I want to marry him. But his parents won't let me.

I

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To whoever can shed some light.

- for one thing, one of us is Pakistani and the other Bengali. To us that doesn't matter. In Islam that doesn't matter. In culture it does.

what advice is there for someone whose family will not accept on the grounds of different race? Or because they have ulterior motives for political/family benefit.

You see, They already have a woman they want him to marry but he doesn't want to marry her. He's said no but they still keep her in topic of conversation. Forced marriages are haraam and consent is needed by both I get that. But the pressure on him is immense and I'm afraid he'll cave in and I'll lose him because his family won't agree to our union and he won't go without their blessing.

His mum is weak in health and I know he'll do anything to make her happy. I'm afraid to say him marrying a woman of her preference is one such thing, even if he doesn't want it.

Is that ok? Forcing someone through emotional blackmail? Or marrying for political benefit or cultural reasons? What is there in Islam to protect people from this fate?

We both want our parents blessings. His parents are the ones stopping our union and progress.

We don't want a secret marriage we don't want to go against them we don't want it without their blessing but we do want to marry each other in all the right ways.

Help. I'm drowning.
 
Assalamu Alaikum

firstly please be calm and remember that life is extremely short. All hardships are followed by ease.

Breathe

Sit

Recite laa ilaaha illaallaah

think of our beloved sallallahi alaihi wasallaam

once you have calmed down remember that death is the destroyer of all pleasures... that when we die nothing in this world will help us except what we did for Allaah

and then you have to ask yourself...

Would it be the correct thing to do to marry him after his parents don't want it?

I mean is that really something an un-related girl should even be thinking about concerning a boy whos family doesn't want her?

is this really worth it?

If you think it is.... ask your uncle/cousin to get in touch with him and his family

Assalamu Alaikum
 
I believe this case reminds me about the wisdom of multi-wives in Islam. I think your man can get married to both of you and that woman his parents insist on. He could get marry to her first in order to please his parents, and then get to marry you.
 
MuhammadIbrahim said:
I believe this case reminds me about the wisdom of multi-wives in Islam. I think your man can get married to both of you and that woman his parents insist on. He could get marry to her first in order to please his parents, and then get to marry you.
Click to expand...
:sl:

The case in this topic, and the example that you have written have nothing to do with wisdom of multiple wives.

Arabs have strong tradition of arranged marriage with the purpose to build ties between two families or clan. However, although this tradition strictly implemented, there is also looseness, which a man can marry the woman that chosen by himself as the second wife after he married the first woman that chosen by his family. Many Arab men use this looseness.

But the OP, and the man she want to marry are not Arab. They come from two different cultures, which in their cultures (at least in one culture), marry someone from different ethnic is taboo, even if for the second, third, or fourth wife.

Yeah, this is cultural issue.
 
:salam:

This kind of racism and nationalism is a disease. may Allah :swt: help you. Ameen.

This is a cultural issue, yes. But this culture is contrary to Islam. The racism and nationalism. Is the potential praciticing? 5 prayers? Etc.?

may Allah :swt: help you. Ameen.

And Allah :swt: knows best.
 
In terms of practising, yes he is and so am I. Ironically his family are quite pious which makes the racism more confusing.

I consider him of stronger deen than I which is probably one of the main reasons I wish for a union
 
then you should approach your mahram and get him to approach your prospects mahram

stop worrying, make and recite durood

nothing in this world is worth going crazy over

make niyyah - make dua and take the correct actions considering our beloved sallallahi alaihi wasalaams pleasure
and inshAllah what happens wether you like it or not will be what Allah and his messenger likes
 
Welcome to the forum...

Difficult one to make suggestions..

Wishing you a great stay


:peace:
 

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