I require help!

[Speirs]

Asalam u alikum!

I am 17 years old and becoming 18 on the 24th of this month and have lived a great life so far. I am from Germany, parents from Kurdistan Iraq, left due to Saddam and the war. Now as I’m growing and becoming older I ask myself questions I never thought I’d ask myself.

To give you an idea of who I am: I am a student who became the Nr1 student out of 600 in 10th, after 10th grade you need to switch schools for an advanced one to go to university which is what I’ve done, alhamdurila.

First and foremost my question and then the explanation for why I came to ask this:

Allah knows best for all of us, and knows that all generations are evolving (more towards the negative side) but the requirements for Muslims to submit to allah at all times are clearly stated, yet not 100% doable for Muslims in the west, without risking to e.g loose friends, be left alone, etc etc. My main point is: I have started to here and there drink a bit, I don’t pray 5 times a day but I thank allah everyday and that has become routine. To be explicit because I think it has to be said, sometimes masturbation has also become a small problem to relief stress and not only stress but the loneliness I feel of everyone having e.g a girlfriend but not me.

I ask my mom and she says you should use the chance to sleep with a girl if the chance comes, I flipped out. Only my father and mom and at home, she said that and I raged and cried and shouted saying that it’s haram and that allah has mentioned all of these requirements yet you tell me to fornicate with a girl as if it isn’t a problem ? Her response:

my son, the requirements of what is said can somewhat not be enforced in the nowadays society because if you did want to enforce it then you couldn’t live in Germany or the entire West, as it isn’t compatible. I have not fornicated and most likely won’t. I feel the need to mention details here because I don’t have any answers, from anyone. I know the Quran gives all of the answers, but at some point my moms quote is also true, isn’t it ? Nowadays the society (most of which) are so ----ed up, that alcohol, fornication has somewhat become routine. What should I do? I am so confused that it’s a big question mark but I know that my imaan is existent but also hurt.

i seek to get the best answers for my issue, which is why I’d like to thank you!

 

[*charisma*]

Walaikum Asalaam

There are many Muslims living in the west who don't fornicate, drink, smoke, and who pray all their daily prayers, fast ramadan, etc. This isn't impossible or too difficult to achieve and even if it was difficult, it's not an excuse to commit sins. I'm glad that you have already chosen not to sleep around, but you should also try to stop your other sins as well. Even if you couldn't do your worship, you should at least refrain from committing major sins. If you can't pray 5 times a day, then try to pray as much as you are able to. WHen you do make mistakes, then try to do a good deed afterwards. I'm sure you have some time to do these things. Take it step by step, but move upward in your deen, not downwards. Don't compare yourself with people who are doing wrong. What is their fate in the end?? Bro you will never know when Allah will call you back to Him. You don't want to be in a state that you will regret one day. This life is so temporary and nothing is guaranteed except death. We are all going to die one day and it's the path we take that makes the biggest difference. These people who make you feel distant from Allah do not care about your well being. Make little changes everyday and try to separate yourself from this world and it's people. When you have a stronger iman, you will be able to find good company and refrain from the haram on your own.

One of the major issues that I hear you saying is that you do not like being lonely. I want you to understand that your actions should not always depend on whether or not you will be accepted by the people around you. If you know something is wrong, don't do it. Believe it or not, many people will respect you for it. If they cannot then they are not good people to be around and you can lose yourself being influenced by them so negatively. This isn't the path you want to go down. You can have fun and great friends who you do not need to sin with. When you do the right things, it will attract the right people. But if you do not know your own identity then it will be so easy to harm your soul. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I feel sorry that your parents are also not supportive of protecting you from fitnah and haram. I suggest you really work on making a stronger relationship with Allah. You are never alone when Allah is there brother.

 

[Misbah-Abd]

Asalam u alikum!

I am 17 years old and becoming 18 on the 24th of this month and have lived a great life so far. I am from Germany, parents from Kurdistan Iraq, left due to Saddam and the war. Now as I’m growing and becoming older I ask myself questions I never thought I’d ask myself.

To give you an idea of who I am: I am a student who became the Nr1 student out of 600 in 10th, after 10th grade you need to switch schools for an advanced one to go to university which is what I’ve done, alhamdurila.

First and foremost my question and then the explanation for why I came to ask this:

Allah knows best for all of us, and knows that all generations are evolving (more towards the negative side) but the requirements for Muslims to submit to allah at all times are clearly stated, yet not 100% doable for Muslims in the west, without risking to e.g loose friends, be left alone, etc etc. My main point is: I have started to here and there drink a bit, I don’t pray 5 times a day but I thank allah everyday and that has become routine. To be explicit because I think it has to be said, sometimes masturbation has also become a small problem to relief stress and not only stress but the loneliness I feel of everyone having e.g a girlfriend but not me.

I ask my mom and she says you should use the chance to sleep with a girl if the chance comes, I flipped out. Only my father and mom and at home, she said that and I raged and cried and shouted saying that it’s haram and that allah has mentioned all of these requirements yet you tell me to fornicate with a girl as if it isn’t a problem ? Her response:

my son, the requirements of what is said can somewhat not be enforced in the nowadays society because if you did want to enforce it then you couldn’t live in Germany or the entire West, as it isn’t compatible. I have not fornicated and most likely won’t. I feel the need to mention details here because I don’t have any answers, from anyone. I know the Quran gives all of the answers, but at some point my moms quote is also true, isn’t it ? Nowadays the society (most of which) are so ----ed up, that alcohol, fornication has somewhat become routine. What should I do? I am so confused that it’s a big question mark but I know that my imaan is existent but also hurt.

i seek to get the best answers for my issue, which is why I’d like to thank you!

And this is why in another forum, I said that migrating to the lands of the kuffar can have negative consequences without knowledge of Deen and a strong sense of wala and bara. You started committing sins and this has an impact on your iman. Eventually you abandoned prayer which is disbelief. Thanking Allah everyday while abandoning prayer is only making you deluded about the severe repercussions of your actions. This is one of the tricks of Shaytan. Yet you were more appalled about youf mother suggesting you sleep with a woman than you were at abandoning the prayer. So your priorities are off. Your parents are giving you awful advice that you cannot obey them in. Just because the society that you have migrated too is immoral doesn't give the Muslim the right to just give up and go with the flow when in actuality the Prophet s.a.a.w. says not to migrate to the lands of the Mushrikeen. And if you don't have strong iman you will end up losing your Deen and complaining about it on a Muslim forum that Islam is "not doable for Muslims in the west". If your parents want to be convinced of this then you better take the initiative and get it right. There is no excuses. And Allah Knows Best.

 

[Speirs]

And this is why in another forum, I said that migrating to the lands of the kuffar can have negative consequences without knowledge of Deen and a strong sense of wala and bara. You started committing sins and this has an impact on your iman. Eventually you abandoned prayer which is disbelief. Thanking Allah everyday while abandoning prayer is only making you deluded about the severe repercussions of your actions. This is one of the tricks of Shaytan. Yet you were more appalled about youf mother suggesting you sleep with a woman than you were at abandoning the prayer. So your priorities are off. Your parents are giving you awful advice that you cannot obey them in. Just because the society that you have migrated too is immoral doesn't give the Muslim the right to just give up and go with the flow when in actuality the Prophet s.a.a.w. says not to migrate to the lands of the Mushrikeen. And if you don't have strong iman you will end up losing your Deen and complaining about it on a Muslim forum that Islam is "not doable for Muslims in the west". If your parents want to be convinced of this then you better take the initiative and get it right. There is no excuses. And Allah Knows Best.

I can only agree with you yet you seem to have ignored about one simple but critical thing. War, Fightning etc. What you’re referring to is somehow indirectly and directly the past, in the east everyone is killing each other. We are all Muslims in the east, yet if one Muslim is angry at a taxi driver and says he’s a donkey the driver comes at him with his AK47.. what I’m referring to is that modern times are different than the past, and the people that are Muslims (not everyone) are definitely different from the Muslims that used to live at the time of Prophet Muhammad PBUH. I am not without regret and no one is perfect, but the response from @charisma I got is what I really thank him for.

 

[Misbah-Abd]

I can only agree with you yet you seem to have ignored about one simple but critical thing. War, Fightning etc. What you’re referring to is somehow indirectly and directly the past, in the east everyone is killing each other. We are all Muslims in the east, yet if one Muslim is angry at a taxi driver and says he’s a donkey the driver comes at him with his AK47.. what I’m referring to is that modern times are different than the past, and the people that are Muslims (not everyone) are definitely different from the Muslims that used to live at the time of Prophet Muhammad PBUH. I am not without regret and no one is perfect, but the response from @charisma I got is what I really thank him for.

So now you are safe but have abandoned prayer and doing sins. So what you have done is secured the worldly life at the expense of your Hereafter. And your logic that Islam is not practical while living in the land of the disbelievers is flawed. What I suggest is that you start seeking knowledge about the Deen, make friends with only Muslims if they are around, gravitate towards the Masjids, start to the obligatory acts of worship like you are suppose to do and do not listen to any advice from your parents when it contradicts the laws of Islam. It is up to you to make a bad situation better for yourself.

 

[azc]

Asalam u alikum!

I am 17 years old and becoming 18 on the 24th of this month and have lived a great life so far. I am from Germany, parents from Kurdistan Iraq, left due to Saddam and the war. Now as I’m growing and becoming older I ask myself questions I never thought I’d ask myself.

To give you an idea of who I am: I am a student who became the Nr1 student out of 600 in 10th, after 10th grade you need to switch schools for an advanced one to go to university which is what I’ve done, alhamdurila.

First and foremost my question and then the explanation for why I came to ask this:

Allah knows best for all of us, and knows that all generations are evolving (more towards the negative side) but the requirements for Muslims to submit to allah at all times are clearly stated, yet not 100% doable for Muslims in the west, without risking to e.g loose friends, be left alone, etc etc. My main point is: I have started to here and there drink a bit, I don’t pray 5 times a day but I thank allah everyday and that has become routine. To be explicit because I think it has to be said, sometimes masturbation has also become a small problem to relief stress and not only stress but the loneliness I feel of everyone having e.g a girlfriend but not me.

I ask my mom and she says you should use the chance to sleep with a girl if the chance comes, I flipped out. Only my father and mom and at home, she said that and I raged and cried and shouted saying that it’s haram and that allah has mentioned all of these requirements yet you tell me to fornicate with a girl as if it isn’t a problem ? Her response:

my son, the requirements of what is said can somewhat not be enforced in the nowadays society because if you did want to enforce it then you couldn’t live in Germany or the entire West, as it isn’t compatible. I have not fornicated and most likely won’t. I feel the need to mention details here because I don’t have any answers, from anyone. I know the Quran gives all of the answers, but at some point my moms quote is also true, isn’t it ? Nowadays the society (most of which) are so ----ed up, that alcohol, fornication has somewhat become routine. What should I do? I am so confused that it’s a big question mark but I know that my imaan is existent but also hurt.

i seek to get the best answers for my issue, which is why I’d like to thank you!

Try to pray salah on time.

Your confession of sinning makes you to do tawba. It's a good sign but try to stay away from sinning.

What your mother suggests is surprising as generally parents stop their children from sinning.

Keep in touch with noble people.

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

1) please dont drink. There is literally nothing good that comes out of drinking. Try non alcoholic beer if ur finding it hard to kick the habit
2) dont have unmarried intercourse: its stupid, it has huge emotional implications, and is first and foremost a huge sin. Im surprised ur mum is telling u to?
3) as for masturbation, try and find a hobby etc, something that will redirect that "energy". You could try fitness, or weighlifting or something like that. As for islam not being compatible because you'd lose friends, your friends arent exactly great in thr first place. If they cant accept ur religion then why are yall friends? I see plenty of muslims who can live in the west and practise fine. It seems to me, and i really dont want to seem judgy or offensive here, that you just dont want to follow them. Take ur time, work your way up, try and pray all the fard salat, stop talking to folk who are bad influences