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Thread: I Want a Baby!
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Ayesha_Hanif

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asalaam alykum brothers and sister,
I need a little help, am 19 years old and am married (i no i got married at a young age, but it was so that mine and my husbands relationship didnt start to get haraam, it was love marrage) i was studying at college and my husbands is working. i really hated going to college so i droped out, it was not exactly what my husband wanted but he still supported me, alhamdulilah. and now am at home I've decided that i want a baby, REALLY REALLY WANT A BABY. i reli love to have one and be a cool yummy mummy! and it will give me something to when am at however my husband thinks its not the right time yet. because of many resons. he thinks that were too young and we also dont have enough money to support our baby ect. so what should i do? should i wait or should i follow my heart?
 
i think u shud stand back and look at the situation realistically.. what would u say to a friend that felt the way u did and was in situation.
the last thing u wan to do is get into a difficult financial siutation,whilst having to support a baby.. think what would be best for your child, and when it would be best for u to properly fulfil ur being a mum dreams..
you are young and have plenty of time.. and if it means holdin on a bit longer so that u become more settled and able to provide for the baby properly, in a comfortable situation its worth the wait.
Also when the times right, it will happen anyways.. its all down to Allah's swt will
think if you become in a difficult situation with a baby, how would it affect your health, and the knock on affect to ur baby and partner?
How long have u been married, if u dont mind me asking...
 
:sl: i dont consider 19years young at all infact its quite a mature age for marriage and kids. i know of a sister who married at 16 and she was able to complete her studies. she now has a child so no its not young at all but people in the west have this mentality that it is to young to get married when ITS NOT

your an adult. i dont see the problem in you having a child. what is this silly thing that your husband is afraid of? both of you are married there should be no disagreements on this at all. i find it quite a silly thing to say because hes married to you and you are not his girlfriend anymore there is many welfare systems in the u.k for parents with kids

so yeah i think you should follow your heart
 
:sl: sister,

BETTER WAIT in right time. If you decide now and ignore current situation, it will be a big turmoil and more issues coming up. Your husband is getting more burden on his shoulder and more angry. In between infact to age 3 are the most difficult times.

If you are really need baby, i think you should find job and get more money to support your husband and future baby. Trust me, I have a son.

Hope you understand.
 
Lonely Gal said:
i think u shud stand back and look at the situation realistically.. what would u say to a friend that felt the way u did and was in situation.
the last thing u wan to do is get into a difficult financial siutation,whilst having to support a baby.. think what would be best for your child, and when it would be best for u to properly fulfil ur being a mum dreams..
you are young and have plenty of time.. and if it means holdin on a bit longer so that u become more settled and able to provide for the baby properly, in a comfortable situation its worth the wait.
Also when the times right, it will happen anyways.. its all down to Allah's swt will
think if you become in a difficult situation with a baby, how would it affect your health, and the knock on affect to ur baby and partner?
How long have u been married, if u dont mind me asking...
Click to expand...

for 7 months (i noits a short period)
 
Lonely Gal said:
i think u shud stand back and look at the situation realistically.. what would u say to a friend that felt the way u did and was in situation.
the last thing u wan to do is get into a difficult financial siutation,whilst having to support a baby.. think what would be best for your child, and when it would be best for u to properly fulfil ur being a mum dreams..
you are young and have plenty of time.. and if it means holdin on a bit longer so that u become more settled and able to provide for the baby properly, in a comfortable situation its worth the wait.
Also when the times right, it will happen anyways.. its all down to Allah's swt will
think if you become in a difficult situation with a baby, how would it affect your health, and the knock on affect to ur baby and partner?
How long have u been married, if u dont mind me asking...
Click to expand...

sister i have to disagree with you kindly if you dont mind.

she should be trusting upon Allah and not the society to maintain for her.

if he starts worrying now about being poor she will be worrying all her life and she will keep putting it off until the years fly by and she reaches her thirties her life will be waisted waiting around and for what?

because she was afraid of poverty?

dose that sound islamically right to you?:hmm:
 
Humbler_359 said:
:sl: sister,

BETTER WAIT in right time. If you decide now and ignore current situation, it will be a big turmoil and more issues coming up. Your husband is getting more burden on his shoulder and more angry. In between infact to age 3 are the most difficult times.

If you are really need baby, i think you should find job and get more money to support your husband and future baby. Trust me, I have a son.

Hope you understand.
Click to expand...

lol i was working in a nursery before i quit and that reli pushed me however in that nursery there was no muslim children and i just think it would be so cool if there was a muslim nursery. Babies are so cute!!
 
when i say ur young, i dont suggest that ur not able to have a child or it is wrong to do so cos that is not the case..
7 months, is a very short period of time.. i think you should take it easy and understand why ur hubby is sayin lets take our time, if u become a mum at home, its more pressure on him to support all 3 which means he'l be out the house working, with lil time for u and the baby. and im sure he wants to be around with his lil un as much as possible, and also to support u as its a big change to your life and will be needing support...
maybe ur feeling like this a tad more cos ur at home, maybe if u got a job or had something else to use up ur time, u wud not feel like this as much?
Can you look for a job.. i know it hard but it may help
 
Ayesha_Hanif said:
lol i was working in a nursery before i quit and that reli pushed me however in that nursery there was no muslim children and i just think it would be so cool if there was a muslim nursery. Babies are so cute!!
Click to expand...

Yes, absolutely. But no rush. Since you recently seven-month marriage MashAllah, I would suggest you to wait for 2 years, right now you and husband can enjoy travel in a big world and many things. Why? You wouldn't have much time later with husband and focus ALOT on baby, please enjoy your time!

Be reasonable and wise! :statisfie
 
Lonely Gal said:
when i say ur young, i dont suggest that ur not able to have a child or it is wrong to do so cos that is not the case..
7 months, is a very short period of time.. i think you should take it easy and understand why ur hubby is sayin lets take our time, if u become a mum at home, its more pressure on him to support all 3 which means he'l be out the house working, with lil time for u and the baby. and im sure he wants to be around with his lil un as much as possible, and also to support u as its a big change to your life and will be needing support...
maybe ur feeling like this a tad more cos ur at home, maybe if u got a job or had something else to use up ur time, u wud not feel like this as much?
Can you look for a job.. i know it hard but it may help
Click to expand...

yh sister that is exactly what my husbands say that i should get a job but am really loving being at home but i still am applying for jobs. i understand what my husband wants and i do think it is logical but is just an urge that i cant help.
 
Humbler_359 said:
Sister, all I can say is please do ISTIKHARA in communication directly with Allah, "Is this right time to have baby?" Allah will give you a sign if He say not correct time or yes. Only Allah (Subhana Wa Taa'la) know the best plan, not us.

I suggest you to pray regularly, do Salah tul Istikhara at a late night to request.



http://www.suhaibwebb.com/islam-studies/power-of-salat-ul-istikhara-abdul-sattar/comment-page-1/


Hope you can do this. Take care!
Click to expand...

jazukullah khair
 
SubhanAllah I am surprised to see the response this thread has got!

1st of all we are warned in the Qur'an not to fear poverty and to trust in Allah to provide.

2nd of all, it is haraam to put someone off increasing the Ummah for worldly reasons i.e society, money, job etc

I got married a year ago at 17. After about 9 months I too wanted a child. I'd finished college and was desperate for the next chapter in my life; motherhood.

My husband too thought we should wait as finances weren't great and he thought we should have a house first (we live in an apartment). I was upset and showed my husband all the hadiths encouraging you to have children.

He still said let's wait.

Do you know what happened?

I got pregnant anyway

I am now 12 weeks and alhamdulilah we couldn't be happier It was Allah's plan and my husband was relieved the situation was taken out of his hands as he thought he was responsible for us and shouldn't bring a child into the world with our situation.

Allah's plan rules!

Patience sis, your time will come And don't let anyone tell you you're too young!
 
yes im also shocked at the responses here. its what ud expect to hear from a non muslims point of view and not one of a muslim.

some scholars may say yous are doing a sin discouraging a sister not to have kids... subhanaAllah we all know the prophet (saw) encouraged it

one thing that ive heard from loads of mothers mouths and i mean LOADS is to not wait around because any complication can happen.

ALL THE BEST
 
AhlaamBella said:
SubhanAllah I am surprised to see the response this thread has got!

1st of all we are warned in the Qur'an not to fear poverty and to trust in Allah to provide.

2nd of all, it is haraam to put someone off increasing the Ummah for worldly reasons i.e society, money, job etc

I got married a year ago at 17. After about 9 months I too wanted a child. I'd finished college and was desperate for the next chapter in my life; motherhood.

My husband too thought we should wait as finances weren't great and he thought we should have a house first (we live in an apartment). I was upset and showed my husband all the hadiths encouraging you to have children.

He still said let's wait.

Do you know what happened?

I got pregnant anyway

I am now 12 weeks and alhamdulilah we couldn't be happier It was Allah's plan and my husband was relieved the situation was taken out of his hands as he thought he was responsible for us and shouldn't bring a child into the world with our situation.

Allah's plan rules!

Patience sis, your time will come And don't let anyone tell you you're too young!
Click to expand...

AWWWWW jazakullah sister that is a reli sweet story. thank you for that
 
Sister, if you and your husband feel the time is right, then feel free to have a child. However, you should BOTH agree to it.
 
Well a child is a big responsibility, for both parents, and he might feel he's not ready for that big responsiblity yet as when children come you constantly have to watch over them and take care of them.

He may not be ready for this yet, or for other personal reasons, so try to understand where he's coming from, cos a baby isn't like a pet dog that you get for christmas and 2 months later it's a stray.

it's a life time responsibility 24 hours a day, it takes alot out of you and he may feel as if he's not ready for this kind of committment.

Children are a big responsiblity and you have to make sure you raise them the best possible way. He may feel he's not in a position to do that at the moment, as he himself is not where he wants to be in life.
 
i think usually people are afraid of the responsibility however Allah has made the woman strong to bear this and the responsibility automatically comes on the mothers head when she has her own child, both her and the dad.
 
i think the bottom line it comes to is that u need to analyse the situation u are in... but also if Allah swt wants you to become a mother it will happen no matter wat obstacles u put in the way.. if its not meant to be then it wont until the time is right..
 
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