially do not think of yourself the worst … it was not your fault … you had nothing to do with my decision other than my knowing the pain the separation would bring.
May you always abide in peace and harmony with each other.
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